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Authors: David Alexander Robertson
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Jayney.” Point is, ever since Grace died, Jayne might’ve still worn her princess stuff, but she never spun around so pretty any more.
Of course that wasn’t the only thing that had changed since Grace died. Things were unsteady at Alice’s trailer. It’s like when you throw a big rock into the lake and the water ripples for a while before everything’s calm again. The bigger the rock, the longer it takes the water to calm down. Well, little Grace dying was about the biggest rock you could imagine. A boulder. One of the things that happened on account of Grace dying like she did was that Alice stopped letting her girls go out much at all, and never without her. Hell, she never even let them out with me, and before that I used to go out and play with them all the time. So the girls were stuck inside, and they seemed all overcrowded with sadness, whether they realized it or not. It was like claustrophobia or whatever, only it wasn’t walls crushing the girls, it was memories. Watching TV , those girls were sitting right where Grace used to sit, where she used to bug ‘em and crawl all over ‘em. In the bedroom, playing with their toys, the girls were always in the shadow of where Grace used to play or sitting beside Grace’s bed.
After Grace died I made a point of coming to Alice’s place more often than I used to, and that’s pretty often, because I used to come to Alice’s place more than I was at my own place. I liked being over there, so it wasn’t much of a chore, you know. But it was also a conscious effort for me, because, as much as Alice loved her girls, she just couldn’t bring herself to do much with them. If the girls were watching Dora in front of the television, Alice would find her way to her room, or Grace’s bed, and curl up and read or cry, depending on her mood, and, if the girls were playing in their room, Alice’d be in front of the television watching the news or something. I don’t know why that was. Me, I’d’ve kept those girls shut tight in my arms forever, if I were her. Maybe she didn’t want to get too close to them in case she lost another one. Hell, Kathy’d run off the previous week and Alice just about had a heart attack. So I don’t think anybody could blame her for that.
Well, anyway, on the day I’m talking about I got over to Alice’s house about mid-morning. I parked on the highway, just like I always did since Grace died. Truth is, I didn’t have much of a choice anyway, because Alice, she’d made a barricade so nobody could drive up to her house ever again. One by one, she’d taken big rocks from the beach and brought them to the mouth of her driveway, and one by one the barricade got bigger and bigger, until it was big enough to block the whole entrance. I walked around the rocks and made my way to the front door, but stopped before gettin’ there because outside the girls’ bedroom window there was a big pile of clumsily made paper airplanes. I didn’t think nothin’ of it right then, other than it was something I never saw either of the girls do before. I just chuckled at the pile and shook my head a bit, even picked one of them up and tried to make it fly, but it sort of just shot right down to the ground nose first. I had half a mind to pick them up and toss them in the trash, because eventually the wind was going to take them all over the rez, flying like they shoulda been in the first place, but I thought better of it.
When I got inside, I saw the girls must’ve been playing in their room because Alice was sitting all quiet on the couch, watching a talk show; one of those Jerry Springer bullshit shows where there’s more shouting than talking. I always thought they shoulda called shows like that shout shows as opposed to talk shows. Anything coulda been on though, because Alice, I don’t think she was really watching the TV. I think it was more, like, distracting her. She was real quiet all the time. You know, she must’ve had lots of
Of course that wasn’t the only thing that had changed since Grace died. Things were unsteady at Alice’s trailer. It’s like when you throw a big rock into the lake and the water ripples for a while before everything’s calm again. The bigger the rock, the longer it takes the water to calm down. Well, little Grace dying was about the biggest rock you could imagine. A boulder. One of the things that happened on account of Grace dying like she did was that Alice stopped letting her girls go out much at all, and never without her. Hell, she never even let them out with me, and before that I used to go out and play with them all the time. So the girls were stuck inside, and they seemed all overcrowded with sadness, whether they realized it or not. It was like claustrophobia or whatever, only it wasn’t walls crushing the girls, it was memories. Watching TV , those girls were sitting right where Grace used to sit, where she used to bug ‘em and crawl all over ‘em. In the bedroom, playing with their toys, the girls were always in the shadow of where Grace used to play or sitting beside Grace’s bed.
After Grace died I made a point of coming to Alice’s place more often than I used to, and that’s pretty often, because I used to come to Alice’s place more than I was at my own place. I liked being over there, so it wasn’t much of a chore, you know. But it was also a conscious effort for me, because, as much as Alice loved her girls, she just couldn’t bring herself to do much with them. If the girls were watching Dora in front of the television, Alice would find her way to her room, or Grace’s bed, and curl up and read or cry, depending on her mood, and, if the girls were playing in their room, Alice’d be in front of the television watching the news or something. I don’t know why that was. Me, I’d’ve kept those girls shut tight in my arms forever, if I were her. Maybe she didn’t want to get too close to them in case she lost another one. Hell, Kathy’d run off the previous week and Alice just about had a heart attack. So I don’t think anybody could blame her for that.
Well, anyway, on the day I’m talking about I got over to Alice’s house about mid-morning. I parked on the highway, just like I always did since Grace died. Truth is, I didn’t have much of a choice anyway, because Alice, she’d made a barricade so nobody could drive up to her house ever again. One by one, she’d taken big rocks from the beach and brought them to the mouth of her driveway, and one by one the barricade got bigger and bigger, until it was big enough to block the whole entrance. I walked around the rocks and made my way to the front door, but stopped before gettin’ there because outside the girls’ bedroom window there was a big pile of clumsily made paper airplanes. I didn’t think nothin’ of it right then, other than it was something I never saw either of the girls do before. I just chuckled at the pile and shook my head a bit, even picked one of them up and tried to make it fly, but it sort of just shot right down to the ground nose first. I had half a mind to pick them up and toss them in the trash, because eventually the wind was going to take them all over the rez, flying like they shoulda been in the first place, but I thought better of it.
When I got inside, I saw the girls must’ve been playing in their room because Alice was sitting all quiet on the couch, watching a talk show; one of those Jerry Springer bullshit shows where there’s more shouting than talking. I always thought they shoulda called shows like that shout shows as opposed to talk shows. Anything coulda been on though, because Alice, I don’t think she was really watching the TV. I think it was more, like, distracting her. She was real quiet all the time. You know, she must’ve had lots of
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