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Authors: Holly L. Lewitas
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defending. Maybe you just didn’t know how to defend them. Maybe it all seemed too hard.”
“I did this to myself? I had other choices?” I could hear Martha rocking back and forth in her chair. “I guess you’re right. I didn’t have to let Stanley make all the decisions. I did have other choices. I didn’t think I did, but I really did. Oh, my goodness . . . I did this to myself. . . .”
Mom stayed quiet. Not I, though. The moment was too big for me to keep my opinion to myself. I softly whined.
“Hey, Fearless, Martha finally let Stanley off the hook.”
Fearless didn’t open his eyes. He appeared to be asleep. My guess was he was trying to hang onto a good catnap dream, but then his whiskers swept upward. A cat’s cheer can be very, very quiet.
T he next day Mom made a decision. She was going to go downtown and try to use the office. It had been over three months since she’d returned to seeing patients, yet she’d never left home. Today she decided that was about to change. Melanie’s sessions were conducted from the downtown office. Mom decided it was the perfect time to make herself use the other office.
She didn’t sleep well the night before, and it took twice as long for us to all get our breakfast. Mom was distracted and unable to focus. Her scent showed fear, and she was talking loudly to herself.
“Hannah, you can do this. It’s just Melanie, for heaven sake. She can be stubborn and rebellious, but she’s not dangerous. You know that. You’ll be fine. Spunky will be there. You can do this. Hannah Richards, you will do this! Hannah, just pull yourself together. . . .”
Geez, she was beginning to babble. I knew why it was so hard to do what she was about to do. As she droned on, I thought back to the events that had occurred eleven years ago. I’d heard Mom talk about it so often it was as if I’d been there myself.
Eleven years ago she’d left the house to go to her office, just as she did every weekday. Back then, I didn’t go with her. Mom didn’t think it was proper for a professional to take a dog to the office. Besides, I was still young, just over a year old. But even at just a year I was all terrier, and if I’d been with her I’m sure things would’ve been different. Dad was also at work. Later that evening, Dad came home as usual. Mom did not. He waited. He called her office and her cell phone. He got no answer. Over the next hour he tried again several times. Still no answer. He called the police.
Earlier that day one of Mom’s clients, Mr. Cart-wright, had arrived for his regular appointment. He was sweating and disheveled, and his eyes were darting everywhere. He was acting terrified and frantic. When she reached for the phone to alert the doorman, Mr. Cartwright pulled a gun from under his coat. He told Mom to back away from the phone and sit down. She did. Mr. Cartwright said the voices wouldn’t leave him alone. They were telling him they both had to die. Mom sat very still. Every time the telephone or her cell phone rang, Mr. Cartwright insisted that she ignore it.
Mom said later that she knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into the room. She said she’d known Mr. Cartwright for over a year and he’d always acted in a kind and gentle manner. She didn’t know what had caused this break from reality. She said her only hope was to try and reach the man she knew was on the other side of those voices. She thought back over everything Mr. Cartwright had ever told her. She sought the one thing that might have greater power over him than the voices. She actually remembered two things, his two twelve-year-old children. Mom knew Mr. Cartwright loved those kids. She kept reminding him of that fact. For ten long hours, she quietly reminded him, while he held her hostage.
The standoff lasted until the SWAT team responded to Dad’s call to the police. The police made their presence known, but did not break through the office door for fear of what might
“I did this to myself? I had other choices?” I could hear Martha rocking back and forth in her chair. “I guess you’re right. I didn’t have to let Stanley make all the decisions. I did have other choices. I didn’t think I did, but I really did. Oh, my goodness . . . I did this to myself. . . .”
Mom stayed quiet. Not I, though. The moment was too big for me to keep my opinion to myself. I softly whined.
“Hey, Fearless, Martha finally let Stanley off the hook.”
Fearless didn’t open his eyes. He appeared to be asleep. My guess was he was trying to hang onto a good catnap dream, but then his whiskers swept upward. A cat’s cheer can be very, very quiet.
T he next day Mom made a decision. She was going to go downtown and try to use the office. It had been over three months since she’d returned to seeing patients, yet she’d never left home. Today she decided that was about to change. Melanie’s sessions were conducted from the downtown office. Mom decided it was the perfect time to make herself use the other office.
She didn’t sleep well the night before, and it took twice as long for us to all get our breakfast. Mom was distracted and unable to focus. Her scent showed fear, and she was talking loudly to herself.
“Hannah, you can do this. It’s just Melanie, for heaven sake. She can be stubborn and rebellious, but she’s not dangerous. You know that. You’ll be fine. Spunky will be there. You can do this. Hannah Richards, you will do this! Hannah, just pull yourself together. . . .”
Geez, she was beginning to babble. I knew why it was so hard to do what she was about to do. As she droned on, I thought back to the events that had occurred eleven years ago. I’d heard Mom talk about it so often it was as if I’d been there myself.
Eleven years ago she’d left the house to go to her office, just as she did every weekday. Back then, I didn’t go with her. Mom didn’t think it was proper for a professional to take a dog to the office. Besides, I was still young, just over a year old. But even at just a year I was all terrier, and if I’d been with her I’m sure things would’ve been different. Dad was also at work. Later that evening, Dad came home as usual. Mom did not. He waited. He called her office and her cell phone. He got no answer. Over the next hour he tried again several times. Still no answer. He called the police.
Earlier that day one of Mom’s clients, Mr. Cart-wright, had arrived for his regular appointment. He was sweating and disheveled, and his eyes were darting everywhere. He was acting terrified and frantic. When she reached for the phone to alert the doorman, Mr. Cartwright pulled a gun from under his coat. He told Mom to back away from the phone and sit down. She did. Mr. Cartwright said the voices wouldn’t leave him alone. They were telling him they both had to die. Mom sat very still. Every time the telephone or her cell phone rang, Mr. Cartwright insisted that she ignore it.
Mom said later that she knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into the room. She said she’d known Mr. Cartwright for over a year and he’d always acted in a kind and gentle manner. She didn’t know what had caused this break from reality. She said her only hope was to try and reach the man she knew was on the other side of those voices. She thought back over everything Mr. Cartwright had ever told her. She sought the one thing that might have greater power over him than the voices. She actually remembered two things, his two twelve-year-old children. Mom knew Mr. Cartwright loved those kids. She kept reminding him of that fact. For ten long hours, she quietly reminded him, while he held her hostage.
The standoff lasted until the SWAT team responded to Dad’s call to the police. The police made their presence known, but did not break through the office door for fear of what might
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