would you give me the address and phone number of your son's father."
"Why? I already told you that he knows nothing about Brhin."
"Do you want your child back?"
"Yes, of course."
"We have to check all possibilities. Does the father live in town?"
"As far as I know he still does. He's a surgeon at the local hospital, St. Elizabeth Hospital." She rattled of Austin's information before clicking off.
CHAPTER 3- FRUSTRATION
Leaning her back against the doorjamb between the living room and the den, Catrine banged her head on the frame as she strove to gain control over the fear and the anxiety that threatened to invade her entire body. The thuds gave rhythmic echo to the words pounding in her head. My baby is gone….my baby is gone. Tears streamed down her face faster than she could wipe them. Her hands trembled convulsively and she gripped them tightly together.
Someone should be here with me she cried to herself. Maybe I should call Austin before the police do. This will be a tremendous shock to him. Finding out you have and haven't a son, in the same day would give any normal person a heart attack, but then again Austin wasn't just anybody. He was a dedicated, even tempered, patient surgeon. Picking up the receiver, she looked at its dial in contemplation. What in the world would I say? 'Hi, Austin this is Catrine. Long time no hear, huh. Oh, by the way, the son I never told you about can't be found. Do you by any chance have him? Right, yeah, Austin was even tempered until it came down to her. Pushing the buttons of his number, she put the receiver to her ear. The sound of his voice on the answering machine unnerved her so much she clicked the button without leaving a message. Shaking her head and then chiding herself for not putting the well being of her child before her fear she picked up the receiver again. Talking as quick as possible she asked Austin to give her a call when he returned home. No explanations and hung up. She just didn’t feel brave enough to tell a man over the phone she had lost a child he had no ideas about. Releasing a deep breath, she tossed the phone to the sofa where it hit the cushion and fell to the floor, ignored.
Crossing the room to the small glass and brass liquor cart under the window, Catrine picked up the small bottle of aspirin and poured herself a glass of Coke. Shaking three aspirin into her palm, she tossed the pills down her throat and swallowed the drink. Looking into the mirror centered on the wall next to the bar, she fingered the soft feathery cut of her strawberry-blond hair and remembered how she had let Brhin talk her into having it cut just two weeks previously. She had brought him to the barbershop for his first haircut and he had been so afraid of the clippers that she sat in the chair before him and had gotten her own mid-shoulder length hair cut to ease his fears. What could she do to ease her own fears, now?
Oh, Jesus, help me, she prayed. This fear is killing me. This is harder to bear than the near death delivery of Brhin. At least then I had known that the anguish would soon be over. I wish that I had that knowledge, now. But, there is only the knowledge that my baby is gone and I feel as if I let him down. Maybe I should not have put him in that center. Maybe, if I had left him in the care of Linda, he would be here now. Maybe, may be. I may, as well say that I should have married Austin Sanchez for all of this may be I am doing. She crossed the room to the sofa and let her body flop into its deep cushions.
Leaning her head on the backrest of the sofa, Catrine took deep breaths and concentrated on remembering the last day that she and Austin had spent together. She had purposely not let herself dwell on thoughts of Austin because she knew that deep inside she still cared very much for him. She and Austin had deliberately said some of the cruelest things to one another.
Before the breakup, the arguments had been trivial, but after a very heated
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