"You're eating meat aren’t you. I can
hear it in your voice. You're tired. Are you having sex too?"
I cough, "Willow, Jeeze."
"Don’t try lying to me. Just tell me what's been
going on. I can hear it in your voice. Your chi is down. It's
bogged."
"Is it still that boy you liked? That Wicker or
Whilom or whatever? Did you have sex with him?"
I burst into tears, "Wyatt. I love him still and
I don’t know why. Something is wrong with me. I can't make it stop.
He doesn’t talk to me." I heave slightly, "I can't get him out of
my head. He was cruel to me and I can't get over him. He's over me
and I'm a feeble weak loser."
"Nene. You're not a loser. You just love with
more than regular people. Baby girl you need to come home. Want me
to come get you now? Did you have sex?"
"NO GOD! I NEVER HAD SEX! Er, with him."
"Okay, okay. Calm your energy Nene. Just take a
breath. How about next weekend? You want to come home next
weekend?"
"Okay. Fine. Can we drop the sex thing
though?"
I can hear her smile, "Yes. Yes we can. I just
worry so much. I hate that this boy has hurt you. I love you."
I sniffle, "I love you too."
"I'm sorry."
I cry softly, "I know. Me too. I didn’t mean to
yell. I'm just, I don’t know."
"I'll come get you next Friday afternoon
okay?"
"Yup."
"Is that all?"
"No I ate meat."
She sighs again, "I knew it. How much?"
I cringe. It's better than telling her about the
sex so I tell the truth. "Everyday."
"Rayne Willow Whynde what are you thinking? You
need to stop that and restart the meditation and the poses. Don’t
forget the sixth one. I can tell you're not doing it enough." Or at
all.
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I love you Nene."
"Love you too mommy." I hang up the phone and
feel a little better. I'm still exhausted all the time and
sometimes the dead whisper to me for no reason and my eyes glow,
but I feel better. I have confessed half of the crap I've been
doing. Next week I'll tell her about the sex. I vow no more sex. At
least until I tell her.
I pull on the vampire costume and paint my lips
black. I decide on a Gothic vampire. My dark hair suits it. I don’t
even realize I'm doing my makeup in the dark until Mona and
Michelle come in, and the light from the hallway filters in.
"You in here?"
I put the makeup down. "Yup. Just woke up."
When they flick on the lights they both
frown.
Mona looks at my makeup, "You're doing shit in
the dark again?"
I nod and stammer, "Y-yeah. Uhm, trying to get
in the gothic mood."
They don’t look like they bought it.
Neither does the Asian girl I don’t know, who is
with them. Mona grabs the red wig and the glasses and passes them
to the Asian girl. She pulls them on. I turn back to the mirror and
finish my makeup. Michelle is Michelle Pfeiffer and Mona is Cher.
The three of them look awesome and sexy.
"You look creepy."
I smile at Mona and flash my huge fangs. They're
the real looking kind that fit onto your teeth snug. I used plaster
to mold them.
Michelle looks at me, "All that fabric and
you'll still be the most popular girl at the bar."
It's true. I'm cursed. I believe it. Ever since
that stupid waitress flashed her red eyes at me and the weird
dreams have gotten worse, I've been like a dude magnet. A gay guy
Michelle knows hit on me last week. I can't walk into the bar
without guys offering me drinks or dances or whole tables.
I look at myself and nod. I'm wearing long black
pants with a black tank top and a cape. I don’t have bare skin
except my face, which is covered in white makeup and bloodstains
and masses of black eyeliner. I look scary and creepy and I will
still be turning them away.
We leave the room and walk to the Asian girl in
the Susan Sarandon costume's car. She drives us to the bar. I feel
anxious and excited to party. I like partying now. I leave a club
feeling good for days. The beat of the music and the energy makes
me high. I don’t even really have to drink anymore. One or two but
that’s it. Otherwise I
hear it in your voice. You're tired. Are you having sex too?"
I cough, "Willow, Jeeze."
"Don’t try lying to me. Just tell me what's been
going on. I can hear it in your voice. Your chi is down. It's
bogged."
"Is it still that boy you liked? That Wicker or
Whilom or whatever? Did you have sex with him?"
I burst into tears, "Wyatt. I love him still and
I don’t know why. Something is wrong with me. I can't make it stop.
He doesn’t talk to me." I heave slightly, "I can't get him out of
my head. He was cruel to me and I can't get over him. He's over me
and I'm a feeble weak loser."
"Nene. You're not a loser. You just love with
more than regular people. Baby girl you need to come home. Want me
to come get you now? Did you have sex?"
"NO GOD! I NEVER HAD SEX! Er, with him."
"Okay, okay. Calm your energy Nene. Just take a
breath. How about next weekend? You want to come home next
weekend?"
"Okay. Fine. Can we drop the sex thing
though?"
I can hear her smile, "Yes. Yes we can. I just
worry so much. I hate that this boy has hurt you. I love you."
I sniffle, "I love you too."
"I'm sorry."
I cry softly, "I know. Me too. I didn’t mean to
yell. I'm just, I don’t know."
"I'll come get you next Friday afternoon
okay?"
"Yup."
"Is that all?"
"No I ate meat."
She sighs again, "I knew it. How much?"
I cringe. It's better than telling her about the
sex so I tell the truth. "Everyday."
"Rayne Willow Whynde what are you thinking? You
need to stop that and restart the meditation and the poses. Don’t
forget the sixth one. I can tell you're not doing it enough." Or at
all.
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I love you Nene."
"Love you too mommy." I hang up the phone and
feel a little better. I'm still exhausted all the time and
sometimes the dead whisper to me for no reason and my eyes glow,
but I feel better. I have confessed half of the crap I've been
doing. Next week I'll tell her about the sex. I vow no more sex. At
least until I tell her.
I pull on the vampire costume and paint my lips
black. I decide on a Gothic vampire. My dark hair suits it. I don’t
even realize I'm doing my makeup in the dark until Mona and
Michelle come in, and the light from the hallway filters in.
"You in here?"
I put the makeup down. "Yup. Just woke up."
When they flick on the lights they both
frown.
Mona looks at my makeup, "You're doing shit in
the dark again?"
I nod and stammer, "Y-yeah. Uhm, trying to get
in the gothic mood."
They don’t look like they bought it.
Neither does the Asian girl I don’t know, who is
with them. Mona grabs the red wig and the glasses and passes them
to the Asian girl. She pulls them on. I turn back to the mirror and
finish my makeup. Michelle is Michelle Pfeiffer and Mona is Cher.
The three of them look awesome and sexy.
"You look creepy."
I smile at Mona and flash my huge fangs. They're
the real looking kind that fit onto your teeth snug. I used plaster
to mold them.
Michelle looks at me, "All that fabric and
you'll still be the most popular girl at the bar."
It's true. I'm cursed. I believe it. Ever since
that stupid waitress flashed her red eyes at me and the weird
dreams have gotten worse, I've been like a dude magnet. A gay guy
Michelle knows hit on me last week. I can't walk into the bar
without guys offering me drinks or dances or whole tables.
I look at myself and nod. I'm wearing long black
pants with a black tank top and a cape. I don’t have bare skin
except my face, which is covered in white makeup and bloodstains
and masses of black eyeliner. I look scary and creepy and I will
still be turning them away.
We leave the room and walk to the Asian girl in
the Susan Sarandon costume's car. She drives us to the bar. I feel
anxious and excited to party. I like partying now. I leave a club
feeling good for days. The beat of the music and the energy makes
me high. I don’t even really have to drink anymore. One or two but
that’s it. Otherwise I
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