so full of regret. Whatever was going on in his head was far more complicated than I’d thought.
I hated that his scent evoked so much history between us. We’d spent our young adulthood together, built a life together. Two nineteen-year-olds facing the world. As a team. It hurt just to look at him. In the last six months, he’d succeeded brilliantly in his career, but was it on his own merits? He claimed to have quit practicing after that night. Friends, family, everyone believed him. And I guess I did, too, or else I’d never allow Emma to spend time with him. I also knew that he never meant for things to get so out of hand, but there was a mountain of emotional obstacles for us to overcome. He wanted too much, too fast.
I had to learn to trust him again. And right now, that seemed impossible.
With a determined gaze, he moved toward me, not stopping until his mouth was on mine. I sucked in a small, surprised gasp, pulling his warm breath inside me without meaning to. He kissed me hard and meaningfully. No tongue, but with so much emotion that tears welled in my eyes. I knew he loved me, and his sorrow and regret tore me in half.
The squeal of bus brakes broke us apart.
Grateful for the reprieve, I sidestepped my ex-husband, straightened my shirt, and redid my hair as Will went to the sink and splashed water onto his face. He was just as shaken as I was.
The entire visit had rattled me to the bone. Emma and I had been doing just fine on our own. We’d settled into a comfortable routine in the last few months, had pushed past the initial hurt of divorce and were moving forward. Damn him!
He dried off and then finished the bottle of water as Emma came through the door.
“Daddy!”
Like magic, the dark aura of emotion surrounding him lifted and a wide, genuine grin split his handsome face. For a moment, it was as if they were the only two people in the world.
“Hey, you. How’s my girl?” He set her on the counter.
“Fine.” Her brown eyes grew larger and more serious. “Amanda is in the hospital.” Her confident gaze flicked to me. “But Mom’s going to help her.”
Tall order, Charlie. I plastered a mom-smile on my face, ignoring the concern that her trust and matter-of-factness stirred in my gut. She believed in me. And there was nothing worse than letting your kid down. Nothing. “Why don’t you go wash your hands and put your things in your room?”
She hopped off the counter, the soles of her Mary Janes thudding on the tile floor. “Am I going with Dad tonight?”
Will glanced from Em to me, and I could see he was up for it. I shook my head. “No, Aunt Bryn wants to have a sleepover.”
“Why don’t I take her now,” Will said, “and then I’ll drive her over to Bryn’s after dinner.”
I hesitated, suddenly not wanting to be left alone after the day I’d had. But Emma loved her father so much. I couldn’t say no. “All right, but make sure she does her homework.”
“I’m taking my DS and my iPod!” Emma yelled, running from the room and pounding up the steps. I followed at a more sedate pace, picking up the backpack she’d let fall on the kitchen floor. Will stopped me with a hand on my arm. “You sure it’s okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” But I didn’t feel fine; I felt torn apart and downright sluggish as I followed my daughter up the stairs.
I packed Em’s clothes while she washed up. When she came into her bedroom, I patted the bed. “Hey, kid, I want to ask you something.”
The mattress dipped with her weight. Then she noticed the backpack and frowned. “Mom.” I sighed as she unzipped the bag and pulled out all of the clothes I’d just packed. “I can pack myself. And I hate these underwear and these socks.” She went to her dresser and rooted through drawers, shoving clothing into her backpack without folding. “So, what’s going on?” she asked over her shoulder, turning her attention to the small stack of DS games on her desk.
Emma and I had a
I hated that his scent evoked so much history between us. We’d spent our young adulthood together, built a life together. Two nineteen-year-olds facing the world. As a team. It hurt just to look at him. In the last six months, he’d succeeded brilliantly in his career, but was it on his own merits? He claimed to have quit practicing after that night. Friends, family, everyone believed him. And I guess I did, too, or else I’d never allow Emma to spend time with him. I also knew that he never meant for things to get so out of hand, but there was a mountain of emotional obstacles for us to overcome. He wanted too much, too fast.
I had to learn to trust him again. And right now, that seemed impossible.
With a determined gaze, he moved toward me, not stopping until his mouth was on mine. I sucked in a small, surprised gasp, pulling his warm breath inside me without meaning to. He kissed me hard and meaningfully. No tongue, but with so much emotion that tears welled in my eyes. I knew he loved me, and his sorrow and regret tore me in half.
The squeal of bus brakes broke us apart.
Grateful for the reprieve, I sidestepped my ex-husband, straightened my shirt, and redid my hair as Will went to the sink and splashed water onto his face. He was just as shaken as I was.
The entire visit had rattled me to the bone. Emma and I had been doing just fine on our own. We’d settled into a comfortable routine in the last few months, had pushed past the initial hurt of divorce and were moving forward. Damn him!
He dried off and then finished the bottle of water as Emma came through the door.
“Daddy!”
Like magic, the dark aura of emotion surrounding him lifted and a wide, genuine grin split his handsome face. For a moment, it was as if they were the only two people in the world.
“Hey, you. How’s my girl?” He set her on the counter.
“Fine.” Her brown eyes grew larger and more serious. “Amanda is in the hospital.” Her confident gaze flicked to me. “But Mom’s going to help her.”
Tall order, Charlie. I plastered a mom-smile on my face, ignoring the concern that her trust and matter-of-factness stirred in my gut. She believed in me. And there was nothing worse than letting your kid down. Nothing. “Why don’t you go wash your hands and put your things in your room?”
She hopped off the counter, the soles of her Mary Janes thudding on the tile floor. “Am I going with Dad tonight?”
Will glanced from Em to me, and I could see he was up for it. I shook my head. “No, Aunt Bryn wants to have a sleepover.”
“Why don’t I take her now,” Will said, “and then I’ll drive her over to Bryn’s after dinner.”
I hesitated, suddenly not wanting to be left alone after the day I’d had. But Emma loved her father so much. I couldn’t say no. “All right, but make sure she does her homework.”
“I’m taking my DS and my iPod!” Emma yelled, running from the room and pounding up the steps. I followed at a more sedate pace, picking up the backpack she’d let fall on the kitchen floor. Will stopped me with a hand on my arm. “You sure it’s okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” But I didn’t feel fine; I felt torn apart and downright sluggish as I followed my daughter up the stairs.
I packed Em’s clothes while she washed up. When she came into her bedroom, I patted the bed. “Hey, kid, I want to ask you something.”
The mattress dipped with her weight. Then she noticed the backpack and frowned. “Mom.” I sighed as she unzipped the bag and pulled out all of the clothes I’d just packed. “I can pack myself. And I hate these underwear and these socks.” She went to her dresser and rooted through drawers, shoving clothing into her backpack without folding. “So, what’s going on?” she asked over her shoulder, turning her attention to the small stack of DS games on her desk.
Emma and I had a
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