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Authors: Christopher Healy
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kumquats.”
Liam walked away without a word, got on his horse, and headed back to Erinthia, where he gave word that he would be addressing the people that afternoon.
The citizens of Erinthia gathered by the thousands outside the royal palace, all eyes on the gold-trimmed marble balcony overhead, from which their prince would soon be addressing them. Applause broke out as a set of stained-glass doors opened wide and Liam strode out to greet the crowd. He wore a billowy blue tunic with black pants tucked into brown leather boots; there was a sword at his side, and a wine-colored cape fluttering behind him in the breeze. Before he spoke, Liam took a moment to gaze on the wildly enthusiastic audience below. Who needs a wife , he thought, when I’ve got all these devoted fans?
Liam’s mother and father, Queen Gertrude and King Gareth, stepped out onto the balcony behind him. They were followed by Liam’s twelve-year-old sister, Princess Lila, who ran up and gave Liam a quick smooch on the cheek before retreating to the back of the balcony. Lila, who wore her chestnut hair in loose, dangly ringlets and liked to roll up the sleeves on the elegant gowns her parents forced her to wear, might have been young, but she was Liam’s closest confidante—and the only person in Erinthia who appreciated Liam for his actual good deeds. Yet even she didn’t know why Liam had scheduled this appearance.
The king tapped Liam on the shoulder. “We are all eager to hear your big announcement,” Gareth said, hoping that Liam had decided to honeymoon in Valerium as he and the queen had suggested. The lobster rolls were so good there this time of year. “I wanted to have Tyrese here to record it all, but no one seems to know where he is at the moment.”
“Don’t worry about the bard, Father,” Liam said. “I’ll make this quick.”
He faced the crowd.
“People of Erinthia,” the prince said. The din of voices below hushed. “Thank you for coming out today. And thank you for all the kindness you have shown me and my family.” He gestured to his parents, and the crowd erupted into applause again. As soon as the noise died down, Liam continued.
“I’ve got some important news about the royal wedding.”
“Will there be cheesecake?” someone shouted.
“No, I’m sorry. No cheesecake. Actually—”
“Will you be taking your vows in a hot-air balloon?” another voice called out.
“No, of course not. Why would someone do that? So, about the wedding—”
“Will there be little sausages on toothpicks and a choice of dipping sauces?” yet another person yelled.
“No.”
“What about cheesecake?”
“I already said there’d be no cheesecake. Look, people, please let me—”
“Will you ride up the aisle on a unicorn?”
“There’s not going to be any wedding!” the prince blurted out. The entire crowd gasped in near unison, as did the king and queen. “I’m sorry. But that’s what I’ve called you all here to tell you. The wedding is off. Princess Briar Rose and I have discussed the matter, and we’ve decided that we’re better off just as friends.” No matter how much he disliked Briar, he didn’t want to bad-mouth her to his people.
As the citizenry murmured with agitation, the king skittered forward, next to his son, and addressed the crowd. “Ha-ha. Oh, that Liam. Your prince is just joshing with us all.”
“No, Father, I’m not,” said Liam. “I’m serious.”
“I told you’d he’d eventually ruin everything,” Queen Gertrude griped bitterly. “He was always too much of a Goody Two-shoes.”
“Listen,” said Liam. “Briar and I just aren’t right for each other.”
“But you love her!” the king shouted, his thick mustache fluttering as he spoke.
“No, I don’t,” Liam said plainly.
“You kissed her and broke the spell,” the queen insisted. “True love’s kiss!”
“I don’t think that’s how it worked,” Liam said with a sigh. “I think anybody’s kiss
Liam walked away without a word, got on his horse, and headed back to Erinthia, where he gave word that he would be addressing the people that afternoon.
The citizens of Erinthia gathered by the thousands outside the royal palace, all eyes on the gold-trimmed marble balcony overhead, from which their prince would soon be addressing them. Applause broke out as a set of stained-glass doors opened wide and Liam strode out to greet the crowd. He wore a billowy blue tunic with black pants tucked into brown leather boots; there was a sword at his side, and a wine-colored cape fluttering behind him in the breeze. Before he spoke, Liam took a moment to gaze on the wildly enthusiastic audience below. Who needs a wife , he thought, when I’ve got all these devoted fans?
Liam’s mother and father, Queen Gertrude and King Gareth, stepped out onto the balcony behind him. They were followed by Liam’s twelve-year-old sister, Princess Lila, who ran up and gave Liam a quick smooch on the cheek before retreating to the back of the balcony. Lila, who wore her chestnut hair in loose, dangly ringlets and liked to roll up the sleeves on the elegant gowns her parents forced her to wear, might have been young, but she was Liam’s closest confidante—and the only person in Erinthia who appreciated Liam for his actual good deeds. Yet even she didn’t know why Liam had scheduled this appearance.
The king tapped Liam on the shoulder. “We are all eager to hear your big announcement,” Gareth said, hoping that Liam had decided to honeymoon in Valerium as he and the queen had suggested. The lobster rolls were so good there this time of year. “I wanted to have Tyrese here to record it all, but no one seems to know where he is at the moment.”
“Don’t worry about the bard, Father,” Liam said. “I’ll make this quick.”
He faced the crowd.
“People of Erinthia,” the prince said. The din of voices below hushed. “Thank you for coming out today. And thank you for all the kindness you have shown me and my family.” He gestured to his parents, and the crowd erupted into applause again. As soon as the noise died down, Liam continued.
“I’ve got some important news about the royal wedding.”
“Will there be cheesecake?” someone shouted.
“No, I’m sorry. No cheesecake. Actually—”
“Will you be taking your vows in a hot-air balloon?” another voice called out.
“No, of course not. Why would someone do that? So, about the wedding—”
“Will there be little sausages on toothpicks and a choice of dipping sauces?” yet another person yelled.
“No.”
“What about cheesecake?”
“I already said there’d be no cheesecake. Look, people, please let me—”
“Will you ride up the aisle on a unicorn?”
“There’s not going to be any wedding!” the prince blurted out. The entire crowd gasped in near unison, as did the king and queen. “I’m sorry. But that’s what I’ve called you all here to tell you. The wedding is off. Princess Briar Rose and I have discussed the matter, and we’ve decided that we’re better off just as friends.” No matter how much he disliked Briar, he didn’t want to bad-mouth her to his people.
As the citizenry murmured with agitation, the king skittered forward, next to his son, and addressed the crowd. “Ha-ha. Oh, that Liam. Your prince is just joshing with us all.”
“No, Father, I’m not,” said Liam. “I’m serious.”
“I told you’d he’d eventually ruin everything,” Queen Gertrude griped bitterly. “He was always too much of a Goody Two-shoes.”
“Listen,” said Liam. “Briar and I just aren’t right for each other.”
“But you love her!” the king shouted, his thick mustache fluttering as he spoke.
“No, I don’t,” Liam said plainly.
“You kissed her and broke the spell,” the queen insisted. “True love’s kiss!”
“I don’t think that’s how it worked,” Liam said with a sigh. “I think anybody’s kiss
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