Read Online The Darwin Awards 4: Intelligent Design by Wendy Northcutt - Free Book Online
Authors: Wendy Northcutt
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his arms to the side of the barrel and his feet to a large anvil as ballast, he would pop up out of the foam at the bottom of the cataract, safe and right-side up. He knew what he was doing, by gum, and he was going to do it.
He launched his ungainly craft early one morning, and floated through the rapids toward Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Forty-five minutes after launch, the heavy barrel flew over the edge of the falls. So far, so good…but when Charles hit the water below, the anvil plunged through the bottom ofthe barrel, carrying most of Charles to the bottom with it. The barrel became stuck behind the falls. It wasn’t until much later that the barrel’s battered remains floated out into the mist. Attached was Charles’ right arm, still strapped down, with his tattoo visible: “Don’t Forget Me Annie.”
Reference: infoniagara.com
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The Daredevils of Niagara Falls: www.DarwinAwards.com/book/niagara.html
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D ARWIN A WARD : H URRICANE B LUMPKIN
Confirmed by Darwin
19 S EPTEMBER 2003, V IRGINIA
Hurricane Isabel whipped shallow creeks into raging rivers, before calming down to a violent tropical storm. What better time for a canoe trip? Especially at two-thirty in the morning, on a moonless night? Enter “Blumpkin,” twenty-one, captain of the James Madison University rugby team, described as “insane, just indestructible.”
He left his own party with friends who “thought it would be all ha, ha and funny” to take the canoe straight down Blacks Run Stream to Blumpkin’s old house.
Winds were gusting to fifty miles per hour, as nearly a foot of rain fell on the Shenandoah Valley. The Boy Scout canoe merit badge says, “If in doubt…survey the water from shore. Do not run any but the mildest rapids unless you have a guide who knows the river. Wear life jackets in all rough water.” Surely Blumpkin noticed that the knee-deep water of Blacks Run was now a flood churning higher than his head. Nevertheless, he launched—and just as quickly capsized. The boat occupants were tossed into the swift, storm-fed stream.
Our “indestructible” friend Blumpkin was sucked underwater twice, to resurface at dawn, one hundred yards downstream, with a Darwin Award clutched in his fist. His female companion managed to reach shore, as did his male companion, who knew it “wasn’t a good idea from the start.”
Reference: www.wina.com, Daily News-Record, The Breeze
D ARWIN A WARD :
A C LOSER L OOK AT V ICTORIA F ALLS
Confirmed by Darwin
31 D ECEMBER 2004, Z IMBABWE
The one-hundred-year-old Victoria Falls Bridge, linking Zimbabwe and Zambia, offers a spectacular view of the eighty-meter chasm. Continuous spray from the massive waterfall makes the rocks and vegetation along the lip as slippery as a slide at a water park, but far less tolerant of error.
While taking pictures at the falls with his girlfriend on New Year’s Eve, Michael, fifty, dropped his spectacles over the rim. He would hardly be able to enjoy the view without them, so he decided to retrieve them.
He was intelligent enough to be aware of the risk. Headmaster at Summit College in Johannesburg and a highly regarded lecturer at geography conferences, he knew how to assess the physical world. Edging out on the slick rim, reaching toward his glasses, he slipped—and fell forty meters to his death. His body was recovered by helicopter.
Reference: Mail & Guardian
H ONORABLE M ENTION : C ATCHING THE B OAT
Confirmed by Darwin
28 S EPTEMBER 2003, V ANCOUVER , C ANADA
Isaac, a thirty-six-year-old carpenter, had a brilliant plan to become a stunt man. During the Vancouver Film Festival, he would bungee jump from the Lions Gate Bridge, gracefully descend to the deck of a passing cruise ship, and disengage from the bungee cable as smoothly as James Bond, to the awe of the passengers. Producers and movie people who had jetted in from all over the world would marvel at his work.
He launched his ungainly craft early one morning, and floated through the rapids toward Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Forty-five minutes after launch, the heavy barrel flew over the edge of the falls. So far, so good…but when Charles hit the water below, the anvil plunged through the bottom ofthe barrel, carrying most of Charles to the bottom with it. The barrel became stuck behind the falls. It wasn’t until much later that the barrel’s battered remains floated out into the mist. Attached was Charles’ right arm, still strapped down, with his tattoo visible: “Don’t Forget Me Annie.”
Reference: infoniagara.com
----
The Daredevils of Niagara Falls: www.DarwinAwards.com/book/niagara.html
----
D ARWIN A WARD : H URRICANE B LUMPKIN
Confirmed by Darwin
19 S EPTEMBER 2003, V IRGINIA
Hurricane Isabel whipped shallow creeks into raging rivers, before calming down to a violent tropical storm. What better time for a canoe trip? Especially at two-thirty in the morning, on a moonless night? Enter “Blumpkin,” twenty-one, captain of the James Madison University rugby team, described as “insane, just indestructible.”
He left his own party with friends who “thought it would be all ha, ha and funny” to take the canoe straight down Blacks Run Stream to Blumpkin’s old house.
Winds were gusting to fifty miles per hour, as nearly a foot of rain fell on the Shenandoah Valley. The Boy Scout canoe merit badge says, “If in doubt…survey the water from shore. Do not run any but the mildest rapids unless you have a guide who knows the river. Wear life jackets in all rough water.” Surely Blumpkin noticed that the knee-deep water of Blacks Run was now a flood churning higher than his head. Nevertheless, he launched—and just as quickly capsized. The boat occupants were tossed into the swift, storm-fed stream.
Our “indestructible” friend Blumpkin was sucked underwater twice, to resurface at dawn, one hundred yards downstream, with a Darwin Award clutched in his fist. His female companion managed to reach shore, as did his male companion, who knew it “wasn’t a good idea from the start.”
Reference: www.wina.com, Daily News-Record, The Breeze
D ARWIN A WARD :
A C LOSER L OOK AT V ICTORIA F ALLS
Confirmed by Darwin
31 D ECEMBER 2004, Z IMBABWE
The one-hundred-year-old Victoria Falls Bridge, linking Zimbabwe and Zambia, offers a spectacular view of the eighty-meter chasm. Continuous spray from the massive waterfall makes the rocks and vegetation along the lip as slippery as a slide at a water park, but far less tolerant of error.
While taking pictures at the falls with his girlfriend on New Year’s Eve, Michael, fifty, dropped his spectacles over the rim. He would hardly be able to enjoy the view without them, so he decided to retrieve them.
He was intelligent enough to be aware of the risk. Headmaster at Summit College in Johannesburg and a highly regarded lecturer at geography conferences, he knew how to assess the physical world. Edging out on the slick rim, reaching toward his glasses, he slipped—and fell forty meters to his death. His body was recovered by helicopter.
Reference: Mail & Guardian
H ONORABLE M ENTION : C ATCHING THE B OAT
Confirmed by Darwin
28 S EPTEMBER 2003, V ANCOUVER , C ANADA
Isaac, a thirty-six-year-old carpenter, had a brilliant plan to become a stunt man. During the Vancouver Film Festival, he would bungee jump from the Lions Gate Bridge, gracefully descend to the deck of a passing cruise ship, and disengage from the bungee cable as smoothly as James Bond, to the awe of the passengers. Producers and movie people who had jetted in from all over the world would marvel at his work.
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