Read Online The Final Exam by Gitty Daneshvari - Free Book Online
Authors: Gitty Daneshvari
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branch to branch along the perimeter of the Lost Forest.
“Do you ever miss the forest?” Lulu whispered quietly to Abernathy.
“Not like I thought I would,” Abernathy replied, clearly surprised by his own response. “There are a lot of nice people out here. Well, except for her,” he added with a nod at Mrs. Wellington.
Upon arriving at the base of Summerstone, the sheriff agreed to drive the group to Pittsfield Airport, therefore removing the greatest danger from the trip: Mrs. Wellington behind the wheel. The memory of the horrifying drive to the Pageant for Pooches was stillclearly etched in everyone’s mind, as was Mrs. Wellington’s subsequent arrest.
While none of the children had an explicit fear of flying, Lulu and Theo were definitely uneasy with the idea. For her part, Lulu was extremely worried about being trapped in midair, literally marooned in the sky, without any possible means of escape. Theo, on the other hand, was deeply concerned about everything that happened between takeoff and landing—the plane, the pilot, the peanuts.
Pittsfield Airport was the sort of small-town establishment that crafted signs using paper and felt-tip pens. Constructed out of a converted auto-body garage, it had questionable security to say the least; upon entering, the group was faced with a handwritten note that asked all passengers carrying illegal weapons or other forms of contraband to please turn around and drive to Boston’s Logan Airport.
“I am officially naming the plane Besties Airway!” Hyacinth cheered as she ran toward one of the two gates at the airport.
“Um, no way,” Lulu said with her hand firmly covering her twitching left eye. “That is not a plane; that is acoffin with wings. And quite frankly I don’t think Theo could fit in there even if he was wearing a girdle.”
“How do you know about my girdle?” Theo asked anxiously before getting distracted by the rusted blue plane with lopsided wings and cracked windows.
“Let’s just rent a car and take our chances with Mrs. Wellington,” Lulu declared boldly.
“I have to agree with Lulu on this. That thing is a death trap. It doesn’t even have proper wheels, just a couple of Rollerblades glued to the bottom,” Theo exclaimed nervously.
“Chubby, I cannot believe that you and Macaroni are actually wearing parachutes,” Mrs. Wellington said, pointing to the canvas sacks strapped to their backs.
“Scoff all you want to, but these are the wave of the future,” Theo retorted. “And PS, don’t you think there’s a reason they sell them at the gift shop? And by gift shop I mean the homeless man standing by the front door.”
“Theo, Lulu,” Madeleine said calmly, “why don’t I ask the pilot to come out here and answer all your questions? That’s sure to put you at ease.”
Madeleine walked straight onto the tarmac, whereshe sweetly waved for the pilot of the rusted blue mound to come hither. And though she believed it was her kind face that lured the pilot from the cockpit, it was something else entirely: his curiosity about her shower cap.
Pilot Aronson, a tall and commanding man in his forties, immediately sensed something was amiss upon meeting Lulu and Theo. Of course, it
was
rather hard to ignore Theo’s Lamaze breathing or Lulu’s nervous twisting of her hair.
“I understand you kids have some questions,” Pilot Aronson said to the School of Fearians.
“I prefer to be called an adult or, at least, an adult-in-training,” Theo said haughtily. “Now for my first question: Has this plane passed the 60716554AD56GFC7 inspection?”
“I’ve been a pilot for twenty years, and I’ve never heard of that.”
“Good,” Theo said, nodding his head. “That was a trick question. There is no such thing as the 60716554AD56GFC7 inspection.”
“What’s the square footage on that thing?” Lulu asked while obsessively licking her lips in reaction to her suddenly dry mouth.
“About two hundred fifty square
“Do you ever miss the forest?” Lulu whispered quietly to Abernathy.
“Not like I thought I would,” Abernathy replied, clearly surprised by his own response. “There are a lot of nice people out here. Well, except for her,” he added with a nod at Mrs. Wellington.
Upon arriving at the base of Summerstone, the sheriff agreed to drive the group to Pittsfield Airport, therefore removing the greatest danger from the trip: Mrs. Wellington behind the wheel. The memory of the horrifying drive to the Pageant for Pooches was stillclearly etched in everyone’s mind, as was Mrs. Wellington’s subsequent arrest.
While none of the children had an explicit fear of flying, Lulu and Theo were definitely uneasy with the idea. For her part, Lulu was extremely worried about being trapped in midair, literally marooned in the sky, without any possible means of escape. Theo, on the other hand, was deeply concerned about everything that happened between takeoff and landing—the plane, the pilot, the peanuts.
Pittsfield Airport was the sort of small-town establishment that crafted signs using paper and felt-tip pens. Constructed out of a converted auto-body garage, it had questionable security to say the least; upon entering, the group was faced with a handwritten note that asked all passengers carrying illegal weapons or other forms of contraband to please turn around and drive to Boston’s Logan Airport.
“I am officially naming the plane Besties Airway!” Hyacinth cheered as she ran toward one of the two gates at the airport.
“Um, no way,” Lulu said with her hand firmly covering her twitching left eye. “That is not a plane; that is acoffin with wings. And quite frankly I don’t think Theo could fit in there even if he was wearing a girdle.”
“How do you know about my girdle?” Theo asked anxiously before getting distracted by the rusted blue plane with lopsided wings and cracked windows.
“Let’s just rent a car and take our chances with Mrs. Wellington,” Lulu declared boldly.
“I have to agree with Lulu on this. That thing is a death trap. It doesn’t even have proper wheels, just a couple of Rollerblades glued to the bottom,” Theo exclaimed nervously.
“Chubby, I cannot believe that you and Macaroni are actually wearing parachutes,” Mrs. Wellington said, pointing to the canvas sacks strapped to their backs.
“Scoff all you want to, but these are the wave of the future,” Theo retorted. “And PS, don’t you think there’s a reason they sell them at the gift shop? And by gift shop I mean the homeless man standing by the front door.”
“Theo, Lulu,” Madeleine said calmly, “why don’t I ask the pilot to come out here and answer all your questions? That’s sure to put you at ease.”
Madeleine walked straight onto the tarmac, whereshe sweetly waved for the pilot of the rusted blue mound to come hither. And though she believed it was her kind face that lured the pilot from the cockpit, it was something else entirely: his curiosity about her shower cap.
Pilot Aronson, a tall and commanding man in his forties, immediately sensed something was amiss upon meeting Lulu and Theo. Of course, it
was
rather hard to ignore Theo’s Lamaze breathing or Lulu’s nervous twisting of her hair.
“I understand you kids have some questions,” Pilot Aronson said to the School of Fearians.
“I prefer to be called an adult or, at least, an adult-in-training,” Theo said haughtily. “Now for my first question: Has this plane passed the 60716554AD56GFC7 inspection?”
“I’ve been a pilot for twenty years, and I’ve never heard of that.”
“Good,” Theo said, nodding his head. “That was a trick question. There is no such thing as the 60716554AD56GFC7 inspection.”
“What’s the square footage on that thing?” Lulu asked while obsessively licking her lips in reaction to her suddenly dry mouth.
“About two hundred fifty square
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