Read Online The Boundless Sublime by Lili Wilkinson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Lili Wilkinson
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embarrassed by my friends, their dark pretensions and obsession with death.
Minah glanced at me, eyebrows arching. ‘What do you think, Ruby?’
‘Um,’ I said. ‘It’s … very interesting.’
‘Isn’t it.’ Minah gazed at me for a moment too long, and I could guess what she was thinking. About Fox. About cults.
Flick’s lip curled and she turned to Fox. ‘Did you know that Ruby’s a musician? She plays piano, and writes her own pieces. She doesn’t like this sort of music, though. What do you call it, Ruby? “Tooth-rotting schmaltz”, I think is how you described it. Shallow. Empty. Worthless.’
Fox looked at me, confused. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
‘I remember Ruby once saying that she’d rather stick forks in both her eyes than listen to a love song,’ Flick continued,watching Fox like a predator stalking her prey. ‘I remember she once said that there was no such thing as love. Just something invented by greeting-card companies to civilise a primitive surge of hormonal activity.’
I glared at Flick. But what could I say? I couldn’t deny it – I had said those things. And if I told her I’d changed my mind about love … she’d eat me alive.
Flick leaned back, satisfied for now.
Ali tapped ash into an empty beer can, and Fox watched curiously.
‘What does it feel like?’ he asked.
Ali’s face wrinkled in contempt, as though Fox had said something unbelievably stupid. ‘What?’
‘Smoking. What does it feel like?’
Ali shrugged, and offered Fox the cigarette. ‘Try it.’
Fox laughed. ‘Oh no,’ he said. ‘I can’t do that. I’d probably die.’
He was smiling, but I knew he was totally serious. Fox didn’t exaggerate. Ali took another deep inhale. Fox shook his head, bemused and fascinated.
‘So, Fox,’ said Flick, ready for more blood. ‘What’s your deal?’
‘My deal?’
‘Yeah. You’re in a cult, right? A bunch of kale-eating hippies? Do you dance naked under the moon? Commit ritual sacrifices? Worship alien lizard-gods?’
Fox chuckled. ‘You’re funny, Flick. I see why Ruby likes you. To answer your questions, I’ve never done any of those things, except eat kale, I suppose. Although dancing naked under the moon might be quite an experience.’
Ali snorted, and stubbed out his cigarette. Flick’s eyes flashed with triumph, and I realised that she liked him. She’d always liked him. I remembered her barbs and jibesat me, when I’d been flirting with Ali, and Ali had flirted back. With a wave of sadness, I realised that even if Anton hadn’t died, our little friendship group would have imploded anyway. I hadn’t seen it before, but now … now everything was clear.
I didn’t belong with these people. Not anymore.
Ali lit another cigarette, and narrowed his eyes at Fox. ‘So, dude,’ he said. ‘You and Ruby, hey? What’s up with that?’
Fox met Ali’s gaze with a cool expression. For a moment they just stared at each other, as if something primal was happening. Some unspoken battle. ‘Ruby is amazing,’ Fox said at last, his voice calm. ‘I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s very wise.’
‘Wise?’
‘Yes. She’s full of knowledge. And kindness. And love.’
Minah had pulled out her phone and was pretending not to listen, her face a mask of disapproval.
‘Have you filled her up with your love, then?’ said Ali.
Flick giggled nastily.
Fox’s coolness didn’t waver. ‘I’m trying to.’
‘Fill her right up?’ said Ali. ‘Right up to the brim? Until she’s overflowing with your … love?’
Harrison choked back laughter. Ali had a cruel, sarcastic look on his face. I knew I should speak up. Defend Fox. Protect him. Take him away from my vulture friends. But I was frozen. The sun had disappeared behind looming clouds, and here in the Wasteland it didn’t feel as if spring would ever come. Here, it was always winter. Always cold. Always dark.
Fox pursed his lips, and I realised that he understood Ali’s
Minah glanced at me, eyebrows arching. ‘What do you think, Ruby?’
‘Um,’ I said. ‘It’s … very interesting.’
‘Isn’t it.’ Minah gazed at me for a moment too long, and I could guess what she was thinking. About Fox. About cults.
Flick’s lip curled and she turned to Fox. ‘Did you know that Ruby’s a musician? She plays piano, and writes her own pieces. She doesn’t like this sort of music, though. What do you call it, Ruby? “Tooth-rotting schmaltz”, I think is how you described it. Shallow. Empty. Worthless.’
Fox looked at me, confused. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
‘I remember Ruby once saying that she’d rather stick forks in both her eyes than listen to a love song,’ Flick continued,watching Fox like a predator stalking her prey. ‘I remember she once said that there was no such thing as love. Just something invented by greeting-card companies to civilise a primitive surge of hormonal activity.’
I glared at Flick. But what could I say? I couldn’t deny it – I had said those things. And if I told her I’d changed my mind about love … she’d eat me alive.
Flick leaned back, satisfied for now.
Ali tapped ash into an empty beer can, and Fox watched curiously.
‘What does it feel like?’ he asked.
Ali’s face wrinkled in contempt, as though Fox had said something unbelievably stupid. ‘What?’
‘Smoking. What does it feel like?’
Ali shrugged, and offered Fox the cigarette. ‘Try it.’
Fox laughed. ‘Oh no,’ he said. ‘I can’t do that. I’d probably die.’
He was smiling, but I knew he was totally serious. Fox didn’t exaggerate. Ali took another deep inhale. Fox shook his head, bemused and fascinated.
‘So, Fox,’ said Flick, ready for more blood. ‘What’s your deal?’
‘My deal?’
‘Yeah. You’re in a cult, right? A bunch of kale-eating hippies? Do you dance naked under the moon? Commit ritual sacrifices? Worship alien lizard-gods?’
Fox chuckled. ‘You’re funny, Flick. I see why Ruby likes you. To answer your questions, I’ve never done any of those things, except eat kale, I suppose. Although dancing naked under the moon might be quite an experience.’
Ali snorted, and stubbed out his cigarette. Flick’s eyes flashed with triumph, and I realised that she liked him. She’d always liked him. I remembered her barbs and jibesat me, when I’d been flirting with Ali, and Ali had flirted back. With a wave of sadness, I realised that even if Anton hadn’t died, our little friendship group would have imploded anyway. I hadn’t seen it before, but now … now everything was clear.
I didn’t belong with these people. Not anymore.
Ali lit another cigarette, and narrowed his eyes at Fox. ‘So, dude,’ he said. ‘You and Ruby, hey? What’s up with that?’
Fox met Ali’s gaze with a cool expression. For a moment they just stared at each other, as if something primal was happening. Some unspoken battle. ‘Ruby is amazing,’ Fox said at last, his voice calm. ‘I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s very wise.’
‘Wise?’
‘Yes. She’s full of knowledge. And kindness. And love.’
Minah had pulled out her phone and was pretending not to listen, her face a mask of disapproval.
‘Have you filled her up with your love, then?’ said Ali.
Flick giggled nastily.
Fox’s coolness didn’t waver. ‘I’m trying to.’
‘Fill her right up?’ said Ali. ‘Right up to the brim? Until she’s overflowing with your … love?’
Harrison choked back laughter. Ali had a cruel, sarcastic look on his face. I knew I should speak up. Defend Fox. Protect him. Take him away from my vulture friends. But I was frozen. The sun had disappeared behind looming clouds, and here in the Wasteland it didn’t feel as if spring would ever come. Here, it was always winter. Always cold. Always dark.
Fox pursed his lips, and I realised that he understood Ali’s
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