Read Online I Want by Jo Briggs - Free Book Online

moved into focus, Cate turned her head, shooting
her sister an inquisitive look.
    “Cate, its fine. Let him in.” Elle
said walking into view of the front door, her pulse racing, as she lifted her calm
gaze to meet William’s surprised one. Blue met green equally, as Cate continued
to look from Elle, and back to William, trying to get a measure of what each
was thinking.
    Slowly, Cate moved to the side of the
doorframe, to allow William entrance into the hallway. He stepped forward as
she did so, keeping his eyes fully locked on Elle, ignoring Cate’s presence for
a moment, until she broke his silent trance. “Take Will into the drawing room.”
Cate instructed as she turned to her sister. “I will go and place these in a
vase in the kitchen.”
    Waiting until they were alone, he finally
uttered softly, “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
    Elle could not find her voice yet,
and simply nodded, before gesturing to the ajar door leading to the drawing room.
    With a nervous smile, William moved
past her, and into the indicated room. She breathed in a waft of his cologne as
he did so. Elle took another deep breath, trying to hold back the welling up of
tears, as the familiarity of the smell, and the fact it would be the last time
she would smell it on him, overwhelmed her.
    Entering the room, she pushed the door
partially closed, leaving enough of a gap, that Cate would hear if it were wise
to enter when she returned. William was standing in his usual pose, with his
back to the room by the window, staring out at the view. Taking a seat, she waited
for several moments, before he turned and spoke.
    “As I said to your sister, this will
take just a few minutes.” His voice trembled with obvious emotion.
    Elle stared down at her hands, allowing
him to continue without interruption.
    “I accept that there is no going back
from your decision to leave, but I just needed to see you one last...” He paused,
obviously struggling to get his words out. “...one last time, to say sorry,
sorry for not being supportive enough. I know I am guilty of letting business
get in the way of us being able to grieve together.”
    Elle looked up for the first time since
he started talking, an expression of wonder written on her face. For weeks, she
felt guilty for not being able to express her grief into words with him. She
had thought his anger had been over the frustration of her endless crying,
rather than talking it through. Hearing that he felt blameable, for not being
able to spend enough time to help get them through their grief together, threw
her thoughts totally off balance. “You should not feel guilty for having to go
to work. I am just sorry for all the nights; I kept you up with my endless
crying, rather than talking about it. Maybe if, I had been able to open up
more, we would not be in this position today,” she said looking away from his
gaze.
    “Do not tear yourself up about it –
each of us could have done things better in hindsight, but losing your parents,
and the baby in a short space of time is enough to make anyone struggle to
discuss things. I know I went into a shutdown mode when my mother and father
died.”
    Elle offered him a weak smile, as she
did not trust herself to speak. She was trying her utmost to resist listening
to the inner voice screaming in her head to ask for another chance since he
seemed to share her regret. But, this misunderstanding had hit her with the
cold reality that, no matter how much she still loved him, she needed to be
alone, to do some growing up.
    “Anyway,” He said letting out a deep
sigh. “I think my few minutes are up. I guess I will be seeing you at Charlie’s
from time to time.”
    “You might be relieved to know that
I will not be there often at all, I have accepted a job in New York.”
    William’s face fell. The thought of
knowing he would be seeing her from time to time, when Jess and Charlie had parties,
was the one thing that had kept him from begging her not to