Read Online The Mince Pie Mix-Up by Jennifer Joyce - Free Book Online Page B

the pub. It had been ages since Judy had been inside the White Swan and it had changed hands several times since. She didn’t recognise anybody either seated in the pub or stationed behind the bar, but they seemed to recognise her husband. It would have been exhausting playing along at any other time, but near impossible when it felt like she’d just challenged Usain Bolt to a lap around the football pitch and Amir Khan to a boxing match.
    ‘A pint, is it?’ Curtis asked as the barmaid made her way over to them.
    ‘No, I’ll have a glass of red wine, please.’
    Too late, Judy realised her mistake.
Calvin didn’t drink red wine
. Whoops.
    ‘Oh.’ Curtis’s eyes were wide as he looked from Judy to Richie and Pierce. ‘Okay then. What about you two? A pint? Or how about a Tia Maria with Coke? With a little umbrella.’
    The three of them cracked up while Judy wondered if they’d notice if she crept out of the pub and scurried home before she caused any more damage to her husband’s reputation. She knew football with the lads would turn out to be a huge mistake.
    ‘Three pints and a red wine for the lady,’ Curtis said to the barmaid, barely able to hide his smirk. If only he knew that his comment was spot on. He paid for the drinks and they carried them to an empty table next to the manically flashing fruit machine. Pierce fed an alarming amount of pound coins into the machine without any success.
    ‘So how’d it go with Mandy last night?’ Curtis asked Pierce when he rejoined them with lighter pockets.
    Pierce shook his head. ‘Not good.’
    ‘Who’s Mandy?’ Richie asked.
    ‘Met her on Tinder.’ Pierce took a sip of his pint. ‘When I said I worked with cars, she got it into her head I was some big shot car salesman. She thought I was minted so it was a bit of a disappointment when she found out I’m actually a mechanic at the village garage.’
    ‘There’s nothing wrong with being a mechanic,’ Judy said. She couldn’t help it. Poor Pierce looked crushed, but that could have been because he’d just shoved thirty quid in the fruit machine and lost the lot.
    ‘
I
know that. Mandy not so much. She only dates “successful” guys, apparently.’
    ‘You’re better off without her. You deserve somebody who will truly appreciate you for who you are.’ Judy took a sip of her wine, closing her eyes to truly savour it. Man, that tasted glorious after the stress of the past couple of days.
    When she opened her eyes, three sets of eyes were upon her.
    Too flowery advice, perhaps? Judy needed to rectify the situation, and fast.
    She gave Calvin’s bollocks a good scratch. ‘So, um, you didn’t shag her then?’
    While Judy had been freezing on the football pitch, Calvin had been sweating in the kitchen. It had taken all morning and several attempts, but he finally had four dozen mince pies (minus one. They needed testing before Calvin could bestow them on the public – he couldn’t risk body swapping the entire village, either!). The mince pies were cooling on racks, ready for the Christmas lights switch-on that evening. After all the baking, Calvin didn’t have time to make a full-on roast so he made sausages and chips instead, which was just as good. Judy wasn’t impressed when she shuffled through to the kitchen, aching and miserable after her morning playing football. She hadn’t enjoyed the experience one bit and she now had mud lodged in unmentionable places.
    But Judy was too exhausted to complain and simply sat at the table and ate the food provided.
    ‘How was it?’ As proud as Calvin was of his baking efforts, he’d missed seeing his mates that morning. He enjoyed being part of a team, the camaraderie that came with it. You didn’t get that with a mixing bowl and a pre-heated oven.
    ‘Cold.’ Judy glared at her husband.
    ‘Oh?’ Calvin feigned ignorance but Judy’s expression soon lightened.
    ‘By the way, your friends have given you a new nickname. They dragged me to the pub