Read Online The Baby by Lisa Drakeford - Free Book Online

she walks quickly along the pavement which she’s used since she was seven years old. Past the hawthorn hedge, along the parade of shops now empty except for the supermarket, which pours a blue light on the stretch of road. Then around the corner of the cul-de-sac where Olivia lives. One, two, three houses, and then Olivia’s, lit up like a Christmas tree. Four windows of orange light andan outside lamp.
    She stands at the front door. Holds her breath, fills her lungs with anxious oxygen. And before she can think about it she presses the doorbell. Her finger wobbles.
    Thirty seconds or so pass in which she sees shadows and hears laughter from behind the frosted glass of the front door. This house is hardly ever silent. It feels like there is almost always life inside it. It’s a stark contrast to the hush of her own.
    Olivia’s dad opens the door. The smile which cracks his face heartens Nicola. ‘Hello stranger,’ he says, his eyes sparkling. ‘How’s my favourite crazy teenager?’
    No mention, she notices, of the last time she was here. She gulps down a strange sensation when she realizes that she’s about to enter the house where she gave birth to Eliza.
    Olivia’s mum peers over her husband’s shoulder. She’s smiling, but Nicola can feel an awkwardness rock under her ribs when she remembers the last time that they met. ‘How are you, sweetheart?’ She looks past Nicola as if to enquire where the baby might be. ‘How’s the little one?’
    â€˜She’s fine. Thanks, by the way … for what you did.’
    Olivia’s mum half smiles in a way which makes Nicola think of Olivia. ‘That’s OK. You’ll have to bring her over sometime. I’d love to meet her properly.’
    Nicola flexes her foot against the front step. ‘I will do. One day, when she’s not asleep. Is Olivia in?’
    Olivia’s dad widens the door. ‘Sure. She’s in her bedroom.’ He nods at the stairs. ‘Go on up.’
    It feels odd walking up the stairs. She hasn’t done this forseven weeks. Is it weird to miss stairs?
    At the top, she forces herself to knock and turn the handle on Olivia’s bedroom door, next to the bathroom. The bathroom where her baby was born. She pushes the thought to one side. If she doesn’t do it now then she might just walk right back down the stairs and forget about the whole exercise. Possibly for ever.
    She pokes her head around the door and fixes a smile upon her lips. ‘Hi.’
    Olivia’s on the floor. Her back against the radiator, her laptop on her knees. A glow of unflattering blue light patterns her face. The familiar smell of Olivia’s room fills Nicola’s lungs like honey and freshly baked biscuits. She could breathe it in for ever.
    Unsure of her welcome, she loiters in the doorway.
    Olivia shifts the laptop off her knees, straightening her legs as she does so. ‘Oh, hi.’
    â€˜Can I come in? Are you busy?’
    Flickers of emotion pass over Olivia’s eyes. Nicola wishes she could read them. But they’re too quick and the light isn’t that good.
    â€˜No. I’m OK. Come in.’ She nods to the bed for Nicola to sit.
    There are several seconds of agony between them. Above everything, Nicola regrets this. Never, in all their years of friendship, has there been awkwardness like this.
    She can hear Alice speaking to her animals across the landing and some sounds of the TV downstairs. She kneads the quilt on the bed with her fists. Her hair falls over her cheeks.There are hundreds of words to speak, but she can’t manage to say any of them.
    She nods at the doorway. ‘Your sister has been coming over.’
    Olivia rolls her eyes. ‘Yeah. Is she making a nuisance of herself?’ Her hands move about nervously.
    There’s another silence and then Nicola shrugs. ‘No, she’s great. She’s actually a big