around here. Word gets out about me and I’ll not only get my butt kicked at school, I’ll get crucified at home and thrown out into the street.” He reached over and grabbed my wrist. “I’m begging you, Jerry. Please. If you’re really my friend, please don’t tell anybody about me.”
Hutch looked desperately afraid, and for a second, I worried that he was going to crack and break down right in front of me. “Hey, cool it, man. Take it easy,” I said, raising my hands in a calming gesture. “You don’t have to pour it on so thick. I am your friend, and I’m not saying anything to anybody about this. I get it, Hutch. I’m down with the cause now.”
Hutch sort of froze, the panic bumped off his face by confusion. “Down with what cause?”
“You know. The homosexual agenda. I’m on board with you.”
I could see him hesitate, still confused, weighing his response in his head before speaking. “Jerry, are you telling me that you’re gay?”
“Well… yeah. I am.” Sort of. I was a homosexual work in progress.
Now Hutch looked surprised. “ You’re gay?” he asked again, his voice weighted with doubt.
I nodded. “Believe it, man.”
There was a long silence, in which we exchanged penetrating looks. Finally, Hutch seemed to relax a little. “Maybe I should get mad at you now, huh? Why didn’t you tell me about you before now, friend ?”
“Hey, this gay thing is all new to me.”
He shrugged as if he understood, and the issue was no big deal. “I know. It’s kind of scary when you first come out to yourself.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I said with a little laugh.
“Well, when did you first accept being gay?”
“Sunday.”
“ Yesterday ?”
“Yeah. Yesterday.”
“Wow. Does anybody else know, besides me?”
“No.” Something in the back of my mind kept me from telling him about Dylan.
“So, you haven’t told your girlfriend yet?”
“My who?” Yes, I realize that was a dumb response. But at the time, the last thing I wanted to think about was any girl.
Hutch smirked. “Your girlfriend. The lovely Lissandra. The one you can’t keep your hands off of. Remember her?”
“No. Let’s talk about something else. Are you, like… dating anybody?”
He shook his head sadly. “I want to. The MLGBT Teen Society throws a party once a month. I’ve met some nice guys there and made some really good friends, but I’m not ready to go out with another dude. I’m afraid somebody from school or church will see us and spread the word.”
I got a really strong urge then to put my arms around Hutch and give him one of those long, tight, rocking-from-side-to-side hugs you got from your grandmother when you were a little kid and you fell down and scraped your knee. He looked so lonely, and I could only imagine how painful it was for him knowing that his parents hated him so much they were ready to toss him out like trash if he set one foot over the line they had drawn around his life. Hell, my parents were as religious as anybody else in town, and I’d done things in the past (and would most likely do things in the future) that made them want to strap me on the nosecone of a rocket and fire it off to the moon, but I knew without a doubt that they loved me. They’d never beat me with their fists or kick me out of the house, no matter what I did with another guy. I wanted to hold Hutch. I wanted to protect him somehow from all the pain in his life.
I didn’t touch him, however. I was afraid to. Instead, I flashed a big, hearty grin at him. Excitement flashed through me, and I said, “Maybe you and I should give it a shot.”
“Give what a shot?”
“Dating.”
“Dating?” A second later, the puzzled look on Hutch’s face gave way to something like shock. “You mean… like, date each other?”
“Sure. Why not?”
There followed another moment of silence between us as we looked at each other. We were sharing the same thought. That became apparent when Hutch said,
Hutch looked desperately afraid, and for a second, I worried that he was going to crack and break down right in front of me. “Hey, cool it, man. Take it easy,” I said, raising my hands in a calming gesture. “You don’t have to pour it on so thick. I am your friend, and I’m not saying anything to anybody about this. I get it, Hutch. I’m down with the cause now.”
Hutch sort of froze, the panic bumped off his face by confusion. “Down with what cause?”
“You know. The homosexual agenda. I’m on board with you.”
I could see him hesitate, still confused, weighing his response in his head before speaking. “Jerry, are you telling me that you’re gay?”
“Well… yeah. I am.” Sort of. I was a homosexual work in progress.
Now Hutch looked surprised. “ You’re gay?” he asked again, his voice weighted with doubt.
I nodded. “Believe it, man.”
There was a long silence, in which we exchanged penetrating looks. Finally, Hutch seemed to relax a little. “Maybe I should get mad at you now, huh? Why didn’t you tell me about you before now, friend ?”
“Hey, this gay thing is all new to me.”
He shrugged as if he understood, and the issue was no big deal. “I know. It’s kind of scary when you first come out to yourself.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I said with a little laugh.
“Well, when did you first accept being gay?”
“Sunday.”
“ Yesterday ?”
“Yeah. Yesterday.”
“Wow. Does anybody else know, besides me?”
“No.” Something in the back of my mind kept me from telling him about Dylan.
“So, you haven’t told your girlfriend yet?”
“My who?” Yes, I realize that was a dumb response. But at the time, the last thing I wanted to think about was any girl.
Hutch smirked. “Your girlfriend. The lovely Lissandra. The one you can’t keep your hands off of. Remember her?”
“No. Let’s talk about something else. Are you, like… dating anybody?”
He shook his head sadly. “I want to. The MLGBT Teen Society throws a party once a month. I’ve met some nice guys there and made some really good friends, but I’m not ready to go out with another dude. I’m afraid somebody from school or church will see us and spread the word.”
I got a really strong urge then to put my arms around Hutch and give him one of those long, tight, rocking-from-side-to-side hugs you got from your grandmother when you were a little kid and you fell down and scraped your knee. He looked so lonely, and I could only imagine how painful it was for him knowing that his parents hated him so much they were ready to toss him out like trash if he set one foot over the line they had drawn around his life. Hell, my parents were as religious as anybody else in town, and I’d done things in the past (and would most likely do things in the future) that made them want to strap me on the nosecone of a rocket and fire it off to the moon, but I knew without a doubt that they loved me. They’d never beat me with their fists or kick me out of the house, no matter what I did with another guy. I wanted to hold Hutch. I wanted to protect him somehow from all the pain in his life.
I didn’t touch him, however. I was afraid to. Instead, I flashed a big, hearty grin at him. Excitement flashed through me, and I said, “Maybe you and I should give it a shot.”
“Give what a shot?”
“Dating.”
“Dating?” A second later, the puzzled look on Hutch’s face gave way to something like shock. “You mean… like, date each other?”
“Sure. Why not?”
There followed another moment of silence between us as we looked at each other. We were sharing the same thought. That became apparent when Hutch said,
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