Read Online The Little Way of Ruthie Leming: A Southern Girl, a Small Town, and the Secret of a Good Life by Rod Dreher - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Rod Dreher
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Ruthie would stay up late talking to him by phone. “Like a couple of teenagers!” says Hannah. “I would be like, ‘Mom, come on!’
“They were so silly and sweet,” Hannah says. “It was cool to me that they always seemed to fall more in love with each other each day. Some married couples, you can tell that they just get to this point where they’re done with love. It wasn’t that way with them. And their love radiated to us. What they loved they wanted us to love too.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Sweet Babies
When Shannon Nixon Morell met my sister, she was eleven years old and one of eight African American children living in a troubled home. Her father was an alcoholic. Her mother worked three, sometimes four, jobs to keep the family fed. There was intense poverty, and chaos. Shannon never told her new sixth-grade teacher about what was going on in her house, but Ruthie knew. Shannon was ashamed of her circumstances, and felt trapped and angry.
Ruthie smiled at her and said her name. That was enough for Shannon, who came from a home where nobody smiled, or seemed to care what happened to her. Ruthie saw promise in Shannon, and would sometimes spend their lunch hour in a field next to Bains Elementary, trying out strategies to help the struggling girl master her schoolwork.
“Shannon,” Ruthie would say, “your life is hard, but you can do better than this. I can’t let you feel sorry for yourself. If you feel sorry for yourself, you’re going to give up.”
Shannon liked that. It made her believe that she had within her the power to change her life.
One day she said to Ruthie, “Mrs. Leming, I want to be a psychologist when I grow up.”
“Why not?” Ruthie said. “If that’s what you want to be, go for it!You can do it, baby. Just put your mind to it, and don’t let go of your dream.”
After finishing sixth grade Shannon moved up to the nearby high school building, but she kept in touch with Ruthie. When she was old enough for the cheerleading squad, she told Ruthie she wanted to try out, but wasn’t sure that she was good enough.
“Shannon, you’re awesome at this,” said Ruthie, who had been on the pep squad in high school. “You have the talent. I know you can do it. Believe in yourself. Don’t ever settle for being just okay when you know you have it in you to do better.”
Because Ruthie believed in her, Shannon started to believe in herself. She tried out for cheerleader, and made the squad. This caused some of her black girlfriends who hadn’t made the cut to turn on Shannon, accusing her of trying to be white. Shannon couldn’t talk about this with her family, who shared those racist views. So she went to Ruthie.
“Don’t listen to them, Shannon,” Ruthie said. “You know what you’re really worth. They’re just trying to tear you down. Be strong, sweet baby, and keep on going.”
Shannon left West Feliciana after graduation and joined the Navy. Today Shannon is a married mom who lives in southern California and works in, yes, psychology, at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. She lives with her husband and children far away from her hometown, and, given her difficult relationship with her Louisiana family, she doubts that she will ever return. She is thriving in California, both personally and professionally, and thinks of Ruthie as the woman who midwifed this beautiful life—a gift she tries to share with others.
“People say when your life is constantly miserable you either keep fighting or you give up and fall into the misery around you,” Shannon says. “Ruthie was a source of strength to me to get me through all that.In the work I do, it’s always my goal to make people feel like they’re important, that they’re worthy. That’s how she treated me.
“I came from a place where I didn’t feel important, and nobody missed you when you were gone,” she continues. “I always felt like I was important to Ruthie. She gave so much to us
“They were so silly and sweet,” Hannah says. “It was cool to me that they always seemed to fall more in love with each other each day. Some married couples, you can tell that they just get to this point where they’re done with love. It wasn’t that way with them. And their love radiated to us. What they loved they wanted us to love too.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Sweet Babies
When Shannon Nixon Morell met my sister, she was eleven years old and one of eight African American children living in a troubled home. Her father was an alcoholic. Her mother worked three, sometimes four, jobs to keep the family fed. There was intense poverty, and chaos. Shannon never told her new sixth-grade teacher about what was going on in her house, but Ruthie knew. Shannon was ashamed of her circumstances, and felt trapped and angry.
Ruthie smiled at her and said her name. That was enough for Shannon, who came from a home where nobody smiled, or seemed to care what happened to her. Ruthie saw promise in Shannon, and would sometimes spend their lunch hour in a field next to Bains Elementary, trying out strategies to help the struggling girl master her schoolwork.
“Shannon,” Ruthie would say, “your life is hard, but you can do better than this. I can’t let you feel sorry for yourself. If you feel sorry for yourself, you’re going to give up.”
Shannon liked that. It made her believe that she had within her the power to change her life.
One day she said to Ruthie, “Mrs. Leming, I want to be a psychologist when I grow up.”
“Why not?” Ruthie said. “If that’s what you want to be, go for it!You can do it, baby. Just put your mind to it, and don’t let go of your dream.”
After finishing sixth grade Shannon moved up to the nearby high school building, but she kept in touch with Ruthie. When she was old enough for the cheerleading squad, she told Ruthie she wanted to try out, but wasn’t sure that she was good enough.
“Shannon, you’re awesome at this,” said Ruthie, who had been on the pep squad in high school. “You have the talent. I know you can do it. Believe in yourself. Don’t ever settle for being just okay when you know you have it in you to do better.”
Because Ruthie believed in her, Shannon started to believe in herself. She tried out for cheerleader, and made the squad. This caused some of her black girlfriends who hadn’t made the cut to turn on Shannon, accusing her of trying to be white. Shannon couldn’t talk about this with her family, who shared those racist views. So she went to Ruthie.
“Don’t listen to them, Shannon,” Ruthie said. “You know what you’re really worth. They’re just trying to tear you down. Be strong, sweet baby, and keep on going.”
Shannon left West Feliciana after graduation and joined the Navy. Today Shannon is a married mom who lives in southern California and works in, yes, psychology, at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior. She lives with her husband and children far away from her hometown, and, given her difficult relationship with her Louisiana family, she doubts that she will ever return. She is thriving in California, both personally and professionally, and thinks of Ruthie as the woman who midwifed this beautiful life—a gift she tries to share with others.
“People say when your life is constantly miserable you either keep fighting or you give up and fall into the misery around you,” Shannon says. “Ruthie was a source of strength to me to get me through all that.In the work I do, it’s always my goal to make people feel like they’re important, that they’re worthy. That’s how she treated me.
“I came from a place where I didn’t feel important, and nobody missed you when you were gone,” she continues. “I always felt like I was important to Ruthie. She gave so much to us
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