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Authors: David Alexander Robertson
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certain people often said lovely things when visiting headstones, but, truthfully, he thought doing so felt a bit silly. He thought if Jeff was anywhere, he certainly wasn’t in the cemetery, even though it was a nice, peaceful location, much more appealing than Edward had originally thought for a final resting place. All he did, in the end, was silently wish that Jeff continued to be in a place where he was safe and secure, just where Jeff had hoped everybody should be. He thought of Kathy in that moment, too, and wished the same thing for her, and the little sister she had lost. He imagined Kathy in a cemetery somewhere, standing in front of her little sister’s headstone. He never found out how young the little girl was. Edward took a deep breath and tried to fight back a tear that had welled up in his eye. At least, he thought, Jeff had lived a relatively long life, far longer than that little girl. He thought about what he’d said to Kathy, that she should focus on the good things. He hoped she could do that. God knew it was hard enough for a grown man.
Soon, he was travelling back down Highway 57, his music playing through the car’s speakers and the cruise control set to a reasonable 105 km/h. He picked up his ham sandwich and considered taking a bite. It was, after all, well past lunch.
FOUR
Gideon stood with Kathy and Jayne at the front of the community hall. They needed to have the funeral in there because almost the whole rez had shown up and the church wasn’t big enough. All the people were sitting quietly behind Gideon and the girls, and the only sounds were the odd sniffling and baby crying. Alice was behind them too, sitting there with three empty chairs beside her. Gideon had tried to convince her to come up with them, but she wouldn’t. She said it was too hard. She said that, the last time she’d seen Grace, her little baby was beautiful, smiling and alive. At no point had she asked to see Grace’s body, and Gideon understood why. He thought Alice probably had perfect memories of Grace and didn’t want the bad ones taking over the good ones. He did wonder, though, if she was one of the people sniffling behind them. Maybe she’d used up all her tears. All he’d seen her do today was stare blankly at nothing, somewhere over the casket, as though there was something to be seen against the cream-coloured back wall, like a slide show of cute baby pictures. He’d seen that done before.
Jayne said the casket was so small it looked like a doll’s bed. Gideon agreed. Kathy said that Grace looked prettier than she’d ever seen her. Alice had chosen the most beautiful dress she could find, even though she didn’t want to look at it, now that it was on Grace. Gideon said that he thought she looked real pretty, although her beautiful olive skin was paler now, as though covered lightly with baby powder. He thought Grace, lying peacefully within the tiny casket, was a perfect-sized doll for the little bed.
REMEMBER SATURN
J AYNE USED TO DREAM ABOUT BEING A PRINCESS , like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. She’d wear these cute little princess dresses and spin so hard in ‘em that the bottom of the dress rose up into a perfect circle. I always told her she looked like Saturn when she did that, what with that ring spinnin’ around her middle. She used to smile so big that her face got all scrunched together, and, when I watched her little bare feet go up on tiptoes and take little steps in little circles, my face would get all scrunched up too. Grace was too young to care about princesses and all that. She used to wear the same kind of dresses only because Jayne wore ‘em. She woulda worn blue if that’s what Jayne was wearing. She never cared too much about what Kathy wore; I guess there was an attraction for the one closer to her age. Jayne liked that about Grace. Made her feel special. She always used to call her “my baby” like Grace was all hers, and Grace, in turn, always called Jayne “my
Soon, he was travelling back down Highway 57, his music playing through the car’s speakers and the cruise control set to a reasonable 105 km/h. He picked up his ham sandwich and considered taking a bite. It was, after all, well past lunch.
FOUR
Gideon stood with Kathy and Jayne at the front of the community hall. They needed to have the funeral in there because almost the whole rez had shown up and the church wasn’t big enough. All the people were sitting quietly behind Gideon and the girls, and the only sounds were the odd sniffling and baby crying. Alice was behind them too, sitting there with three empty chairs beside her. Gideon had tried to convince her to come up with them, but she wouldn’t. She said it was too hard. She said that, the last time she’d seen Grace, her little baby was beautiful, smiling and alive. At no point had she asked to see Grace’s body, and Gideon understood why. He thought Alice probably had perfect memories of Grace and didn’t want the bad ones taking over the good ones. He did wonder, though, if she was one of the people sniffling behind them. Maybe she’d used up all her tears. All he’d seen her do today was stare blankly at nothing, somewhere over the casket, as though there was something to be seen against the cream-coloured back wall, like a slide show of cute baby pictures. He’d seen that done before.
Jayne said the casket was so small it looked like a doll’s bed. Gideon agreed. Kathy said that Grace looked prettier than she’d ever seen her. Alice had chosen the most beautiful dress she could find, even though she didn’t want to look at it, now that it was on Grace. Gideon said that he thought she looked real pretty, although her beautiful olive skin was paler now, as though covered lightly with baby powder. He thought Grace, lying peacefully within the tiny casket, was a perfect-sized doll for the little bed.
REMEMBER SATURN
J AYNE USED TO DREAM ABOUT BEING A PRINCESS , like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. She’d wear these cute little princess dresses and spin so hard in ‘em that the bottom of the dress rose up into a perfect circle. I always told her she looked like Saturn when she did that, what with that ring spinnin’ around her middle. She used to smile so big that her face got all scrunched together, and, when I watched her little bare feet go up on tiptoes and take little steps in little circles, my face would get all scrunched up too. Grace was too young to care about princesses and all that. She used to wear the same kind of dresses only because Jayne wore ‘em. She woulda worn blue if that’s what Jayne was wearing. She never cared too much about what Kathy wore; I guess there was an attraction for the one closer to her age. Jayne liked that about Grace. Made her feel special. She always used to call her “my baby” like Grace was all hers, and Grace, in turn, always called Jayne “my
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