Read Online The Lost Era: Well of Souls: Star Trek by Ilsa J. Bick - Free Book Online
Authors: Ilsa J. Bick
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boy into taking sides. “He never says anything. He doesn’t talk about you much, not even when Nan wants to. He won’t. I know because I’ve heard him tell her to be quiet; that it’s not right to talk about you. Then sometimes they get really quiet, and they aren’t talking, but they still are, you know? The way the room gets really still and the air is hard, like ice, and I just know that they’re thinking at each other, real loud.”
Garrett could imagine that this was exactly how an argument between two telepaths might seem to someone who couldn’t read minds, and she ought to know. Excluded was the word that came to her mind, and that was the way she’d felt whenever they visited Ven’s mother, as if they and all telepaths were part of a club to which she was denied admittance, maybe for her own good. She’d always nurtured the sneaking suspicion that Ven’s mother, an imposing and somewhat imperious woman named Molaranna, made cutting little telepathic jibes about Garrett. To Garrett, the atmosphere always turned frosty whenever she and Ven visited, and sometimes the pauses in the conversations weren’t empty at all but felt full of things being said in the air above her head.
She gave Jase a small smile. “But you said Dad was angry. If he didn’t tell you, how do you know how he felt?”
That shoulder hike again. “I just do. It’s hard to put into words. But Dad’s feelings ... they kind of come off in waves. Like heat shimmers off hot sand, the way you can see them in the air. You know?”
“Sure,” said Garrett, remembering those cold pregnant silences. “What about you?”
“What about what?”
Garrett gave him a look. “I mean, how did you feel? When I couldn’t ...” She broke off, and rephrased. “When I didn’t come for your birthday after I promised I would?”
“It made me sad,” Jase said, with the simple, unflinching directness that only children who love their parents have. “You promised, and you didn’t show up. You didn’t call.”
It was on the tip of Garrett’s tongue to tell her son about all the things that were going on with her crew, the ship. But she held back. He was a boy. She was the parent. It wasn’t Jase’s job to comfort her. No excuses.
“Yes,” she said, “and I’m sorry, and it’s not okay. It’s never okay to break a promise.”
Jase nodded. His eyes fell, and he blinked. “But there was a good reason, right?” he asked his hands. “I mean, you’re a captain and all, and so you must have had a lot to do, stuff that’s really important.”
Oh, yeah, duty rosters are really important. Letting your first officer go on R and R because you’d rather not have him around is really important.
“You’re important,” said Garrett, and that was the truth. She couldn’t bring herself to say that he was more important than her ship; he’d see through that because, after all, she hadn’t made the choice to be there for him. But she told him the truth.
“Sure,” said Jase, still staring into his hands.
Garrett waited a beat. “Where are you all headed, by the way? I forgot to ask your father.”
Jase shook his head. “I don’t know. Dad didn’t say. We’re just,” he made a helpless-looking gesture with his hands, “on a ship.”
“Are there other scientists on board?”
Jason nodded. “Yeah, one other, and the pilot. He’s Naxeran. And another kid. His name’s Pahl. He’s Naxeran, too.”
“Oh,” said Garrett. “Well, that’s good. I mean you’ll have someone to talk to.”
“Yeah,” said Jase, without much conviction. “It would be okay if we stayed home, though.”
Home, as in Betazed, Garrett translated silently. Betazed was home for Jase. She could count on one hand the number of times he’d visited her family on Earth. That was okay, though; she didn’t much enjoy seeing her family either.
“Are you getting tired of going off with your dad?”
“Only a little.” Jase looked wary.
Garrett could imagine that this was exactly how an argument between two telepaths might seem to someone who couldn’t read minds, and she ought to know. Excluded was the word that came to her mind, and that was the way she’d felt whenever they visited Ven’s mother, as if they and all telepaths were part of a club to which she was denied admittance, maybe for her own good. She’d always nurtured the sneaking suspicion that Ven’s mother, an imposing and somewhat imperious woman named Molaranna, made cutting little telepathic jibes about Garrett. To Garrett, the atmosphere always turned frosty whenever she and Ven visited, and sometimes the pauses in the conversations weren’t empty at all but felt full of things being said in the air above her head.
She gave Jase a small smile. “But you said Dad was angry. If he didn’t tell you, how do you know how he felt?”
That shoulder hike again. “I just do. It’s hard to put into words. But Dad’s feelings ... they kind of come off in waves. Like heat shimmers off hot sand, the way you can see them in the air. You know?”
“Sure,” said Garrett, remembering those cold pregnant silences. “What about you?”
“What about what?”
Garrett gave him a look. “I mean, how did you feel? When I couldn’t ...” She broke off, and rephrased. “When I didn’t come for your birthday after I promised I would?”
“It made me sad,” Jase said, with the simple, unflinching directness that only children who love their parents have. “You promised, and you didn’t show up. You didn’t call.”
It was on the tip of Garrett’s tongue to tell her son about all the things that were going on with her crew, the ship. But she held back. He was a boy. She was the parent. It wasn’t Jase’s job to comfort her. No excuses.
“Yes,” she said, “and I’m sorry, and it’s not okay. It’s never okay to break a promise.”
Jase nodded. His eyes fell, and he blinked. “But there was a good reason, right?” he asked his hands. “I mean, you’re a captain and all, and so you must have had a lot to do, stuff that’s really important.”
Oh, yeah, duty rosters are really important. Letting your first officer go on R and R because you’d rather not have him around is really important.
“You’re important,” said Garrett, and that was the truth. She couldn’t bring herself to say that he was more important than her ship; he’d see through that because, after all, she hadn’t made the choice to be there for him. But she told him the truth.
“Sure,” said Jase, still staring into his hands.
Garrett waited a beat. “Where are you all headed, by the way? I forgot to ask your father.”
Jase shook his head. “I don’t know. Dad didn’t say. We’re just,” he made a helpless-looking gesture with his hands, “on a ship.”
“Are there other scientists on board?”
Jason nodded. “Yeah, one other, and the pilot. He’s Naxeran. And another kid. His name’s Pahl. He’s Naxeran, too.”
“Oh,” said Garrett. “Well, that’s good. I mean you’ll have someone to talk to.”
“Yeah,” said Jase, without much conviction. “It would be okay if we stayed home, though.”
Home, as in Betazed, Garrett translated silently. Betazed was home for Jase. She could count on one hand the number of times he’d visited her family on Earth. That was okay, though; she didn’t much enjoy seeing her family either.
“Are you getting tired of going off with your dad?”
“Only a little.” Jase looked wary.
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