gay publication or telephone book doesnât mean itâs gay-owned or -operated. Some companies are merely âgay-friendly,â which means they welcome and acknowledge gay clients and really donât feel that sexual orientation is an issue. Other companies advertise in gay periodicals because it makes good business sense to cash in on gay and lesbian buying power.
A business that is gay-owned or -operated wonât necessarily give you more attention or offer a better price.
As a consumer, you should always check out the quality of the service or the product. Again, the fact that a business advertises in gay publications doesnât necessarily mean itâs good.
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OPTIONS, OPTIONS, OPTIONS
The Caterer
Multiple choice:
1. You can use a gay caterer.
2. You can use a straight caterer and tell her or him itâs for a gay wedding.
3. You can use the caterer of your choice without giving a second thought to sexual orientation.
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Amazing True Stories
To inspire you, we herewith present some positive stories from the Experts, the Pioneers, the people whoâve actually done it: the gay and lesbian marrieds who went through the wars, fought in the trenches, and have these words of wisdom to impart:
I said to the printer, Look, I need a good price, and I want you to know that this is an unorthodox alternate-lifestyle wedding. Will you handle something like that? He said, Why wouldnât I handle something like that? I said, Do you know what Iâm talking about? He said, Yeah, youâre gay and youâre getting married. So what?
âRob, 2004
We went to an upscale mall to purchase the rings and I wasnât sure if I would be comfortable there. What we found was that they
were very supportive. The woman who ended up waiting on us was getting married the same exact day. She was excited for us and we were excited for her, so it ended up a very positive experience.
âSusan, 1994
Brian and I had a philosophy: if you were to put all the bigots behind a one-way mirror, and they could see how Brian and I lived, they could not mistake what we had as anything less than a divine, inspired, special love that most people would compliment. We never hesitated to make an appearance at a place where, at the back of our minds, maybe we thought we werenât really wanted. We expected toleranceâmaybe not acceptance, but tolerance.
âDavid, 1990
We hired a restaurant we liked to handle the food, and they brought in a staff of six. We just said it was a wedding. I think I was afraid of running into discrimination. I really wanted this particular restaurant to cater it, and I guess I didnât feel that they needed to know.
When they got there, no one acted surprised, but Iâm sure they were. All the waitresses were so professional and nice; I mean, at one point I was up there serving the cake and one of them came over to me and said, âOh no. You just go on and have a good time. This is your special night.â
âJeff, 1996
My boss at work is one of my best friends, and sheâs gay. She told me that sheâd really love to bring her girlfriend to the wedding. But sheâs not really out to the other people we work with, so I decided out of courtesy to her that I wouldnât invite anyone else from work even though I probably would have if it hadnât been for that circumstance. It was important to me that it be a special day for her too.
âJoe, 1998
We were shopping around for wedding locations and had to wait while a man in charge of a chapel ran through his spiel on the telephone with someone else, describing the size of the rooms and the sanctuary and checking dates. He finally turned to us and said, So, whoâs the bride? Or is it a double wedding? Then we explained that we were marrying each other. He took a moment to adjust and then was actually kind of entranced with the idea and showed us around with renewed enthusiasm. Before we
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