Read Online The Faculty Club: A Novel by Danny Tobey - Free Book Online
Authors: Danny Tobey
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meaty palm. "Bride's side or groom's side?"
I gave him a chummy smile.
"Guess," I said.
He scrunched his face up and scrutinized me. "Young. Handsome. Employable. Must be bride's side."
"Right-o," I said.
"Ha! Maybe you can inform my wife I'm not a complete fucking idiot."
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
"And what do
you
do for a living, Jeremy?" he asked, placing another forkful of cake into his crowded mouth.
"I'm a law student," I said.
"Oh, great.
That's
what this country needs. Another lawyer."
Okay, wait a second. Lawyer-bashing? Walrus men? Was I even at the right party?
"Say," he said, pointing his fork at me. "Know what you call ten thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!"
He poked my chest with the back of his fork-holding hand and gave the wheezy laugh again, louder this time, his head and shoulders bobbing up and down until his face started to flush.
Suddenly, behind the man I spotted Daphne, across the room in a black dress that dipped just slightly between her breasts. I felt a shock of excitement. Her hair was twisted up over her head, showing off the long, creamy curve of her neck. She was surrounded by a crowd of attentive men and unhappy-looking wives. Her eyes caught mine, and I felt a jolt shoot down my stomach.
Without thinking, I took a step in her direction. It was a bit unsteady--how fast had I polished off those drinks?
A thick walrus hand clamped down on my shoulder.
"Wait, wait. A lawyer and a snake get run over in the middle of the road. How do you tell the difference?"
I pinched my eyes closed for a second, took a deep breath, let it out.
"How?"
"The snake's the one with tire marks in front of him!"
The man got even redder this time. Little beads of sweat popped out on his forehead. He dabbed at them with the handkerchief. I started to worry he was going to have another heart attack right here.
I looked back to where Daphne had been, but she was gone. I felt an intense longing for that tan neck, the bright red lips, the blue eyes framed by black hair.
"Myself, I'm in the life insurance game," the walrus was saying. His eyes lit up, like a great idea had just occurred to him. "Say . . ." he said, poking my chest again.
I pointed to my drink.
"Looks like I could use a refill. Very nice meeting you."
I pressed deep into the room, trying to put as much crowd between me and my new friend as possible. Near the bar, I heard a familiar voice. I saw the tall, handsome figure of John Anderson, standing a full head above the crowd. He had his quarterback arms spread, each one around the shoulder of an older, distinguished-looking man.
"Judge Hermann, I found a Raiders fan for you to argue with," he said.
Everyone in their circle laughed, and I felt a surge of envy.
Great,
I thought--
he's chatting with a judge, and I'm trading lawyer jokes with Archie Bunker
.
I decided not to pass through John's view. I set out toward the opposite bar instead. I saw a table where a bride and groom were chatting with guests. Behind them was a band on a small dais, bronze horns and a cocktail singer in full swing.
What the hell were we doing at someone's wedding reception?
A wave of relief spread over me as I spotted Nigel, chatting with a serious-looking older woman in an expensive suit.
"Nigel," I said, a little louder than I meant to. "Hey, Nigel!"
He cast a quick glance at me and said something to the woman. They shook hands, and she handed him a business card from her fancy purse.
He stepped over to me.
"Jeremy," he said brightly, giving me the once-over. "How are you, old chap?" He shook my hand like we hadn't seen each other in years.
"I don't know, Nigel. This party. These people. It's not what I expected."
"I see." He stole a glance around me. A quick one, but long enough for me to catch him.
"These are definitely not the people I expected to be associated with"--I lowered my voice to a pseudo-whisper--"
you-know-what
."
Was I somewhat drunk? All my words
I gave him a chummy smile.
"Guess," I said.
He scrunched his face up and scrutinized me. "Young. Handsome. Employable. Must be bride's side."
"Right-o," I said.
"Ha! Maybe you can inform my wife I'm not a complete fucking idiot."
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
"And what do
you
do for a living, Jeremy?" he asked, placing another forkful of cake into his crowded mouth.
"I'm a law student," I said.
"Oh, great.
That's
what this country needs. Another lawyer."
Okay, wait a second. Lawyer-bashing? Walrus men? Was I even at the right party?
"Say," he said, pointing his fork at me. "Know what you call ten thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start!"
He poked my chest with the back of his fork-holding hand and gave the wheezy laugh again, louder this time, his head and shoulders bobbing up and down until his face started to flush.
Suddenly, behind the man I spotted Daphne, across the room in a black dress that dipped just slightly between her breasts. I felt a shock of excitement. Her hair was twisted up over her head, showing off the long, creamy curve of her neck. She was surrounded by a crowd of attentive men and unhappy-looking wives. Her eyes caught mine, and I felt a jolt shoot down my stomach.
Without thinking, I took a step in her direction. It was a bit unsteady--how fast had I polished off those drinks?
A thick walrus hand clamped down on my shoulder.
"Wait, wait. A lawyer and a snake get run over in the middle of the road. How do you tell the difference?"
I pinched my eyes closed for a second, took a deep breath, let it out.
"How?"
"The snake's the one with tire marks in front of him!"
The man got even redder this time. Little beads of sweat popped out on his forehead. He dabbed at them with the handkerchief. I started to worry he was going to have another heart attack right here.
I looked back to where Daphne had been, but she was gone. I felt an intense longing for that tan neck, the bright red lips, the blue eyes framed by black hair.
"Myself, I'm in the life insurance game," the walrus was saying. His eyes lit up, like a great idea had just occurred to him. "Say . . ." he said, poking my chest again.
I pointed to my drink.
"Looks like I could use a refill. Very nice meeting you."
I pressed deep into the room, trying to put as much crowd between me and my new friend as possible. Near the bar, I heard a familiar voice. I saw the tall, handsome figure of John Anderson, standing a full head above the crowd. He had his quarterback arms spread, each one around the shoulder of an older, distinguished-looking man.
"Judge Hermann, I found a Raiders fan for you to argue with," he said.
Everyone in their circle laughed, and I felt a surge of envy.
Great,
I thought--
he's chatting with a judge, and I'm trading lawyer jokes with Archie Bunker
.
I decided not to pass through John's view. I set out toward the opposite bar instead. I saw a table where a bride and groom were chatting with guests. Behind them was a band on a small dais, bronze horns and a cocktail singer in full swing.
What the hell were we doing at someone's wedding reception?
A wave of relief spread over me as I spotted Nigel, chatting with a serious-looking older woman in an expensive suit.
"Nigel," I said, a little louder than I meant to. "Hey, Nigel!"
He cast a quick glance at me and said something to the woman. They shook hands, and she handed him a business card from her fancy purse.
He stepped over to me.
"Jeremy," he said brightly, giving me the once-over. "How are you, old chap?" He shook my hand like we hadn't seen each other in years.
"I don't know, Nigel. This party. These people. It's not what I expected."
"I see." He stole a glance around me. A quick one, but long enough for me to catch him.
"These are definitely not the people I expected to be associated with"--I lowered my voice to a pseudo-whisper--"
you-know-what
."
Was I somewhat drunk? All my words
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