Read Online The Bad Karma Diaries by Bridget Hourican - Free Book Online Page A

gonna post on our blog. She insisted on doing it in my house because she said if we did it in hers everyone would get involved and Renata would rewrite it. This is undoubtedly true.
    We looked up loads of blogs to get ideas.
    Anna said, ‘You need loads of photos.’
    ‘Yeah, and not too much writing,’ I said.
    ‘Yeah, and a kind of a babyish style’ said Anna.
    ‘Yeah, a kind of an exclamation mark style!’ I said, because it’s true, lots of blogs seem to be written like eight-year-olds exclaiming.
    ‘ Not in O’Toole-approved style!’ said Anna. We were ages uploading it, and we had loads of fights about it, but we also had hysterics laughing. So this is what we ended up with:
    I’m Bomb
    [photo of Anna with a hat coming down over her face so you can’t recognise her]
    and I’m Demise
    [photo of me bending down with my head between my legs so all you can see is my back and hair. This a) hides my face and b) shows how bendy I am. I am extremely naturally bendy. For instance, if I sit down cross-legged I can suck my toes!]
    Bombs cause demises so I’m the boss of her .
    [photo of Anna sitting on my shoulders – only showing our backs.]
    We like:
    Music!
    [photo of our CD collections – pride of place, Kanye West and Lady Gaga (me); Daft Punk and The Doors (Anna) She ishighly influenced by Tommy and John so she likes really old music by people who died really young.]
    Books!
    [photo of our books – pride of place, To Kill a Mockingbird and His Dark Materials (me), Crime and Punishment (Anna)]
    We are interested in:
    Saving the environment!
    [picture of cows, and underneath this caption:
    ‘Did you know that cows’ farts release methane gas that damages the ozone!? What do YOU think should be done about this?’ ]
    Fighting injustice!
    [We don’t have a photo for this yet. Anna thinks we should put up a photo of Pierce looking nasty, but I think this could be A Step Too Far]
    The animals we most resemble are:
    [photo of a chipmunk and arrow saying:
    Bomb!
    Photo of a frog and arrow saying:
    Demise!
    It is quite hard to admit we look like a chipmunk and a frog. We would rather look like a stallion or an Irish wolfhound (Anna), or a black panther or an ocelot (me). But the sad truth is we could not look less like a stallion or a black panther. Guess who decided which animals we looked like? Yep, you got it, Renata. We were wondering about it in Anna’s kitchen one day,after reading His Dark Materials . We were saying what would our daemon be. (This is the same as saying what animal do I look like).
    Renata suddenly went off into her horrible cackle of laughter over all our suggestions, and then she said, ‘ You (pointing at Anna) look like a chipmunk, and you (pointing at me) look like a frog.’
    ‘Chipmunk!’ – ‘Frog!’ we howled.
    Renata gave her evil, sparkly smile, ‘Yes, you are small and dark and you’re always collecting, amassing , things, but you’ve got a dirty temper and you bite , just like a chipmunk, and you have googly eyes and skinny arms and legs and you can’t keep still .’
    We waited, and ‘Oh, Renata!’ said her mother.
    But after a bit Anna said, well chipmunks are cute, and I said, well frogs are really bendy, they can do the splits! And since then we have become attached to our animals.
     
    We are in business:
    Organising children’s parties!
    [lots of photos from Conor’s party yesterday that we took]
     
    Now read our weekly blog!
    [account of Supermodel’s birthday party, quite like account I already wrote so I don’t need to repeat it here]
     
    We don’t use loads of exclamation marks!!!! and question marks????? because we think they look stupid. And we’re not writing in text-speak like, ‘u r 4real & u r gr8’ cause we hate text-speak. We considered writing the whole blog in predictive text, but it seemed like too much hard work for our readers.
    Anna says we have to at least try to keep this blog a secret from people, especially our parents, because,