shivering as the wind cuts through.
What did my mother mean?
I take several long deep breaths, trying to get air past the rocks in my throat.
The book falls open in my hands to Magda’s entry, as several members of the search party trudge into sight, looking like shadows cast by the sinking sun. Their faces are long and thin, their brows heavy, shoulders hunched. Their hopes of finding Edgar, at least of finding him alive, must be waning with the light. I watch them from my post, glancing up from the book and trying to give the look of a docile, patient girl. My thumb traces over the words, The wind is lonely.
The men pause at Otto’s house and exchange a few low words. Then the group breaks apart, scattering like seeds on a gust of wind.
I step aside as Otto stomps past and into our house, avoiding my gaze. And there, a few strides behind him, a tall boy marches over, his shock of dirty-blond hair glowing in the dusky light. Tyler Ward. His pace slows to a stroll as he sees me, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth, even now. He’s trying and failing to look appropriately sober, considering the situation. He slips into the doorway with me, weaving his fingers through mine.
“Pretty sunset,” he says, and his imitation of the brooding and forlorn is almost funny.
“No luck?” I ask, pulling my hand away.
He shakes his head, and I can’t believe it, but it’s almost dismissive. I bite my tongue and force a calm smile.
“Where did you look?”
“Why?” He shoots a blue-eyed glance at me from behind his hair.
“Come on, Tyler,” I say. “You’re always complaining of not having enough adventure. Regale me. What did you do today? Where did you go?”
“Otto said you’d ask, said you’d try to go off on your own. That would be unsafe, Lexi,” he says with a frown. “I’m afraid I cannot risk you getting hurt.” His eyes wander down my hands to a small nick, a splinter from chopping wood. He runs his fingertips over it. “I would have done that for you.”
“I didn’t want to wait,” I say, pulling my hand away. “And I’m more than able.” Tyler falls into a strange quiet, and I step closer and brush his jaw with my fingers, guiding his chin up. “The town square? The Drake’s house? That field we used to play in, the one full of heather?”
He offers a slanted grin. “What will you give me for it?”
“This is serious,” I say. “It’s almost dark, and Edgar’s still missing.”
He looks away, leaning heavily back against the door frame with a frown. It looks wrong on his face, which is so used to smiling. “I know, Lexi. I’m sorry.”
“Have you been to see Helena? Is she all right?”
He interlaces his fingers behind his head and looks away.
I let out an exasperated sigh. The doorway is not big enough for both of us, and I step past him and out into the yard. Tyler trots after me.
“I’ll tell you if you answer a question for me.”
I stop walking away but don’t turn around. I wait for him to reach me, hugging the book to my chest. The wind picks up, the cold air prickling my skin. The world is turning a bruised shade as the light fades. Tyler stops just behind my back. I can almost feel his outstretched hand as he tries to decide whether to touch me or not.
“Why are you doing this to me?” comes his voice, just loud enough to cross the narrow space between us.
“I’m not doing anything, Tyler.” But I know it’s a lie. And so does he.
“Lexi,” he says, and the voice is strange, almost pleading, “you know what I want. Why won’t you even—”
“Why won’t I give you what you want, Tyler?” I ask, spinning on him. “Is that what you’re asking?”
“Lexi, be fair. Give me a chance.” He reaches out, brushes a coil of dark hair from my face. “Tell me what you’re afraid of. Tell me why I can be your friend your entire life, and yet you won’t entertain the thought of—”
“ Because you’re my friend,” I interrupt. That’s
What did my mother mean?
I take several long deep breaths, trying to get air past the rocks in my throat.
The book falls open in my hands to Magda’s entry, as several members of the search party trudge into sight, looking like shadows cast by the sinking sun. Their faces are long and thin, their brows heavy, shoulders hunched. Their hopes of finding Edgar, at least of finding him alive, must be waning with the light. I watch them from my post, glancing up from the book and trying to give the look of a docile, patient girl. My thumb traces over the words, The wind is lonely.
The men pause at Otto’s house and exchange a few low words. Then the group breaks apart, scattering like seeds on a gust of wind.
I step aside as Otto stomps past and into our house, avoiding my gaze. And there, a few strides behind him, a tall boy marches over, his shock of dirty-blond hair glowing in the dusky light. Tyler Ward. His pace slows to a stroll as he sees me, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth, even now. He’s trying and failing to look appropriately sober, considering the situation. He slips into the doorway with me, weaving his fingers through mine.
“Pretty sunset,” he says, and his imitation of the brooding and forlorn is almost funny.
“No luck?” I ask, pulling my hand away.
He shakes his head, and I can’t believe it, but it’s almost dismissive. I bite my tongue and force a calm smile.
“Where did you look?”
“Why?” He shoots a blue-eyed glance at me from behind his hair.
“Come on, Tyler,” I say. “You’re always complaining of not having enough adventure. Regale me. What did you do today? Where did you go?”
“Otto said you’d ask, said you’d try to go off on your own. That would be unsafe, Lexi,” he says with a frown. “I’m afraid I cannot risk you getting hurt.” His eyes wander down my hands to a small nick, a splinter from chopping wood. He runs his fingertips over it. “I would have done that for you.”
“I didn’t want to wait,” I say, pulling my hand away. “And I’m more than able.” Tyler falls into a strange quiet, and I step closer and brush his jaw with my fingers, guiding his chin up. “The town square? The Drake’s house? That field we used to play in, the one full of heather?”
He offers a slanted grin. “What will you give me for it?”
“This is serious,” I say. “It’s almost dark, and Edgar’s still missing.”
He looks away, leaning heavily back against the door frame with a frown. It looks wrong on his face, which is so used to smiling. “I know, Lexi. I’m sorry.”
“Have you been to see Helena? Is she all right?”
He interlaces his fingers behind his head and looks away.
I let out an exasperated sigh. The doorway is not big enough for both of us, and I step past him and out into the yard. Tyler trots after me.
“I’ll tell you if you answer a question for me.”
I stop walking away but don’t turn around. I wait for him to reach me, hugging the book to my chest. The wind picks up, the cold air prickling my skin. The world is turning a bruised shade as the light fades. Tyler stops just behind my back. I can almost feel his outstretched hand as he tries to decide whether to touch me or not.
“Why are you doing this to me?” comes his voice, just loud enough to cross the narrow space between us.
“I’m not doing anything, Tyler.” But I know it’s a lie. And so does he.
“Lexi,” he says, and the voice is strange, almost pleading, “you know what I want. Why won’t you even—”
“Why won’t I give you what you want, Tyler?” I ask, spinning on him. “Is that what you’re asking?”
“Lexi, be fair. Give me a chance.” He reaches out, brushes a coil of dark hair from my face. “Tell me what you’re afraid of. Tell me why I can be your friend your entire life, and yet you won’t entertain the thought of—”
“ Because you’re my friend,” I interrupt. That’s
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