Hustling Black:
These blacks are a subcategory of the Ambitious Black, though they aren’t quite there yet. Always “on the grind,” this black has tried it all, has ridden every wave in an attempt to make ends meet. This black is on the move constantly, so don’t ever try to ask him what he does, specifically. The answer will always vary. A Jack-of-all-trades but master-of-none, this black is still figuring everything out in his attempt to find a place in this world.
THE APPROACH: Encourage this black to find a focus, but show your support along the way.
KEY PHRASES: “Sure, we can do lunch”; “Yes, I’ll listen to your new idea”; “Fine, I’ll donate to your Kickstarter.”
The Insecure Black:
Constantly concerned with how race plays a factor in their everyday life, these blacks get really uncomfortable when race is brought up, fearing that all eyes will be on them. Does everything have to be about race? they ask. They don’t offer opinions about Obama for fear of appearing biased. They listen to all genres of music, but generally try to stay away from hip-hop and R&B, as they don’t want to be categorized. Their biggest fear is the return of slavery or a mutiny against blacks.
THE APPROACH: This black doesn’t want to rock the boat, so broach general subjects, like academia and pop culture. But make sure the references aren’t too loaded. So don’t ask if Miley Cyrus is appropriating black culture when she twerks. Also avoid hip-hop in general, and Kim K.
KEY PHRASES: “What’s the latest in Popular Science news?”; “Aren’t babies cute?”; “The weather has been great/not so good.”
The Know-It-All About Blacks Black:
You might think I fall into this category, but I can assure you I don’t. These blacks insist they know all there is to know about blacks, where they came from and where they’re going. You may let it slip that you want to take swimming lessons. Mistake! The KIAAB Black will be quick to tell you that “black people don’t swim.” Do you have an idea that may progress the state of intra-racial relations? Don’t bother. KIAAB Blacks tends to be super-pessimisticabout our future and resist anything new. They are happy to list everything that black people don’t do.
THE APPROACH: The Awkward Black is too outside-the-box for the Know-It-All About Blacks Black to comprehend. If you’re black and say something a Know-It-All disagrees with, be prepared to be called white or whitewashed. For the general population, the KIAAB Black probably doesn’t want to associate with you. He/She is content with sitting back and judging you. There’s literally nothing you can do about it. Nothing.
CONVERSATION TIPS: Avoid talking and don’t bother trying to change this black’s mind about anything.
The LGBT Black:
Just like blackness itself, the scope of the LGBT Black varies. Often torn between allegiances to two worlds, the LGBT Black finds him/herself at the bottom of the priority totem pole in both cases. Undervalued, unappreciated, and dismissed, many LGBT Blacks have a razor-edged chip on their shoulders. Others are perfectly content with who they are and are especially content with telling all of their business to anyone who will listen.
THE APPROACH: Don’t bring up their sexuality if they don’t. If they do, engage. Don’t pry. Don’t judge. Don’t try to set them up with your friends. Don’t assume gender. Don’t show your privilege. Don’t be misogynistic. Don’t be homophobic. Don’t be transphobic. Don’t be cissexist. Just STFU, STFU, STFU.
KEY PHRASE: “I value you.”
The Militant Black:
Extremely proud to be black. For the Militant Black, everything is about race. This black experiences both pride and paranoia. Thisblack has experienced racism at every turn and refuses to let you succumb to the same. Some militants are very hostile toward whites. Some are even bigoted where other ethnicities and nationalities are concerned. This black is often a
These blacks are a subcategory of the Ambitious Black, though they aren’t quite there yet. Always “on the grind,” this black has tried it all, has ridden every wave in an attempt to make ends meet. This black is on the move constantly, so don’t ever try to ask him what he does, specifically. The answer will always vary. A Jack-of-all-trades but master-of-none, this black is still figuring everything out in his attempt to find a place in this world.
THE APPROACH: Encourage this black to find a focus, but show your support along the way.
KEY PHRASES: “Sure, we can do lunch”; “Yes, I’ll listen to your new idea”; “Fine, I’ll donate to your Kickstarter.”
The Insecure Black:
Constantly concerned with how race plays a factor in their everyday life, these blacks get really uncomfortable when race is brought up, fearing that all eyes will be on them. Does everything have to be about race? they ask. They don’t offer opinions about Obama for fear of appearing biased. They listen to all genres of music, but generally try to stay away from hip-hop and R&B, as they don’t want to be categorized. Their biggest fear is the return of slavery or a mutiny against blacks.
THE APPROACH: This black doesn’t want to rock the boat, so broach general subjects, like academia and pop culture. But make sure the references aren’t too loaded. So don’t ask if Miley Cyrus is appropriating black culture when she twerks. Also avoid hip-hop in general, and Kim K.
KEY PHRASES: “What’s the latest in Popular Science news?”; “Aren’t babies cute?”; “The weather has been great/not so good.”
The Know-It-All About Blacks Black:
You might think I fall into this category, but I can assure you I don’t. These blacks insist they know all there is to know about blacks, where they came from and where they’re going. You may let it slip that you want to take swimming lessons. Mistake! The KIAAB Black will be quick to tell you that “black people don’t swim.” Do you have an idea that may progress the state of intra-racial relations? Don’t bother. KIAAB Blacks tends to be super-pessimisticabout our future and resist anything new. They are happy to list everything that black people don’t do.
THE APPROACH: The Awkward Black is too outside-the-box for the Know-It-All About Blacks Black to comprehend. If you’re black and say something a Know-It-All disagrees with, be prepared to be called white or whitewashed. For the general population, the KIAAB Black probably doesn’t want to associate with you. He/She is content with sitting back and judging you. There’s literally nothing you can do about it. Nothing.
CONVERSATION TIPS: Avoid talking and don’t bother trying to change this black’s mind about anything.
The LGBT Black:
Just like blackness itself, the scope of the LGBT Black varies. Often torn between allegiances to two worlds, the LGBT Black finds him/herself at the bottom of the priority totem pole in both cases. Undervalued, unappreciated, and dismissed, many LGBT Blacks have a razor-edged chip on their shoulders. Others are perfectly content with who they are and are especially content with telling all of their business to anyone who will listen.
THE APPROACH: Don’t bring up their sexuality if they don’t. If they do, engage. Don’t pry. Don’t judge. Don’t try to set them up with your friends. Don’t assume gender. Don’t show your privilege. Don’t be misogynistic. Don’t be homophobic. Don’t be transphobic. Don’t be cissexist. Just STFU, STFU, STFU.
KEY PHRASE: “I value you.”
The Militant Black:
Extremely proud to be black. For the Militant Black, everything is about race. This black experiences both pride and paranoia. Thisblack has experienced racism at every turn and refuses to let you succumb to the same. Some militants are very hostile toward whites. Some are even bigoted where other ethnicities and nationalities are concerned. This black is often a
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