your skirt. I got a good look, too.”
“You did not!” she flared, reddening. “I turned dragon before you saw anything.”
He nodded. “So you do remember. Nobody else does. You must have a bit of extra talent.”
“You're trying to see underage panties--and you don't care at all!” She was so angry she was starting to see around trees.
“Certainly I care. I'm frustrated because my effort was wasted. All I can see is your stupid feet.”
“I ought to turn dragon now and chomp you!”
The Dastard was unimpressed. “I'd only unhappen it. You may remember, but you won't get to chomp.”
He was probably right. That made her madder than ever. Then she remembered the snooze buttons she had saved. If she sneaked one of those into his food, he would fall asleep, and then she would be able to chomp him. If he ever succeeded in getting a dirty look at her panties, she would do that. But until then she would try to follow the Good Magician's directive, and remain to help this utter cad in some way. She had heard that the Good Magician's Answers could seem irrelevant or crazy, but always made sense in the end. She had to hope that this Service also made sense. Somehow. Eventually. By some incredible coincidence.
Another creature came down the path. This was a busy route! This one looked like a wolf. Could it be that lonesome dog she had almost seen before? No, it looked different.
“What are you?” the Dastard asked it.
“I am a who-what-where-wolf by the name of How?LL,” he replied. “I have a real nose for news, and a tail for truth.”
“Well, can you tell me how I'll get to see the panties of this obdurate girl?”
Becka shuddered. The man had no shame at all. Shame must be another quality of conscience or soul.
The wolf looked at Becka. “No. She's underage.”
The Dastard looked so frustrated he seemed about to burst. He didn't, but she did: Becka burst out laughing. She couldn't help herself. It was so great to see the heel balked.
But this time the Dastard didn't make it unhappen. Instead he continued to question How?LL. “What else can you tell me?”
How?LL took a step forward and sniffed him. “You are a man without a soul,” he said. “And a devastatingly devious magic talent.”
“Don't bother with the flattery. Will I succeed in my objectives?”
“That depends on what your objectives are.”
“To do dastardly deeds, mess up Xanth, become somebody, and marry a princess.”
How?LL pondered a moment. “I'm much better at sniffing out the past than the future. It does seem likely that you will succeed, considering the indications, but I can't be quite sure. There is a force gathering against you that may succeed in stopping you.”
“What force?” the Dastard demanded.
How?LL pondered again. “I can't quite smell it. It's far away, and secret. It may be fathomable, as there seems to be more than ten folk who know it, but I can't quite sniff it out. This girl has something to do with it.”
“You mean to tell me that this balky girl who will neither show me anything interesting nor go away is conspiring against me?”
“No. She's innocent. But she relates in some devious improbable way that no one will ever guess until it happens.”
“Can you tell me anything else?”
“No. There is too much vagueness surrounding you, because of the way you change what happens.”
Becka blinked. The who-what-where-wolf was coming down the path toward them. “You unhappened that dialogue,” she said.
“Of course. I don't want him knowing what I'm doing.”
Was there no end to this man's deviousness?
How?LL came close. “Where is there a good camping place?” the Dastard asked him.
“Not far on along this path,” How?LL replied.
“Thank you.” The Dastard walked on without pausing for further dialogue. The wolf continued in the other direction, unaware that there had ever been anything more.
“So you used him, then unhappened it,” Becka said. “But I remember. Are you
“You did not!” she flared, reddening. “I turned dragon before you saw anything.”
He nodded. “So you do remember. Nobody else does. You must have a bit of extra talent.”
“You're trying to see underage panties--and you don't care at all!” She was so angry she was starting to see around trees.
“Certainly I care. I'm frustrated because my effort was wasted. All I can see is your stupid feet.”
“I ought to turn dragon now and chomp you!”
The Dastard was unimpressed. “I'd only unhappen it. You may remember, but you won't get to chomp.”
He was probably right. That made her madder than ever. Then she remembered the snooze buttons she had saved. If she sneaked one of those into his food, he would fall asleep, and then she would be able to chomp him. If he ever succeeded in getting a dirty look at her panties, she would do that. But until then she would try to follow the Good Magician's directive, and remain to help this utter cad in some way. She had heard that the Good Magician's Answers could seem irrelevant or crazy, but always made sense in the end. She had to hope that this Service also made sense. Somehow. Eventually. By some incredible coincidence.
Another creature came down the path. This was a busy route! This one looked like a wolf. Could it be that lonesome dog she had almost seen before? No, it looked different.
“What are you?” the Dastard asked it.
“I am a who-what-where-wolf by the name of How?LL,” he replied. “I have a real nose for news, and a tail for truth.”
“Well, can you tell me how I'll get to see the panties of this obdurate girl?”
Becka shuddered. The man had no shame at all. Shame must be another quality of conscience or soul.
The wolf looked at Becka. “No. She's underage.”
The Dastard looked so frustrated he seemed about to burst. He didn't, but she did: Becka burst out laughing. She couldn't help herself. It was so great to see the heel balked.
But this time the Dastard didn't make it unhappen. Instead he continued to question How?LL. “What else can you tell me?”
How?LL took a step forward and sniffed him. “You are a man without a soul,” he said. “And a devastatingly devious magic talent.”
“Don't bother with the flattery. Will I succeed in my objectives?”
“That depends on what your objectives are.”
“To do dastardly deeds, mess up Xanth, become somebody, and marry a princess.”
How?LL pondered a moment. “I'm much better at sniffing out the past than the future. It does seem likely that you will succeed, considering the indications, but I can't be quite sure. There is a force gathering against you that may succeed in stopping you.”
“What force?” the Dastard demanded.
How?LL pondered again. “I can't quite smell it. It's far away, and secret. It may be fathomable, as there seems to be more than ten folk who know it, but I can't quite sniff it out. This girl has something to do with it.”
“You mean to tell me that this balky girl who will neither show me anything interesting nor go away is conspiring against me?”
“No. She's innocent. But she relates in some devious improbable way that no one will ever guess until it happens.”
“Can you tell me anything else?”
“No. There is too much vagueness surrounding you, because of the way you change what happens.”
Becka blinked. The who-what-where-wolf was coming down the path toward them. “You unhappened that dialogue,” she said.
“Of course. I don't want him knowing what I'm doing.”
Was there no end to this man's deviousness?
How?LL came close. “Where is there a good camping place?” the Dastard asked him.
“Not far on along this path,” How?LL replied.
“Thank you.” The Dastard walked on without pausing for further dialogue. The wolf continued in the other direction, unaware that there had ever been anything more.
“So you used him, then unhappened it,” Becka said. “But I remember. Are you
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