hand them to us along with the cans of drinks. I popped both our tables down from their restraints and placed Audrey’s in front of her for when she woke up. She had to be exhausted to want to sleep through her fix of soda.
I popped the tab of my drink and dumped the contents onto the ice. It fizzed madly, and my mouth watered for a sip. It felt amazingly cold and settled well in my turbulent stomach.
“How long before we’re in L.A.?” I asked the attendant.
“Three more hours. Did you want a meal?”
“Oh no, thanks.” The last thing I needed was to add to the chaos in my belly. Audrey had grabbed breakfast at the airport before we boarded because she’d planned to sleep the whole way. I had eaten with her, but it was not working as well for me as it had Audrey. It sucked to be pregnant. I didn’t know what I’d been thinking continuing on with it.
Me, a mother? I couldn’t even take care of myself. This thought made my mood dip into depths that I’d been fighting to stay out of a lot lately. I hated when this happened and tried my best to shake it off. I had to stop the morbidity before it started; it was the only way I ever got through anything nowadays.
As the plane descended, I hoped I could get through the rest of this trip alive.
Chapter Twelve
Audrey
Waiting for our luggage, I pulled out my cell phone to dial Saul. Staring at his number, I suddenly wanted to break down in the middle of the airport. But there was no time for falling apart, especially not here. Swallowing down my insecurity, I wondered if it was too soon to call him. Would he even answer if I did?
There was only one way to find out.
I hit dial and put the phone to my ear. The luggage carousel hadn’t even started turning so there was some time to kill. Liz had gone to the restroom while I waited here. Pacing the floor, I secretly wished he would answer and things would be okay.
The phone clicked and began to ring. When the third ring was about to end, I was close to hanging up, but that was when I heard its silence. A soft breathe filled my ear on the other end.
“Hello?” Saul’s voice made my chest squeeze as I tried to get the words out. I couldn’t. I choked on them.
“Audrey?”
“Saul…” I whispered. The tears were already there, soaking into my scarf. I turned into one of the pillars to hide my reddened face and drippy nose.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, but knew he wouldn’t have been able to see me even if I’d been standing in front of him. How in the world could I tell him the answer to that? I was far from fine.
“Yeah,” I finally managed. “I’m in…in L.A. with Liz.”
“I see.” I listened hard for his breathing and clung to it with all my heart. I hated that the overhead announcer chose that moment to call out. Even the whir of the carousel made me want to scream for it to shut up. I wanted to relish his voice, his breath, anything that told me he was on the phone still.
“I’m still in New York. Figured I’d look up some schools for blind children and see if they had any openings or need for volunteers.”
“That’s good.” I closed my eyes, wiping my nose on my scarf. It was disgusting, but I didn’t see anything nearby with a tissue dispenser.
“Look, we need to talk more about…things. I’ve thought about things a lot. Hell, it’s all I can think about lately. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.”
“Me too…I mean…I’m sorry too.” I could barely whisper my answers; my breath was still locked in my throat. A pregnant pause filled the air between us, and I felt like I might lose my mind if he didn’t say something more. Anything.
“Are you coming back to New York City?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know when. We’re going to check out something about Emilio that Liz is all tangled up in. I have no idea what it is, but she asked me to come. Maybe a day or so.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m glad you two are together. L.A. is a busy place, but it
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