The Nerdy Dozen #2

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Authors: Jeff Miller
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breath?” asked underwater Biggs.
    â€œTen fifty-five . . . ,” replied Finch.
    Neil turned to his shaggy-headed friend.
    â€œTime to move, dude!”
    The two began swinging around the waterlogged spaceship, making their way to its front. Neil propelled himself along the side of the ship, grabbing metal poles as if they were jungle vines.
    This isn’t so bad. Just keep your momentum going.
    He guided himself to the nose of the ship and shinnied around the windows of the cockpit.
    Just then, Finch’s voice crackled over Neil’s and Biggs’s headsets.

    â€œA patch of space junk has been detected in your orbit. You now have nine minutes to complete your mission,” said Finch, relishing the drama of the simulation.
    â€œOkay, let’s motor,” said Neil. Biggs agreed, and they pressed onward. Neil heard a broadcast in his ear.
    â€œSpecialist Andertol, you are the only one receiving this transmission. Your space suit is malfunctioning. Your helmet is slowly filling up with water from a clogged air filter.”
    Neil paused, wondering if he should return to the surface.
    This is the whole challenge; you’ve got to keep going!
    Biggs kept shuffling along the port side of the ship, and Neil slowly followed. He could see bubbles spraying out from the leaky valve they needed to reach.
    â€œSpecialist Andertol, your communication radio has been compromised by water damage.”
    So now I’m stuck out here without oxygen, and I can’t talk?
    Neil tugged hard at a metal pole bolted to the ship. He flew toward Biggs, snagging a corner of his oxygen pack.
    â€œSpecialist Andertol, your helmet is now half-filled with water. You’ve only got two minutes, maximum, of oxygen in reserve.”

    Neil turned to his friend and tried to communicate that his radio was broken. He kept pointing at his ears, making a slashing motion and an X with both forearms, but Biggs just didn’t seem to get it.
    Use The Universal Biggs Language!
    What is The Universal Biggs Language?
    Neil tried to imagine what would qualify as speech in his weird friend’s head. He decided to make a gasping motion with his mouth, like a catfish. He flicked his tongue a lot, just to be dramatic.
    â€œYou okay, Neil?” said Biggs, gliding toward the problematic valve they were sent to fix.
    Neil met eyes with Biggs, and his friend could instantly tell something was wrong.
    â€œWhat’s up, man? You okay?” Biggs asked.
    Neil tried yelling, but Finch had disconnected his radio, just like what would happen in space. He knew he had to get himself out of the situation. There wasn’t enough oxygen left for Neil to stay underwater while Biggs finished the mission, but he didn’t know that. Neil had to let him know they needed to get back in the air lock immediately.

    â€œAndertol, your suit is now rapidly filling up with water from your cooling unit,” Finch said over a speaker near Neil’s head. “Your suit will be filled in less than forty-five seconds. What do you do?”
    Neil threw caution to the wind and began trying to make hand movements that looked like horses or centaurs, or some other kind of mythical four-legged animal.
    â€œWhoa! You in trouble, Neil?” Biggs yelled. He turned his attention from the bubbling valve outside of the fake Whiptail to his friend.
    Neil made his mouth open wide, like a puffer fish suffocating onshore.
    â€œYou have a leak in your suit? Well, let’s get back inside!” yelled Biggs, realizing the safety of his partner was more valuable than ship repairs. They floated back around the ship. Biggs ushered Neil into the ship’s air lock, and Finch announced that the training was over.
    Yellow-fin-wearing SCUBA divers, who had been overseeing the safety of the procedure, escorted Neil and Biggs to the water’s surface.
    â€œWell done, you two,” the commander said. He typed a few more keystrokes into his laptop

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