Read Online Tears Fall at Night - smashwords by Vanessa Miller - Free Book Online
Authors: Vanessa Miller
Tags: Fiction & Literature
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us worried yesterday. But you’re looking more alert today.”
Her teenaged son sounded so grown up, as if he had aged overnight. What was she doing with herself? Why was she lying in this bed and letting her children worry about her, when she should be the one worrying about them, like mothers normally do?
“Mom?” Joy’s voice held concern after Carmella didn’t respond to Dontae. “Are you okay?”
An involuntary tear rolled down her face as she said, “I’m trying to be.”
“Dad fixed the faucet,” Dontae told her in an upbeat tone.
Joy grabbed hold of her mother’s hand and squeezed. “He paid the bills, too, Mom. So, you won’t have to worry about that when you come home.”
“Did he say if he was coming back home?” Carmella asked, hating herself for even needing to ask something like that, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted her husband and her life back.
“He didn’t stay at the house last night, but I’m sure he’ll come back home, Mama. You just have to keep the faith, like you always tell us. Isn’t that right, Joy?” Dontae looked to his big sister for support.
“Stop doing this to yourself, Dontae.” She moved him away from the bed and told him to sit down. Joy then turned back to her mother and said, “Dad said that he’s going to pay the bills for another three months, but after that you are on your own. I’m sorry to tell you this so flat out, but I don’t want you to keep your hopes up for a man who may never come back to you.”
“What else am I supposed to do, Joy? I’ve been married to your father for twenty-five years. My parents and my brother are gone… he’s all I have.”
Joy sat down next to her mother’s bed and held onto her hand. “That’s not true, Mama. You’ve got me and Dontae. And we will never leave you.”
Tears sprang to Carmella’s eyes. Her children brought her so much joy, and she never meant to insinuate that they weren’t enough. As Joy and Dontae grew, she and Nelson made sure that they had all they needed and then some. From vacations to cars and education… you name it, her children had it, because Carmella required no less. She and her brother grew up in poverty. Carmella never wanted her children to experience the pain and embarrassment of being financially broke. But now she had allowed them to see her emotionally broken. As tears continued to fall down her face, Carmella wondered which was worse.
“Don’t cry, Mama. I’m a dope. I shouldn’t have said any of that to you today.” Joy put her head in her hand and shook it.
“What Joy is trying to say is that we just want you to get better. Don’t worry about what Daddy’s doing. And you don’t need to worry about the bills either because they’ve been paid,” Dontae said.
There he was sounding all grown up again. Just two months ago she couldn’t get him to stop playing his video games long enough to take out the trash, now he was admonishing her to keep the faith and encouraging her to worry less. Pretty soon he’d be leaving home, headed off to Harvard, his dad’s alma mater. Carmella had imagined that she would convince Nelson to travel the world with her once Dontae was settled in college… she wiped away the tears, hating the fact that Nelson’s betrayal hurt so much. “I’m sorry about losing it the way I did. Seeing your father with Jasmine just caused something to snap inside of me.”
“It’s been hard on you, Mom, we know that,” Dontae encouraged.
But Carmella lifted a hand, stopping him from saying anything further. “I don’t care how hard this is on me. I’m ashamed of myself for allowing you and your sister to see me like this. All I can do is apologize for what I’ve done and make a promise to both of you that once I get out of here, I’ll never lose it like this again.” Carmella had no idea how she would keep that promise, but she knew she had to say something to reassure her children.
The door opened and Rose walked in.
Her teenaged son sounded so grown up, as if he had aged overnight. What was she doing with herself? Why was she lying in this bed and letting her children worry about her, when she should be the one worrying about them, like mothers normally do?
“Mom?” Joy’s voice held concern after Carmella didn’t respond to Dontae. “Are you okay?”
An involuntary tear rolled down her face as she said, “I’m trying to be.”
“Dad fixed the faucet,” Dontae told her in an upbeat tone.
Joy grabbed hold of her mother’s hand and squeezed. “He paid the bills, too, Mom. So, you won’t have to worry about that when you come home.”
“Did he say if he was coming back home?” Carmella asked, hating herself for even needing to ask something like that, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted her husband and her life back.
“He didn’t stay at the house last night, but I’m sure he’ll come back home, Mama. You just have to keep the faith, like you always tell us. Isn’t that right, Joy?” Dontae looked to his big sister for support.
“Stop doing this to yourself, Dontae.” She moved him away from the bed and told him to sit down. Joy then turned back to her mother and said, “Dad said that he’s going to pay the bills for another three months, but after that you are on your own. I’m sorry to tell you this so flat out, but I don’t want you to keep your hopes up for a man who may never come back to you.”
“What else am I supposed to do, Joy? I’ve been married to your father for twenty-five years. My parents and my brother are gone… he’s all I have.”
Joy sat down next to her mother’s bed and held onto her hand. “That’s not true, Mama. You’ve got me and Dontae. And we will never leave you.”
Tears sprang to Carmella’s eyes. Her children brought her so much joy, and she never meant to insinuate that they weren’t enough. As Joy and Dontae grew, she and Nelson made sure that they had all they needed and then some. From vacations to cars and education… you name it, her children had it, because Carmella required no less. She and her brother grew up in poverty. Carmella never wanted her children to experience the pain and embarrassment of being financially broke. But now she had allowed them to see her emotionally broken. As tears continued to fall down her face, Carmella wondered which was worse.
“Don’t cry, Mama. I’m a dope. I shouldn’t have said any of that to you today.” Joy put her head in her hand and shook it.
“What Joy is trying to say is that we just want you to get better. Don’t worry about what Daddy’s doing. And you don’t need to worry about the bills either because they’ve been paid,” Dontae said.
There he was sounding all grown up again. Just two months ago she couldn’t get him to stop playing his video games long enough to take out the trash, now he was admonishing her to keep the faith and encouraging her to worry less. Pretty soon he’d be leaving home, headed off to Harvard, his dad’s alma mater. Carmella had imagined that she would convince Nelson to travel the world with her once Dontae was settled in college… she wiped away the tears, hating the fact that Nelson’s betrayal hurt so much. “I’m sorry about losing it the way I did. Seeing your father with Jasmine just caused something to snap inside of me.”
“It’s been hard on you, Mom, we know that,” Dontae encouraged.
But Carmella lifted a hand, stopping him from saying anything further. “I don’t care how hard this is on me. I’m ashamed of myself for allowing you and your sister to see me like this. All I can do is apologize for what I’ve done and make a promise to both of you that once I get out of here, I’ll never lose it like this again.” Carmella had no idea how she would keep that promise, but she knew she had to say something to reassure her children.
The door opened and Rose walked in.
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