Nanaâs bedroom was down there and, across from it, a back door that led to the freight elevator and the fire stairs. Staring down the hall, he was thinking about seeing Zach on Friday. Zach in his skull mask. And Tiffany. Goddamned Tiffany , he was thinking. Goddamned Tiffany.
âAnd heâs seeing his doctor, his psychiatrist,â Nana said over her shoulder.
âWell, I didnât ask him but I guess so. He looked happy, Nana. He looked fine.â
âWell, as long as heâs not taking those ⦠horrible, horrible drugs â¦â
He had wandered back along the sofa now to where he could see her from the side. He saw her shudder, her hands clasping each other. He saw her shake her head at those nasty old drugs, her lips pressed together tight. He smiled sadly with one corner of his mouth. Sometimes, some moments like that, she was just his mother to the life. The same birdlike tremolos. The same ardent, wide-eyed worries; her sacred fears. That wringing movement of the handsâhe could remember his mom doing that. Oh, donât let Zachary get too cold, Ollie. He wanted to throw his body around the old woman, to fend off the hovering archangel.
She had the same heart as his mother too. The same problem: Thatâs where Mom got it from. Normally, it can be kept fairly stable, the doctor had told him. But itâs unpredictable. The valve can close suddenly and ⦠Perkins had to shut his eyes a moment to fight off that last image of his mother. The way heâd found her: stretched out on her side between the sofa and the coffee table. Her short hair spilled over her cheek. Her thin arm flung out over her head. The saucer upside down on the rug and the cup on its side and the small spurt-stain of tea on the white shag. A weak valve. The same damn thing.
âReally, Nana,â he heard himself say. âDo me a favor: donât get all upset over nothing.â
âWell, but, Ollie, thatâs what I always do.â
âWell, but, Nana, it isnât good for you. Jesus.â
She tried to draw herself up, but sagged again almost at once under her anxieties. âWell, why did Tiffany say the mews? She said you had to go to the mews.â
âOh ⦠Tiffany.â
âWell, sheâs worried about him, poor thing.â
âWell, she shouldâve waited. She shouldnâtâve called you. Iâdâve plugged my phone in eventually.â He muttered this. He knew Nana liked Tiffany. The closest thing she had to a granddaughter-in-law. Still. âShe shouldâve kept trying,â he muttered again.
âBut she was very specific,â Nana insisted. âShe said you had to go to the mews. She said she was sure he must be there.â
âI know, I know.â
âAnd thatâs where he always went to take the drugs. So why would she say that, Ollie?â
âForget it, Nana, really.â God damn Tiffany , he thought. âHeâs not on the drugs. I just saw him.â
âI wish someone would buy that place,â she said, meaning the mews. She pressed her hands down on the blanket. The yellow strands of her hair trembled at her ears.
He walked over to her. He crouched down by her chair. She turned her head to him. Her thin, shriveled face. The loose flesh on it quivering. The water in her eyes threatening to overflow.
âIâm serious now,â he said to her. âYou keep this up, Iâm gonna have to start breaking some old lady bones. Youâve gotta calm down.â
âHe thinks too much,â Nana said. âThatâs his problem. Your mother was just like that. He thinks and he worries about nothing at all. All those strange books he reads. And all that talk about ⦠about God and salvation and I donât know what else.â She reached out weakly, patted his hand where it held to the arm of her chair. âThatâs why you were always such a comfort to me, Ollie. You
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