Read Online Terminal Experiment by Robert J. Sawyer - Free Book Online

sighed. “It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.”
    “How did he take it?”
    “He was devastated. I’ve never seen him so shaken.”
    “Did he get angry?”
    “He was furious. But he was also very sad.”
    “Did he hit you?”
    “What? No. No, he’s not an abusive husband — not at all.”
    “Neither physically nor verbally?”
    “That’s right. He’s always been very good to me.”
    “But you cheated on him.”
    “Yes.”
    “Why?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Now that you’ve told your husband,” said Danita, “how do you feel?”
    Cathy thought for a moment, then shrugged slightly. “Better. Worse. I don’t know.”
    “Did you expect your husband to forgive you?”
    “No,” said Cathy. “No, trust is very important to Peter — and to me. I … I expected our marriage to be over.”
    “And is it?”
    Cathy looked out the window. “I don’t know.”
    “Do you want it to be?”
    “No — absolutely not. But — but I want Peter to be happy. He deserves better.”
    Danita nodded. “Did he tell you that?”
    “No, of course not. But it’s true.”
    “True that he deserves better?”
    Cathy nodded.
    “You seem to be a fine person. Why would you say that?”
    Cathy said nothing.
    Danita leaned back in her chair. “Has your marriage always been good?”
    “Oh, yes.”
    “Never any separations or anything like that?”
    “No — well, we broke up once while we were dating.”
    “Oh? Why?”
    A small shrug. “I’m not sure. We’d been dating for close to a year while still in university. Then one day, I just broke up with him.”
    “And you don’t know why?”
    Cathy looked out the window again, as if drawing power from the sunlight. She closed her eyes. “I guess … I don’t know, guess I couldn’t believe anyone could love me so unconditionally.”
    “And so you pushed him away?”
    She nodded slowly. “I guess so.”
    “Are you pushing him away again? Is that what your infidelity is about, Cathy?”
    “Maybe,” she said slowly. “Maybe.”
    Danita leaned slightly forward. “Why do you think no one could love you?” she said.
    “I don’t know. I mean, I know Peter loves me. We’ve been together for a long time, and that’s been the one absolute constant in my life. I know it. But, still, even after all these years, I have trouble believing it.”
    “Why?”
    An infinitesimal lifting of shoulders. “Because of who I am.”
    “And who are you?”
    “I’m — I’m nothing. Nothing special.”
    Danita steepled her fingers. “It sounds like you’re not very confident.”
    Cathy considered this. “I guess I’m not.”
    “But you say you went to university?”
    “Oh, yes. I made the dean’s list.”
    “And your job — do you do well at that?”
    “I guess. I’ve been promoted several times. But it’s not a hard job.”
    “Still, it sounds like you’ve done just fine over the years.”
    “I suppose,” said Cathy. “But none of that matters.”
    Danita raised her eyebrows. “What’s your definition of something that matters?”
    “I don’t know. Something people notice.”
    “Something
which
people notice?”
    “Just people.”
    “Does your husband — Peter, is it? Does Peter notice when you achieve something?”
    “Oh, yes. I do ceramic art as a hobby — you should have seen him bubbling over when I had a showing at a small gallery last year. He’s always been like that, boosting me — right from the beginning. He threw a surprise party for me when I graduated with honors.”
    “And were you proud of yourself for that?”
    “I was glad university was finally over.”
    “Was your family proud of you?”
    “I suppose.”
    “Your mother?”
    “Yes. Yes, I guess she was. She came to my graduation.”
    “What about your father?”
    “No, he didn’t attend.”
    “Was he proud of you?”
    A short, sharp laugh.
    “Tell me, Cathy: was your father proud of you?”
    “Sure.” Something strained in her voice.
    “Really?”
    “I