Read Online The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus by Sonya Sones - Free Book Online

outside her window.
    â€œIt’s awe some!” she says.
    Then she holds the phone out
    so that we can hear the rumble rocking the air.
    She holds the phone out
    so that we
    can be there…
    I don’t get it.
    Why do I feel so homesick
    when she’s the one so far from home?

A CHAT WITH DR. HACK
    â€œWhy don’t you give me the good news first?” I say.
    I’m trying for sarcasm, but it seems
    he’s mistaken it for an affectionate jibe
    because there’s that chuckle of his—
    the one that makes me feel as if
    my skin’s being rubbed off with a grater.
    He says he’s got lots of good news today:
    my mother’s polymyositis
    appears to be in remission.
    And now that he’s managed
    to wean her off the steroids,
    she’s finally stopped hallucinating.
    I hug Secret to my chest.
    For a split second I feel as weightless
    as an astronaut in deep space.
    But then Hack nails me with the bad news:
    he says the withdrawal from the steroids
    seems to have brought on an agitated depression.
    So he’s started my mother on Prozac,
    because she’s refusing to go to rehab
    and she’s hardly eating.
    Though, he says, the good news is
    that she was twenty pounds overweight
    when she was admitted.
    So,
    chuckle, chuckle, chuckle,
    grate, grate, grate,
    a little weight loss
    might actually be
    just what the doctor ordered.
    â€œOh, and when I saw her today,” he adds,
    â€œshe did mention suicide—but only in passing.
    We’re keeping an extra close eye on her, though.”

UNITED FLIGHT #3534
    I’m hurtling toward Cleveland
    at five hundred miles per hour.
    A few minutes ago,
    right before the plane took off,
    Laura’s mother
    called me on my cell.
    â€œI seem to have started a trend,” she said.
    â€œNow Wendy’s parents are getting divorced!”
    Which is why
    as I sit here gripping the armrests,
    listening to a trio of howling babies
    bawling with utter abandon,
    I’m thinking how good
    it would feel to toss back my head,
    fling open my mouth,
    and join them.

THE VISIT
    I show up at the hospital
    armed with a bouquet of yellow tulips,
    a stack of cooking magazines,
    and a batch of Sam’s defrosted brownies.
    I peek into my mother’s room
    and feel my stomach tighten.
    That woman in there looks like
    someone else’s mother—
    her cheeks are withered apples,
    her eyes frightened and much bigger
    than they should be.
    Even her nose seems to have grown.
    She’s sitting up in bed,
    wringing her hands,
    her hair
    a tangled gray tornado.
    As soon as she sees me,
    she starts moaning my name.
    Then she bursts into tears.
    So I do, too.
    But when I wrap my arms around her,
    she quiets like a small child.
    â€œI’m so glad you’re here,” she whispers.
    â€œI am, too,” I whisper back.
    Then I offer her a butterscotch brownie,
    which she politely declines.
    I arrange the tulips in a pitcher,
    find her brush, and try to tame her hair.
    â€œTell me how you’ve been,” she says.
    A wave of relief washes over me—
    and suddenly I want to tell her every thing.
    I’d climb right into her lap if I could.
    But as soon as I start pouring it all out,
    telling her about my troubles with Michael—
    she interrupts me.
    â€œNow tell me about the brownies.”
    So I begin to tell her that Samantha
    baked them especially for her—
    but she interrupts me again.
    â€œNow tell me how you’ve been.”
    So I start talking about how worried I am
    that I’ll never be able to finish my book—
    but she interrupts me again.
    â€œNow tell me about the brownies.”
    So I try one more time,
    but I’ve barely begun—
    when she interrupts me again.
    â€œNow tell me how you’ve been.”
    And all the while
    the woman in the next bed
    is quietly chanting,
    â€œHelp me, God. Help me, God…”
    Help me, God.

MY MOTHER FINALLY NODS OFF
    I rush out into the hall