Read Online The Distance by Alexa Land - Free Book Online

happening.”
    Zachary asked, “What did you say to him afterwards? How did you leave it?”
    “I’m not proud of this, or any of it, but I just got dressed and left without saying anything. The moment we finished, it became painfully awkward. We’d been yelling at each other right before it happened, so it wasn’t like we were suddenly going to make polite conversation.”
    “Who initiated it, you or him?”
    I had to think about that before saying, “I guess I did. He had me pinned to the floor, and all of a sudden I got really turned on. When he let go of me, I grabbed him and kissed him.”
    He said, “Sounds hot.”
    “It was, but now I don’t know what to make of it.”
    “Don’t overthink it. You were attracted to each other, you fucked, and that’s that. It might be a bit awkward next time you see him at the races, but there’s no reason to feel bad about this.”
    “You’re right. It just threw me off.” I glanced at him and asked, “Do you think less of me because I did this?”
    “Of course not.” He grinned a little and added, “You know, now that I think about it, I hated a lot of my customers, going all the way back to the trick who claimed my virginity. All of that probably counts as hate sex, so I’m clearly in no position to judge.”
    “Oh God,” I murmured, then quickly added, “I don’t mean to sound shocked. I just didn’t know you lost your virginity to a client.” My heart broke for him a million times over.
    He nodded and admitted quietly, “It’s fucked up, I know. So’s the fact that I’ve never had sex with anyone who wasn’t paying me.”
    “Never?”
    Zachary shook his head. “I tried. I clumsily propositioned Chance once when he was single, but he thought I was kidding. Thank God. Like this living arrangement isn’t awkward enough.”
    I whispered, “I wish things had been different for you, Zachary.”
    He tried to brush it off, and said, “Could have been worse.” My friend picked up a red-and-brown-striped throw pillow and fidgeted with it. After a moment, he added, “You know, I don’t usually open up about any of this shit, but you’re easy to talk to. Thanks for listening, Jessie, and for not giving me a lot of unsolicited advice or trying to fix me.”
    “It’d be nuts for me to try to fix anyone when I can’t even fix myself,” I told him as I slid close and leaned against him.
    Zachary put his head on my shoulder and asked, “Why do you need fixing? It seems like you have it all together.”
    If only that were true.

Chapter Three
     
    Nana and Ollie (and their dogs) had gone out for Valentine’s Day brunch, so the big house was oddly quiet when I got home the next morning. Two of her grandsons had been staying there when I first moved in, but they’d both found love over the last year and went off to live with their partners. Only I remained.
    Most of the decorations were still in place from the night before, but the peen forest in the foyer had apparently been heavily logged. Only six stragglers were left behind, and they were clustered around the front door, as if they were eager to go join their friends. I assumed some of the guests had taken the other two dozen balloon phalluses home, and grinned at the thought of cars driving all over the city with giant dongs sticking out the windows.
    The house smelled a bit like a funeral parlor, since Ollie had had dozens of bouquets of flowers delivered to Nana for the holiday. Roses, lilies, and things I didn’t have a name for covered almost every surface in the living room and kitchen. I had to move three flower arrangements aside just to get to the huge chrome espresso machine.
    I needed caffeine desperately, so I sighed in frustration as I spun dials and poked at the complicated device. After living in Italy, Ollie claimed he couldn’t function without espresso and bought the professional-grade appliance, replacing the standard coffee maker. He’d shown me how to use it more than once,