jerks.â
She sighed quietly. âIâm sorry I wasnât here.â
When he didnât answer, she walked to the stairs and began to climb.
â¢Â   â¢Â   â¢
L iv undressed and slid under her sheets, raising the hem of her nightgown enough to let the cool cotton slide over her thighs and stomach. In the tree outside her window, a bird fluttered in the branches, rustling with alarm. Maybe she wasnât the only one in this suffocating night who searched for flight.
Her heart knocked around her chest like loose change. She closed her eyes, letting memories of the evening return. Losing herself in all those slides. Standing up in the auditorium, debating with Dr. Harold Warner, feeling so smart and fierce in that safe, quiet dark. Then the way Sam Felder had looked at her when the lights came up, the admiration in his warm brown eyes. He believed she was outspoken, freethinking. Maybe even bold when she wanted to be. What would he have thought if heâd seen her creep into her fatherâs house likea scared fourteen-year-old girl whoâd missed curfew, not a twenty-one-year-old woman who should have been free to stay out for as long as she wanted, with whomever she wanted?
She rolled onto her back and stared up at the unmoving fan blades, shame washing over her.
At the party, sheâd watched students drink and laugh and flirt without any concern for clocks or schedules. God, what was that like? Just the other day sheâd met a junior named Amy whoâd boasted of overnights at her boyfriendâs off-campus apartment and the diner down the block where they regularly gorged on pumpkin pancakes at three in the morning.
Three in the morning.
Just the thought of it had made Livâs heart flood with envy.
She turned onto her side and listened to the familiar creaks of her father finally leaving his window post and climbing the stairs, the soft click of his door closing, then the hush of nothingness. Through her screen, the night crackled suddenly with sound, somehow louder now. She wasnât tired. Not even a little. Her pulse raced beneath her skin. Everywhere she touched, her neck, her hip, her knee, she could feel her heartbeat.
âAll explorers face risk. . . .â
She could say she was going away with her class, that it was required for a grade. Yes, it was last minute, but she wouldnât be far and sheâd have her phone with her, in case of emergencies. She could say whatever she needed to say to get away. Her father could manage for two days without her. Surely he could.
Yes. Yes, he could.
We canât call ourselves explorers if we never go anywhere, can we?
âNo, we canât,â Liv whispered into the darkness.
When sheâd come out of the party, sheâd squinted into the misty night and felt the knot of dread twist behind her ribs not to see Sam and Whit right away, sure theyâd changed their minds at the last minute and abandoned her, that this was what she got for pretending to be someone she wasnât.
Then sheâd seen them, two figures just beyond the edge of the streetlight, and her fisted heart had unfurled. Sam Felder stepping inside the bright globe and waving to signal her, solid and sure. And behind him, Whit, a tall mass of black except for the tiny orange dot of a cigarette tip, glowing and fading with each drag. Blinking like a lighthouse beacon, Liv had thought. But God help the woman who steered her boat toward Whit Crosbyâs rockyshore.
4
TOPSAIL ISLAND, NORTH CAROLINA
Wednesday
T he remnants of overnight clouds stretch across the dawn sky, wispy and thinning like strands of cotton candy, and Whit is glad to see them.
Heâs slept poorly, but itâs always this way the night before a dive. Excitement and anticipation race through his head like sugared-up kids stuck inside on a rainy day; his brain wonât shut off. But itâs not just his head thatâs
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