Read Online The Deeper We Get by Jessica Gibson - Free Book Online Page A

You aren’t important to me or my life. I’ve hated you for as long as I can remember, and I don’t think that’s going to change because you came here and made some speech about how the drugs made you a monster. No one made you take them—that was all on you. It’s not going to make me forget all the times you hit me or seeing Frannie’s dead body. I still have nightmares about that night.”
    “I’m not expecting it to be an overnight thing. I know it’s going to take time, I just want you to give me that. Give me the time to prove myself to you.”
    “I can’t promise you that. We’re done here. You need to leave now.”
    “Wait...”
    “No, you said your piece, now get out of here. Haven’t you done enough? Do I really need to relive all the same shit over again? Go back to Washington, leave me alone.” I walked straight up the stairs without giving him a chance to say anything else.
    Scarlet was pacing around inside when I walked through the door, her phone was in her hand.
    “Who were you calling?”
    “I don’t know …Vin? I hadn't gotten that far yet. I was trying to give you some time, but I was really worried, and I didn’t know if I would need help with the situation.” She looked lost.
    I enfolded her in my arms, as much for me as for her. I needed to be close to her.
    “I’m okay, you don’t have to worry,” I murmured.
    “Are you though? Is this going to screw with your head?” She pushed away so she could look up at me.
    “I’m okay, I think.” I wasn’t sure I was. I just didn’t want her to worry. “Were you really going to call Vin?”
    “Yes. I figured if you got into a fight with your dad, he would be the best person to call.” She shrugged.
    That was my girl, always thinking with her head. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I didn’t. It was too soon, and frankly it freaked me out.
    “Tell me what you’re thinking.” She looked really concerned.
    I wanted to tell her I was totally fine, and he didn’t affect me at all. “I’m thinking that this sucks, and that I hate him for coming here.”
    “I really hate this, you know?” She put her hand on my chest.
    “I do. I hope he goes away, but I know he won’t. He seems to think I’m going to forgive him.”
    “Will you?”
    “Too soon to tell.” I pulled her against me. I was done talking about this shit. I wanted to forget and lose myself in her.

 
     
     
     
     
    I was slowly losing my mind, too caught up in the past to care about the present. I kept to myself for days. Scarlet called a lot but I made excuses for not going out. I went to school, called in sick to work, and stayed away from the gym. My mood was black, the memories wouldn’t stay away anymore.
    I remembered every time he hit me, every strike of his belt. I still carried his marks on my skin. The thought of forgiving him made me sick to my stomach. I didn’t want or need him back in my life.
    “Chad, open up,” Vin’s voice called through the door. He banged on it a few times. “Open the door or I’ll break it down.”
    I knew he would so I opened the door and let him in.
    “Damn man, where have you been?”
    “Here, school, I don't know.” I flopped back down on the couch
    “Look, Scarlet called. She’s worried about you. We all are. She didn’t go into too many details, but she said your dad’s in town?”
    “I’m just dealing with some crap, that’s all.”
    “By shutting yourself up in this place? Like that’s healthy?”
    I knew I was going to have to tell Vin all of it or he wouldn’t leave me alone. After I told him the whole of it he dropped onto the couch next to me.
    “Wow, I mean, I don’t know what to say. That’s seriously messed up.”
    “I can’t deal with it. It brings up all the crap I’ve been trying to forget for years.”
    “What do you want to do? Do you want to forgive him?”
    “No, I really don’t.” I didn’t, but I could already feel myself slipping into familiar old habits,