Read Online The Book of Goodbyes by Jillian Weise - Free Book Online
Authors: Jillian Weise
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THE UGLY LAW
Any person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or
can I continue reading this? Will it affect my psyche
so that the next time Big Logos comes over
I will not be there in the room? Instead I will be
wandering a Chicago street in my dress with my
parasol as a cane, on the verge of arrest, where arrest
could mean âstoppingâ or âto keep the mind fixed
on a subject,â where the subject is the diseased,
maimed, mutilated self of 19 th c. Chicago, the self
in any way deformed so as to be unsightly
and will I tell him to stop looking, tell him Iâm tired
and Iâm about to be arrested for walking in public
and I canât possibly climax when I am
an improper
person
who is not
allowed in or on the streets,
highways, thoroughfares or
will he say weâre alone,
no one is watching, there is your bedside table
and there your mirror and who am I kidding?
I wonât tell him anything. There is no room
in bed for this. It does no good to bring things up
from the 19 th c. or from last week when the things
have to do withâhow do I say itâwhat is the word
I usually use? Last week I said it like this:
âBig Logos, a moth came out from hiding
as soon as I had taken my leg off and the moth
said, âHa little cripple. Now you canât get me
with the broom.ââ Then I laughed so he would
know itâs okay to laugh. I do it like a joke.
I do it like itâs nothing. Why the cover-up?
Why are the laws stacked with it and I never
in high school heard of it?
The maimed shall not
therein or thereon expose himself or herself
to public view under penalty of
staring,
pointing, whispers, aphorisms such as âWe are all disabledâ
or âWhat a pretty face you haveâ or âGod gives
and God takes awayâ or
one dollar for each offense
.
One dollar in 1881 is like $20 today. I wanted to compare it
to something like dinner at Ruby Tuesday or a bra
on sale at Victoriaâs Secret, as if by comparing
the amount to something I have bought, I would buy
the penalty out. Then the penalty and all its horror
would be gone instead of arrested, kept in mind,
dwelled on when Big Logos comes over or forget him
when I am in the supermarket or forget the supermarket
when I am in front of twenty-four legs in a classroom
or forget the classroom when I am on the couch
watching TV: how will I not think of the woman
in Chicago trying to hide her limp, her thoughts
on her limp, trying not to bring it up, draw attention to it,
or what will happen if she is caught by the constable?
On the conviction of any person for a violation
of this section, if it shall seem proper and just,
the fine provided for may be suspended for
130 years
until a person enters âcrippleâ in the search engine
on Project Muse because a person has no cripple friends
and has started to think cripples donât exist
and never did and finds the law. Why have I posted
the ordinance on the mirror and why have I traded
the lube in the bedside table for a twenty dollar bill?
Whatâs that supposed to do? Help the history slide in?
Help me remember?
Such a person will be detained
at the police station, where he shall be well
in the company of criminals, concrete and moths
and a small window to the forbidden street
cared for,
until he can be committed to the county poor house.
I am not poor. I am not even unsightly. What a pretty face
I have Iâve been told. Big Logos, will you attest
to my sightliness? Is this all in the past? Why are you
sleeping with me, anyway? Arenât you afraid?
DECENT RECIPE FOR TILAPIA
Tell your back home friends it means nothing
and you will drop him as soon as you have
friends in the city. If you had more friends,
you would not sleep with him. If not him,
who would share your Tilapia? No beloved meal
begins, âAlone before a plate of fish . . .â
Find your
Any person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or
can I continue reading this? Will it affect my psyche
so that the next time Big Logos comes over
I will not be there in the room? Instead I will be
wandering a Chicago street in my dress with my
parasol as a cane, on the verge of arrest, where arrest
could mean âstoppingâ or âto keep the mind fixed
on a subject,â where the subject is the diseased,
maimed, mutilated self of 19 th c. Chicago, the self
in any way deformed so as to be unsightly
and will I tell him to stop looking, tell him Iâm tired
and Iâm about to be arrested for walking in public
and I canât possibly climax when I am
an improper
person
who is not
allowed in or on the streets,
highways, thoroughfares or
will he say weâre alone,
no one is watching, there is your bedside table
and there your mirror and who am I kidding?
I wonât tell him anything. There is no room
in bed for this. It does no good to bring things up
from the 19 th c. or from last week when the things
have to do withâhow do I say itâwhat is the word
I usually use? Last week I said it like this:
âBig Logos, a moth came out from hiding
as soon as I had taken my leg off and the moth
said, âHa little cripple. Now you canât get me
with the broom.ââ Then I laughed so he would
know itâs okay to laugh. I do it like a joke.
I do it like itâs nothing. Why the cover-up?
Why are the laws stacked with it and I never
in high school heard of it?
The maimed shall not
therein or thereon expose himself or herself
to public view under penalty of
staring,
pointing, whispers, aphorisms such as âWe are all disabledâ
or âWhat a pretty face you haveâ or âGod gives
and God takes awayâ or
one dollar for each offense
.
One dollar in 1881 is like $20 today. I wanted to compare it
to something like dinner at Ruby Tuesday or a bra
on sale at Victoriaâs Secret, as if by comparing
the amount to something I have bought, I would buy
the penalty out. Then the penalty and all its horror
would be gone instead of arrested, kept in mind,
dwelled on when Big Logos comes over or forget him
when I am in the supermarket or forget the supermarket
when I am in front of twenty-four legs in a classroom
or forget the classroom when I am on the couch
watching TV: how will I not think of the woman
in Chicago trying to hide her limp, her thoughts
on her limp, trying not to bring it up, draw attention to it,
or what will happen if she is caught by the constable?
On the conviction of any person for a violation
of this section, if it shall seem proper and just,
the fine provided for may be suspended for
130 years
until a person enters âcrippleâ in the search engine
on Project Muse because a person has no cripple friends
and has started to think cripples donât exist
and never did and finds the law. Why have I posted
the ordinance on the mirror and why have I traded
the lube in the bedside table for a twenty dollar bill?
Whatâs that supposed to do? Help the history slide in?
Help me remember?
Such a person will be detained
at the police station, where he shall be well
in the company of criminals, concrete and moths
and a small window to the forbidden street
cared for,
until he can be committed to the county poor house.
I am not poor. I am not even unsightly. What a pretty face
I have Iâve been told. Big Logos, will you attest
to my sightliness? Is this all in the past? Why are you
sleeping with me, anyway? Arenât you afraid?
DECENT RECIPE FOR TILAPIA
Tell your back home friends it means nothing
and you will drop him as soon as you have
friends in the city. If you had more friends,
you would not sleep with him. If not him,
who would share your Tilapia? No beloved meal
begins, âAlone before a plate of fish . . .â
Find your
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