Read Online Tevye the Dairyman and the Railroad Stories by Sholem Aleichem - Free Book Online
Authors: Sholem Aleichem
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a stomach needs herring to fill it; herring won’t go down without tea; tea can’t be drunk without sugar; and sugar, my friend, costs a fortune. And my wife! “My guts,” says my wife, “can do without bread in the morning, but without a glass of tea I’m a stretcher case. That baby’s sucked the glue from my bones all night long!”
Well, one can’t stop being a Jew in this world: it was time for the evening prayer. (Not that the evening was about to go anywhere, but a Jew prays when he must, not when he wants to.) Some fine prayer it turned out to be! Right in the middle of the
shimenesre
, the eighteen benedictions, a devil gets into my crazy horse and he decides to go for a pleasure jaunt. I had to run after the wagon and grab the reins while shouting “God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” at the top of my voice—and to make matters worse I’d really felt like praying for a change, for once in my life I was sure it would make me feel better …
In a word, there I was running behind the wagon and singing the
shimenesre
like a cantor in a synagogue.
Mekhalkeyl khayim, bekhesed
, Who provideth life with His bounty—it better be all of life, do You hear me?…
Umekayeym emunosoy lisheyney of or
, Who keep-eth faith with them who slumber in earth—who slumber in earth? With my troubles I was six feet underground already! And to think of those rich Yehupetz Jews sitting all summer long in their dachas in Boiberik, eating and drinking and swimming in luxury! Master of the Universe, what have I done to deserve all this? Am I or am I not a Jew like any other? Help!…
Re’ey-no be’onyeynu
, See us in our affliction—take a good look at us poor folk slaving away and do something about it, because if You don’t, just who do You think will?…
Refo’eynu veneyrofey
, Heal our wounds and make us whole—please concentrate on the healing because the wounds we already have …
Boreykh oleynu
, Bless the fruits of this year—kindly arrange a good harvest of corn, wheat, and barley, although what good it will do me is more than I can say: does it make any difference to my horse, I ask You, if the oats I can’t afford to buy him are expensive or cheap?
But God doesn’t tell a man what He thinks, and a Jew had better believe that He knows what He’s up to.
Velamalshinim al tehi tikvoh
, May the slanderers have no hope—those are all the big shots who say there is no God: what wouldn’t I give to see the look on their faces when they line up for Judgment Day! They’ll pay with back interest for everything they’ve done, because God has a long memory, one doesn’t play around with Him. No, what He wants is for us to be good, to beseech and cry out to Him …
Ov harakhamon
, Merciful, loving Father!…
Shma koyleynu
—You better listen to what we tell You!…
Khus verakheym oleynu
—pay a little attention to my wife and children, the poor things are hungry!…
Retsey
—take decent care of Your people again, as once You did long ago in the days of our Temple, when the priests and the Levites sacrificed before You …
All of a sudden—whoaaa! My horse stopped short in his tracks. I rushed through what was left of the prayer, opened my eyes, and looked around me. Two weird figures, dressed for a masquerade, were approaching from the forest. “Robbers!” I thought at first, then caught myself. Tevye, I said, what an idiot you are! Do you mean to tell me that after traveling through this forest by day and by night for so many years, today is the day for robbers? And bravely smacking my horse on the rear as though it were no affair of mine, I cried, “Giddyap!”
“Hey, a fellow Jew!” one of the two terrors called out to me in a woman’s voice, waving a scarf at me. “Don’t run away, mister. Wait a second. We won’t do you any harm.”
It’s a ghost for sure! I told myself. But a moment later I thought, what kind of monkey business is this, Tevye? Since when are you so afraid of
Well, one can’t stop being a Jew in this world: it was time for the evening prayer. (Not that the evening was about to go anywhere, but a Jew prays when he must, not when he wants to.) Some fine prayer it turned out to be! Right in the middle of the
shimenesre
, the eighteen benedictions, a devil gets into my crazy horse and he decides to go for a pleasure jaunt. I had to run after the wagon and grab the reins while shouting “God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” at the top of my voice—and to make matters worse I’d really felt like praying for a change, for once in my life I was sure it would make me feel better …
In a word, there I was running behind the wagon and singing the
shimenesre
like a cantor in a synagogue.
Mekhalkeyl khayim, bekhesed
, Who provideth life with His bounty—it better be all of life, do You hear me?…
Umekayeym emunosoy lisheyney of or
, Who keep-eth faith with them who slumber in earth—who slumber in earth? With my troubles I was six feet underground already! And to think of those rich Yehupetz Jews sitting all summer long in their dachas in Boiberik, eating and drinking and swimming in luxury! Master of the Universe, what have I done to deserve all this? Am I or am I not a Jew like any other? Help!…
Re’ey-no be’onyeynu
, See us in our affliction—take a good look at us poor folk slaving away and do something about it, because if You don’t, just who do You think will?…
Refo’eynu veneyrofey
, Heal our wounds and make us whole—please concentrate on the healing because the wounds we already have …
Boreykh oleynu
, Bless the fruits of this year—kindly arrange a good harvest of corn, wheat, and barley, although what good it will do me is more than I can say: does it make any difference to my horse, I ask You, if the oats I can’t afford to buy him are expensive or cheap?
But God doesn’t tell a man what He thinks, and a Jew had better believe that He knows what He’s up to.
Velamalshinim al tehi tikvoh
, May the slanderers have no hope—those are all the big shots who say there is no God: what wouldn’t I give to see the look on their faces when they line up for Judgment Day! They’ll pay with back interest for everything they’ve done, because God has a long memory, one doesn’t play around with Him. No, what He wants is for us to be good, to beseech and cry out to Him …
Ov harakhamon
, Merciful, loving Father!…
Shma koyleynu
—You better listen to what we tell You!…
Khus verakheym oleynu
—pay a little attention to my wife and children, the poor things are hungry!…
Retsey
—take decent care of Your people again, as once You did long ago in the days of our Temple, when the priests and the Levites sacrificed before You …
All of a sudden—whoaaa! My horse stopped short in his tracks. I rushed through what was left of the prayer, opened my eyes, and looked around me. Two weird figures, dressed for a masquerade, were approaching from the forest. “Robbers!” I thought at first, then caught myself. Tevye, I said, what an idiot you are! Do you mean to tell me that after traveling through this forest by day and by night for so many years, today is the day for robbers? And bravely smacking my horse on the rear as though it were no affair of mine, I cried, “Giddyap!”
“Hey, a fellow Jew!” one of the two terrors called out to me in a woman’s voice, waving a scarf at me. “Don’t run away, mister. Wait a second. We won’t do you any harm.”
It’s a ghost for sure! I told myself. But a moment later I thought, what kind of monkey business is this, Tevye? Since when are you so afraid of