Read Online The Illusion of Annabella by Jessica Sorensen - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jessica Sorensen
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life.
He scowls at me. “Do you realize how much trouble you’re in? God, you’re going to have to go to court, and since this isn’t you’re first time getting into trouble, they’re not going to go easy on you.” He shakes his head, puffing out a frustrated breath. “You’re grounded.”
“Okay.” My simple response seems to rile him up more, which wasn’t my intention.
“I’m being serious. No going out unless it’s to therapy. And no more hanging out with Miller.” He grits his teeth. “I know he played a huge part in this, even if you won’t admit it.”
I bite my tongue until I taste blood, but silence has nothing to do with Miller. I’m not even sure how I feel about him now. Never really did. He was supposed to be an escape from my life, the opposite of the kind, caring boys that I used to want to spend time with. I knew who he was when I met him, that chivalry wasn’t his thing. When he bailed to save his own ass, he was only being himself, which is more than I can say about me.
“Did you hear anything I just said?” Loki asks, growing even more frustrated when my lips remained fused. I want to say something, but I can’t figure out what the right thing is. Right and wrong? Do I even know the difference anymore? “Goddammit. I can’t take this anymore.” Jerking the keys out of the ignition, he shoves open the door.
I feel bad for upsetting him, but I also feel so hollow. Empty. Dead inside, rotting like corpse.
I silently wait for him to get out of the car. Knowing Loki, he’ll storm into the house and lock himself in his room until he cools off. Maybe by tomorrow, I can figure out something to say.
But he pauses before getting out, throwing me for a loop.
“I hate to say this, because I know how much it hurts you when I bring up Mom and Dad,” he mutters with his back to me, “but they’d be so disappointed in you.” His final words before he storms into the house.
Sorrow, rage, remorse, and so much more clips through my shield of numbness, and pain engulfs me. He’s right. If my parents were alive, they’d be so disappointed in me, and as much as I hate that it does, their opinion matters a lot—even my mom’s.
No longer wanting to feel the aching sadness, I punch the side of my leg until the muscles are sore, until physical pain overpowers the emotional pain. Then I get out of the car and drag my leg behind me as I head up the driveway.
As I near the back door, a muffled voice catches my attention. It’s past midnight and the rest of the neighborhood is fast asleep. More curious than I want to be, I grip onto the railing and crane my neck to peer into the new neighbor’s yard.
Someone is sitting on the porch beneath the deck light, talking on the phone. The voice is low, baritone, and doesn’t belong to Tammy or Luca.
“Look, you can’t call here anymore,” he says in a low tone. “I know. I know. But that was the deal—that’s why we moved here.” He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and lowers his head. “Fine. I’ll send you more money, but I have to go now. Please don’t call here anymore.”
He hangs up and stares at the road with his phone clutched in his hands. Moments later, his body starts to shake as he sobs.
About two months ago, I caught Loki doing something similar. It was late at night and I was trying to sneak out of the house when I saw Loki crying on the back deck. He didn’t know I was standing in the shadows, spying on him. I haven’t really cried since the accident and seeing Loki so openly emotional like that made me uncomfortable, more with myself than anything, because I can’t seem to cry anymore, let myself feel the pain. It’s been so long since I let it all out that I wonder if maybe my tears are broken.
I figured he was crying over our parents, but I found out the next morning that his girlfriend of three years dumped him, said she
He scowls at me. “Do you realize how much trouble you’re in? God, you’re going to have to go to court, and since this isn’t you’re first time getting into trouble, they’re not going to go easy on you.” He shakes his head, puffing out a frustrated breath. “You’re grounded.”
“Okay.” My simple response seems to rile him up more, which wasn’t my intention.
“I’m being serious. No going out unless it’s to therapy. And no more hanging out with Miller.” He grits his teeth. “I know he played a huge part in this, even if you won’t admit it.”
I bite my tongue until I taste blood, but silence has nothing to do with Miller. I’m not even sure how I feel about him now. Never really did. He was supposed to be an escape from my life, the opposite of the kind, caring boys that I used to want to spend time with. I knew who he was when I met him, that chivalry wasn’t his thing. When he bailed to save his own ass, he was only being himself, which is more than I can say about me.
“Did you hear anything I just said?” Loki asks, growing even more frustrated when my lips remained fused. I want to say something, but I can’t figure out what the right thing is. Right and wrong? Do I even know the difference anymore? “Goddammit. I can’t take this anymore.” Jerking the keys out of the ignition, he shoves open the door.
I feel bad for upsetting him, but I also feel so hollow. Empty. Dead inside, rotting like corpse.
I silently wait for him to get out of the car. Knowing Loki, he’ll storm into the house and lock himself in his room until he cools off. Maybe by tomorrow, I can figure out something to say.
But he pauses before getting out, throwing me for a loop.
“I hate to say this, because I know how much it hurts you when I bring up Mom and Dad,” he mutters with his back to me, “but they’d be so disappointed in you.” His final words before he storms into the house.
Sorrow, rage, remorse, and so much more clips through my shield of numbness, and pain engulfs me. He’s right. If my parents were alive, they’d be so disappointed in me, and as much as I hate that it does, their opinion matters a lot—even my mom’s.
No longer wanting to feel the aching sadness, I punch the side of my leg until the muscles are sore, until physical pain overpowers the emotional pain. Then I get out of the car and drag my leg behind me as I head up the driveway.
As I near the back door, a muffled voice catches my attention. It’s past midnight and the rest of the neighborhood is fast asleep. More curious than I want to be, I grip onto the railing and crane my neck to peer into the new neighbor’s yard.
Someone is sitting on the porch beneath the deck light, talking on the phone. The voice is low, baritone, and doesn’t belong to Tammy or Luca.
“Look, you can’t call here anymore,” he says in a low tone. “I know. I know. But that was the deal—that’s why we moved here.” He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and lowers his head. “Fine. I’ll send you more money, but I have to go now. Please don’t call here anymore.”
He hangs up and stares at the road with his phone clutched in his hands. Moments later, his body starts to shake as he sobs.
About two months ago, I caught Loki doing something similar. It was late at night and I was trying to sneak out of the house when I saw Loki crying on the back deck. He didn’t know I was standing in the shadows, spying on him. I haven’t really cried since the accident and seeing Loki so openly emotional like that made me uncomfortable, more with myself than anything, because I can’t seem to cry anymore, let myself feel the pain. It’s been so long since I let it all out that I wonder if maybe my tears are broken.
I figured he was crying over our parents, but I found out the next morning that his girlfriend of three years dumped him, said she
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