inadequate.
She pushed away from him. “Anthony Bondelli, the attorney—we’ve hired him. He wants to talk to you. I… I told him about your report on… father—the time he turned in the false fire alarm.” Her face crumpled. “Oh, Andy—why did you go away? I needed you. We needed you.”
“Ruth… your father wouldn’t take any help from me.”
“I know. He hated you… because of… what you said. But he still needed you.”
“Nobody listened to me, Ruth. He was too important a man for…”
“Bondelli thinks you can help with the insanity plea. He asked me to see you, to…” She shrugged, pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, wiped her cheeks.
So that’s it, Thurlow thought. She’s making up to me to get my help, buying my help!
He turned away to hide his sudden anger and the pain. For a moment, his eyes didn’t focus, then he grew aware (quite slowly, it seemed) of a subtle Brownian movement at the edge of the grove. It was like a swarm of gnats, but unlike them too. His glasses. Where were his glasses? In the car! The gnats dissolved away upward. Their retreat coincided with the lifting of an odd pressure from his senses, as though a sound or something like a sound had been wearing on his nerves, but now was gone.
“You will help?” Ruth asked.
Was that the same sort of thing I saw at Murphey’s window? Thurlow asked himself. What is it?
Ruth took a step nearer, looked up at his profile. “Bondelli thought—because of us—you might… hesitate.”
The damned pleading in her voice! His mind replayed her question. He said: “Yes, I’ll help any way I can.”
“That man… in the jail is just a shell,” she said. Her voice was low, flat, almost without expression. He looked down at her, seeing how her features drew inward as she spoke. “He’s not my father. He just looks like my father. My father’s dead. He’s been dead… for a long time. We didn’t realize it… that’s all.”
God! How pitiful she looked!
“I’ll do everything I can,” he said, “but…”
“I know there isn’t much hope,” she said. “I know how they feel—the people. It was my mother this man killed.”
“People sense he’s insane,” Thurlow said, his voice unconsciously taking a pedantic tone. “They know it from the way he talks—from what he did. Insanity is, unfortunately, a communicable disease. He’s aroused a counter-insanity. He’s an irritant the community wants removed. He raises questions about themselves that people can’t answer.”
“We shouldn’t be talking about him,” she said. “Not here.” She looked around the grove. “But I have to talk about him—or go crazy.”
“That’s quite natural,” he said, his voice carefully soothing. “The disturbance he created, the community disturbance is… Damn it! Words are so stupid sometimes!”
“I know,” she said. “I can take the clinical approach, too. If my… if that man in the jail should be judged insane and sent to a mental hospital, people’d have to ask themselves very disturbing questions.”
“Can a person appear sane when he’s really insane?” Thurlow said. “Can a man be insane when he thinks he’s sane? Could I be insane enough to do the things this man did?”
“I’m through crying now,” she said. She glanced up at Thurlow, looked away. “The daughter’s had her fill of… sorrow. I…” She took a deep breath. “I can… hate… for the way my mother died. But I’m still a psychiatric nurse and I know all the professional cant. None of it helps the daughter much. It’s odd—as though I were more than one person.”
Again, she looked up at Thurlow, her expression open, without any defenses. “And I can run to the man I love and ask him to take me away from here because I’m afraid… deathly afraid.”
The man I love! Her words seared his mind. He shook his head. “But… what about…”
“Nev?” How bitter she made the name sound. “I haven’t lived with Nev
She pushed away from him. “Anthony Bondelli, the attorney—we’ve hired him. He wants to talk to you. I… I told him about your report on… father—the time he turned in the false fire alarm.” Her face crumpled. “Oh, Andy—why did you go away? I needed you. We needed you.”
“Ruth… your father wouldn’t take any help from me.”
“I know. He hated you… because of… what you said. But he still needed you.”
“Nobody listened to me, Ruth. He was too important a man for…”
“Bondelli thinks you can help with the insanity plea. He asked me to see you, to…” She shrugged, pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, wiped her cheeks.
So that’s it, Thurlow thought. She’s making up to me to get my help, buying my help!
He turned away to hide his sudden anger and the pain. For a moment, his eyes didn’t focus, then he grew aware (quite slowly, it seemed) of a subtle Brownian movement at the edge of the grove. It was like a swarm of gnats, but unlike them too. His glasses. Where were his glasses? In the car! The gnats dissolved away upward. Their retreat coincided with the lifting of an odd pressure from his senses, as though a sound or something like a sound had been wearing on his nerves, but now was gone.
“You will help?” Ruth asked.
Was that the same sort of thing I saw at Murphey’s window? Thurlow asked himself. What is it?
Ruth took a step nearer, looked up at his profile. “Bondelli thought—because of us—you might… hesitate.”
The damned pleading in her voice! His mind replayed her question. He said: “Yes, I’ll help any way I can.”
“That man… in the jail is just a shell,” she said. Her voice was low, flat, almost without expression. He looked down at her, seeing how her features drew inward as she spoke. “He’s not my father. He just looks like my father. My father’s dead. He’s been dead… for a long time. We didn’t realize it… that’s all.”
God! How pitiful she looked!
“I’ll do everything I can,” he said, “but…”
“I know there isn’t much hope,” she said. “I know how they feel—the people. It was my mother this man killed.”
“People sense he’s insane,” Thurlow said, his voice unconsciously taking a pedantic tone. “They know it from the way he talks—from what he did. Insanity is, unfortunately, a communicable disease. He’s aroused a counter-insanity. He’s an irritant the community wants removed. He raises questions about themselves that people can’t answer.”
“We shouldn’t be talking about him,” she said. “Not here.” She looked around the grove. “But I have to talk about him—or go crazy.”
“That’s quite natural,” he said, his voice carefully soothing. “The disturbance he created, the community disturbance is… Damn it! Words are so stupid sometimes!”
“I know,” she said. “I can take the clinical approach, too. If my… if that man in the jail should be judged insane and sent to a mental hospital, people’d have to ask themselves very disturbing questions.”
“Can a person appear sane when he’s really insane?” Thurlow said. “Can a man be insane when he thinks he’s sane? Could I be insane enough to do the things this man did?”
“I’m through crying now,” she said. She glanced up at Thurlow, looked away. “The daughter’s had her fill of… sorrow. I…” She took a deep breath. “I can… hate… for the way my mother died. But I’m still a psychiatric nurse and I know all the professional cant. None of it helps the daughter much. It’s odd—as though I were more than one person.”
Again, she looked up at Thurlow, her expression open, without any defenses. “And I can run to the man I love and ask him to take me away from here because I’m afraid… deathly afraid.”
The man I love! Her words seared his mind. He shook his head. “But… what about…”
“Nev?” How bitter she made the name sound. “I haven’t lived with Nev
Similar Books
