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Authors: Jessica Sorensen
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Hanging on the wall on the second floor is a large portrait of a family of four sitting on a beach, smiling in the sunshine. They all look so happy. There’s a similar picture of my family back at my house. We appear happy. Do they realize life isn’t all sunshine?
As some of the numbness evaporates from my body, anger ignites like thunder and lightning. Trembling with rage, I snatch the picture from the wall and chuck it as hard as I can at the bottom of the stairway. Glass shatters all over the marble floor like raindrops. I want to forget about all of it. The lies. The pain. The anger I always feel toward her. Why can’t I just forget?
Miller runs back to the stairs, panting heavily and looking scared out of his damn mind. “What the hell was that?”
“A picture fell off the wall,” I lie, gripping onto the banister as I battle to calm the fuck down.
Miller glances from me to the broken picture at bottom of the stairs and opens his mouth to say something. But the sound of sirens cuts him off.
“Shit. We have to go.” He pushes by me, bumping me into the wall, and sprints down the stairway.
“I can’t move that fast,” I hiss in a panic, dragging my leg along with me like the useless limb it is.
By the time I’ve made it two steps down the stairway, he’s already to the foyer.
He skids to a halt in front of the door, his gaze darting between the flashing lights out the window and me. “I’m sorry,” he says in a panic, then takes off, leaving me to fend for myself.
I don’t know why I’m surprised, but I am, as if I’ve regressed back into that naïve girl who believed that pots of gold really are at the end of rainbows—that all people are good. That danced around her room and dreamt of kissing her crush at her birthday party.
Having no other choice, I pick up the pace, but by the time I make it to the bottom of the stairs, the front door swings opens.
With the wind howling behind him, an officer barrels inside with a gun in his hand and his eyes locked on me. “Put your hands up,” he orders.
I do what he says and put my hands in the air. I wait to be cuffed, knowing I should be afraid—that that’s how I’m supposed to feel. But through the alcohol still swimming in my veins, I can’t feel the fear.
Can’t feel anything at all.
Chapter Five
No More Tears
Miller got caught anyway, and we both end up being hauled down the driveway by officers.
Hands cuffed behind his back and jeans covered in mud, he’s forced toward one of the three police cars parked out front. Neighbors have gathered to watch the scene. I wonder if any of them know me, if they’ve ever seen me in town at holiday gatherings in the park.
“I’m so sorry, Anna. I just didn’t know what to do,” Miller pleads with me as an officer guides him into the backseat.
I concentrate on the raindrops streaming down the glass until the officer drives toward town. I know I’m in a ton of trouble, way more than I ever have been.
I spend the next two hours trying to figure out how I feel about what happened. I want to feel indifferent, but under the sea of numbness, I still care that I’m ruining what’s left of my life and putting more stress on Loki. He’s always been a great big brother and like my father, he doesn’t deserve to be treated like crap.
When Loki shows up at the police station to pick me up, he’s wavering between disappointment and anger. He hardly says more than three words during the drive home and only acknowledges my existence when he parks the truck and shuts the headlights off.
His jaw is set tight as he strangles the steering wheel. “I have no idea what the heck to say to you,” he says quietly.
“Me either,” I mumble as I stare up at the stars. Oddly enough, after all the rain, the night sky is crystal clear, the calm after the storm.
If only that were true in
Hanging on the wall on the second floor is a large portrait of a family of four sitting on a beach, smiling in the sunshine. They all look so happy. There’s a similar picture of my family back at my house. We appear happy. Do they realize life isn’t all sunshine?
As some of the numbness evaporates from my body, anger ignites like thunder and lightning. Trembling with rage, I snatch the picture from the wall and chuck it as hard as I can at the bottom of the stairway. Glass shatters all over the marble floor like raindrops. I want to forget about all of it. The lies. The pain. The anger I always feel toward her. Why can’t I just forget?
Miller runs back to the stairs, panting heavily and looking scared out of his damn mind. “What the hell was that?”
“A picture fell off the wall,” I lie, gripping onto the banister as I battle to calm the fuck down.
Miller glances from me to the broken picture at bottom of the stairs and opens his mouth to say something. But the sound of sirens cuts him off.
“Shit. We have to go.” He pushes by me, bumping me into the wall, and sprints down the stairway.
“I can’t move that fast,” I hiss in a panic, dragging my leg along with me like the useless limb it is.
By the time I’ve made it two steps down the stairway, he’s already to the foyer.
He skids to a halt in front of the door, his gaze darting between the flashing lights out the window and me. “I’m sorry,” he says in a panic, then takes off, leaving me to fend for myself.
I don’t know why I’m surprised, but I am, as if I’ve regressed back into that naïve girl who believed that pots of gold really are at the end of rainbows—that all people are good. That danced around her room and dreamt of kissing her crush at her birthday party.
Having no other choice, I pick up the pace, but by the time I make it to the bottom of the stairs, the front door swings opens.
With the wind howling behind him, an officer barrels inside with a gun in his hand and his eyes locked on me. “Put your hands up,” he orders.
I do what he says and put my hands in the air. I wait to be cuffed, knowing I should be afraid—that that’s how I’m supposed to feel. But through the alcohol still swimming in my veins, I can’t feel the fear.
Can’t feel anything at all.
Chapter Five
No More Tears
Miller got caught anyway, and we both end up being hauled down the driveway by officers.
Hands cuffed behind his back and jeans covered in mud, he’s forced toward one of the three police cars parked out front. Neighbors have gathered to watch the scene. I wonder if any of them know me, if they’ve ever seen me in town at holiday gatherings in the park.
“I’m so sorry, Anna. I just didn’t know what to do,” Miller pleads with me as an officer guides him into the backseat.
I concentrate on the raindrops streaming down the glass until the officer drives toward town. I know I’m in a ton of trouble, way more than I ever have been.
I spend the next two hours trying to figure out how I feel about what happened. I want to feel indifferent, but under the sea of numbness, I still care that I’m ruining what’s left of my life and putting more stress on Loki. He’s always been a great big brother and like my father, he doesn’t deserve to be treated like crap.
When Loki shows up at the police station to pick me up, he’s wavering between disappointment and anger. He hardly says more than three words during the drive home and only acknowledges my existence when he parks the truck and shuts the headlights off.
His jaw is set tight as he strangles the steering wheel. “I have no idea what the heck to say to you,” he says quietly.
“Me either,” I mumble as I stare up at the stars. Oddly enough, after all the rain, the night sky is crystal clear, the calm after the storm.
If only that were true in
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