Read Online The Line That Binds Series Box Set by J. M. Miller - Free Book Online
Authors: J. M. Miller
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all the appropriate places. I was officially squishy. I stood in front of the door-length mirror on the closet door and grabbed my butt cheeks and my boobs, giggling their excess with neither shame nor hate. It was the same squishy that my friends and I had made fun of every day on the bodies of any number of girls at my old school. It didn’t look bad. I knew the reason we made fun of those girls was to get that temporary high of superiority.
And because of fear.
I was afraid I’d lose my place, my narrow rung on our temperamental popularity ladder. I didn’t have the courage to stick up for myself or anyone else. The fear of being ostracized within our group of country club friends sadly outweighed the payout for being a nice person.
I looked at the boxes of clothes that I left out yesterday. Even if I wanted to keep all of my trendy couture, I’d only be able to admire the pieces while they permanently decorated the closet. Every piece was growing smaller, and I was sure that should’ve made me depressed, like any other time a waistline started to threaten me with a muffin top, but I was oddly okay with it. It was the least of my troubles after what we’d been through.
I was upset that Dad lost his job, but more so that he’d hid it from us for several months. I understood his reluctance, though. Why tell us when he could land something else in the meantime? It would only worry us and feed into the neighborhood gossip. Assuming something would turn up was a natural response, even during a less-than-desirable economy, because he worked in Las Vegas. Vegas thrived regardless of the country’s average economic crisis. That’s why it was difficult to believe that not a single casino was willing to take him on as lead entertainment manager, co-manager, or lowly assistant. Most of the over-paid saps in those positions had also been laid off. Their inferiors had taken over, working for cheaper and longer, filling five titles for the price of one. The men upstairs pulled the rug on the rest, and watched them topple with no remorse. Vegas wasn’t as strong as it once was.
Dad was stuck. Rock bottom came when he drained the last of the funds from the checking and savings then turned to the college accounts only to discover Mom had drained them without our knowledge months before. Not too long after, the cars were repossessed and the bank took the house. Dad ignored it all for too long and filed for bankruptcy too late.
At many points along the way, I boiled on the inside. I harbored it there and forced myself to remain calm. I knew I had to keep it together during the toughest times for Gavin: when Dad’s anger pushed him to chuck household items at the walls of the house we could no longer call home, when our friends gradually stopped returning our calls, when everything turned to shit and no one cared. I had to be the support while the rest of our world collapsed at our feet, threatening to rip our lives apart before swallowing us whole. Gavin may never understand or acknowledge my help, but that’s all okay with me as long as he’s safe.
We were no longer wealthy. That truth will inevitably affect him, though he’d shown little care so far. He got to keep most of his stuff and he still had his best friend, Nick, to talk to on his game. That’s why his face remained attached to the screen. But I knew the bomb would drop tomorrow when we were forced into our new life like chum wrapped around a bait stick. I was a senior in high school. I knew how it all worked. I’d been a shark too often to ignore something so definite. Even though Gavin was in middle school, he should know the drill, too. Anyone new always faced the shark tank, rich or poor. Sometimes the bigger the fish, the worse off it was because no one wanted to surrender their top spot to a new student whose reputation was bigger than their own. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to worry about that here. Today’s agenda would help.
“Are you sure you
And because of fear.
I was afraid I’d lose my place, my narrow rung on our temperamental popularity ladder. I didn’t have the courage to stick up for myself or anyone else. The fear of being ostracized within our group of country club friends sadly outweighed the payout for being a nice person.
I looked at the boxes of clothes that I left out yesterday. Even if I wanted to keep all of my trendy couture, I’d only be able to admire the pieces while they permanently decorated the closet. Every piece was growing smaller, and I was sure that should’ve made me depressed, like any other time a waistline started to threaten me with a muffin top, but I was oddly okay with it. It was the least of my troubles after what we’d been through.
I was upset that Dad lost his job, but more so that he’d hid it from us for several months. I understood his reluctance, though. Why tell us when he could land something else in the meantime? It would only worry us and feed into the neighborhood gossip. Assuming something would turn up was a natural response, even during a less-than-desirable economy, because he worked in Las Vegas. Vegas thrived regardless of the country’s average economic crisis. That’s why it was difficult to believe that not a single casino was willing to take him on as lead entertainment manager, co-manager, or lowly assistant. Most of the over-paid saps in those positions had also been laid off. Their inferiors had taken over, working for cheaper and longer, filling five titles for the price of one. The men upstairs pulled the rug on the rest, and watched them topple with no remorse. Vegas wasn’t as strong as it once was.
Dad was stuck. Rock bottom came when he drained the last of the funds from the checking and savings then turned to the college accounts only to discover Mom had drained them without our knowledge months before. Not too long after, the cars were repossessed and the bank took the house. Dad ignored it all for too long and filed for bankruptcy too late.
At many points along the way, I boiled on the inside. I harbored it there and forced myself to remain calm. I knew I had to keep it together during the toughest times for Gavin: when Dad’s anger pushed him to chuck household items at the walls of the house we could no longer call home, when our friends gradually stopped returning our calls, when everything turned to shit and no one cared. I had to be the support while the rest of our world collapsed at our feet, threatening to rip our lives apart before swallowing us whole. Gavin may never understand or acknowledge my help, but that’s all okay with me as long as he’s safe.
We were no longer wealthy. That truth will inevitably affect him, though he’d shown little care so far. He got to keep most of his stuff and he still had his best friend, Nick, to talk to on his game. That’s why his face remained attached to the screen. But I knew the bomb would drop tomorrow when we were forced into our new life like chum wrapped around a bait stick. I was a senior in high school. I knew how it all worked. I’d been a shark too often to ignore something so definite. Even though Gavin was in middle school, he should know the drill, too. Anyone new always faced the shark tank, rich or poor. Sometimes the bigger the fish, the worse off it was because no one wanted to surrender their top spot to a new student whose reputation was bigger than their own. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to worry about that here. Today’s agenda would help.
“Are you sure you
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