Read Online The Ladies' Man by Elinor Lipman - Free Book Online Page B

laughs.”
    Nash says, “I want to pay any and all of your medical bills.”
    â€œThat’s ridiculous. I have insurance. Besides, they don’t do anything for a broken rib. It heals itself.”
    Richard says, “He saved your life today. Maybe
you
can’t say thank you, but I can.”
    Adele says without expression, “Thank you for saving my life. My brother is very grateful.” She turns to Richard. “Where did you park?”
    He points out the plate-glass window to a cylindrical garage and says he’ll bring the car around.
    â€œDon’t be ridiculous. I’m not an invalid.”
    Nash asks Richard, “Don’t you have to work? Don’t you have subpoenas to deliver?”
    Richard says, “Yes, but—”
    â€œWe’ll take a taxi,” says Nash. “If that’s okay with your sister.”
    â€œIt won’t be,” says Richard.
    Adele sits on an adjacent green chair, wincing. “I have no say in anything, apparently. You two work it out. I just want to go home and forget this ever happened.”
    â€œAt least she’s given up the return-to-work crusade,” says Richard.
    â€œI have to call them,” says Adele. “They’ll think I fell under a train.”
    â€œI’ll call,” says Richard.
    â€œAnd say what?”
    Richard knows what she’d like him to say:
I came down with something at lunch. I had to go to the emergency room
. “It’s best to tell them exactly what happened,” he says. “They’re your friends. They should know you almost choked to death, and now you have a broken rib, in case someone wants to wrap you in a bear hug when you get back.”
    â€œUnlikely.”
    â€œNear-death experiences,” Nash says solemnly, “are the kinds of things that can change a person’s whole outlook. People leave jobs, marriages, go start new cults. Books have been written on such topics.”
    â€œWhole hours on
Larry King Live
have been devoted to such survival stories,” says her brother.
    Adele says, “I don’t find either of you remotely funny.”
    Nash is skilled at reducing chapters of his history to short paragraphs. “Her name was Dina,” he narrates on the short taxi ride back to the Dobbin apartment. “We stayed together much longer than was good for either one of us.”
    â€œThen what?” asks Adele.
    â€œThat’s it. There’s no more to tell.”
    â€œI meant, Did you get your own place? Did you move onto a friend’s couch? Did she?”
    â€œOh, you mean real estate. Of course I let Dina have the house. She’s what they call a reflexologist—she massages feet for a living—and she has an office there, and a big table. Also, she wouldn’t have to change her phone number or get new cards printed up.”
    Adele leans forward, holding her side and a five-dollar bill, to tell the driver that it’s the apartment building with the slate face, just ahead on the left.
    â€œI’ll take you up,” says Nash. “I promised Richard.” He rushes around to her side, opens her door, and extends his hand. Adele ignores it. He takes her elbow just the same.
    She says, “If it appears to you that I’m being hospitable, I’m not. I’m waiting to hear the rest of your life’s story, and since you haven’t told me one damn thing that explains why you ran away and why you came back, I figure this might be an opportunity to interrogate you.”
    â€œI welcome it,” says Nash.
    â€œI expect my sisters will turn up before long. I’d like you to be gone by then.”
    â€œOf course,” says Nash.
    â€œYou have a way of charming people,” says Adele. “I seem to be the only one immune to it, but I don’t think my sisters will be. If you’re here when Kathleen comes home, she’ll be weepy with gratitude and invite you to