Read Online The Family Trap by Joanne Phillips - Free Book Online

one. I’ve got Hannah, and you’ve got Lipsy, and now you’ve got Phoenix too. Ah, I see.’ He purses his lips into a knowing smile.
    ‘What? What exactly do you see?’
    ‘Phoenix. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?’
    He walks over to where Phoenix is sleeping in his bassinet. I’ve yet to introduce them properly, but my grandson, peaceful and angelic on an embroidered white blanket, is perhaps the best ally I could have right now.
    With my eyes I tell Paul to go on. I don’t trust myself to speak.
    ‘You’ve spent a week looking after a baby, and now you want one too.’ He laughs, and turns back to me. When he speaks again I hear relief in his voice. ‘Well, that makes perfect sense. Women are made that way, and Phoenix is your flesh and blood after all. But the thing you have to remember, Stella, is that you’re a grandmother now. You’ve moved up a stage. You don’t need to worry about sleepless nights and changing nappies and filling your house with bits of plastic. We’re free of all that. You can still enjoy the baby, we can even have him for sleepovers when he’s a bit older, and you’ve already promised Lipsy you’ll come back every weekend.’ Another laugh makes me wonder if he’s taken this weekend plan seriously at all.
    ‘We’re about to begin the rest of our lives together,’ he says softly. ‘God knows we’ve waited long enough.’
    Like a woman drowning, scenes from the last twenty years flash before my eyes: Paul at school, so handsome and cool, walking across the playground with the sun behind him; the day I permed my hair and endured the ridicule of everyone except him, and the gratitude and pure love that flooded my teenage body when he stuck up for me; coming back to Milton Keynes and finding him again, glowering in the corner of a bar, all grown up and serious; his arms around me the day I realised John Dean had gone for good and I was all alone with a baby.
    And the day he proposed: Christmas Day. Down on one knee at Willen Lake while I jumped around and blew on my hands to keep warm.
    We have history, Paul and I. But in many ways we are still right at the beginning of our story.
    ‘Paul,’ I say now, ‘are you telling me you definitely, one hundred per cent, do not want to have children with me? Ever?’
    His face takes on a pained but kindly expression. ‘Are you telling me you want to go through it all again? Really?’
    I nod. He shakes his head.
    ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea, Stella. Our ages, the responsibility … And what about my new job? You’re not thinking about it sensibly, is all. What about all the plans we’ve made?’
    ‘Are they so important to you?’
    What I mean is: Are they more important to you than having a family of our own?
    ‘Are you kidding me?’ Paul jumps up and stands with his back to the window. Lit from behind, I can’t see his eyes, but there’s something in his tone of voice that chills me. ‘This move means everything to us, Stella. I’m walking away from the business I started from scratch, you’ve handed in your notice. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, seeing Smart Homes go under? But I’m letting go, I’m moving on. We both are. This is our adventure. Our chance to be together with no complications. Just the two of us.’
    He stresses the last sentence and I wince. My hand slips automatically to my stomach, but Paul doesn’t notice. I hear Phoenix stirring in his bassinet. The last thing I need right now is for Paul to experience my grandson’s epic wails.
    I pull Paul back down onto the sofa and hold his hands lightly, tentatively. ‘But can’t we make a new start and have a baby?’
    ‘No.’ This he almost shouts, back on his feet again. Phoenix stirs and mews softly. Now I can hear the low-level snorts and snuffles that precede a good cry. That’s the baby, by the way. Not Paul. Or me.
    ‘I just don’t think we can, Stella,’ Paul says, pacing. ‘And, to be honest, I don’t see