Read Online Tears Fall at Night - smashwords by Vanessa Miller - Free Book Online Page A

“Well, don’t you look alert this morning.”
    Carmella gave her friend a questioning glance. “Were you here yesterday?”
    “You know it. The kids and I spent the day with you.”
    “Aunt Rose did more than spend the day with you. She sent us home and spent the evening in here praying for you,” Joy told her mother.
    “Is that true, Rose?”
    Rose shrugged. “I didn’t do anything that you wouldn’t have done for me.”
    “I don’t even remember anything about yesterday. Except that I felt as if I was in a fog and couldn’t get out.”
    “That was because of all the meds they had you on. But Aunt Rose told me to make them stop medicating you,” Joy told her mother. “We knew you’d feel better once you could think straight.”
    Carmella hoped that her daughter was right about that. After seeing Nelson with that man- stealing woman-child, and being laughed at for coming to get her own husband, Carmella had lost it. It was good to be able to lay there and talk with her children and her best friend. They spent the morning talking and then the nurse came in and told Carmella that she was being released.
    “Thank the Lord,” Rose shouted.
    But Carmella didn’t feel much like thanking the Lord, because she felt as if the Lord had let her down. Where had He been when Nelson was stepping out on her? Why hadn’t the Lord allowed her to detect the clues that must have been there? And why had the Lord allowed Nelson to walk his narrow behind out of her life?
    She didn’t tell anyone how she was feeling. She just went home, climbed into her bed and lay there while Joy and Dontae fussed over her. The television was tuned in to the news and all of it seemed so depressing that Carmella couldn’t take anymore. She began channel surfing, hoping to find something to put her in a better mood.
    “Do you need anything?” Joy asked as she opened her bedroom door.
    “I don’t need anything, Joy. You just asked me that ten minutes ago. You and your brother need to chill. Go watch a movie or something.”
    “Okay, but if you need me, remember that I’m just downstairs.” Joy looked anxious as she closed the door.
    Carmella understood why her children were watching her like she was a kleptomaniac in a room full of fine china, but she needed time alone. She needed to think. Something she hadn’t allowed herself to do much of since Nelson packed his bags and left. Carmella had been acting as if her life was over. But in truth, she still had a great deal to live for. Carmella just needed to find a way to let what she had left be enough. So far she hadn’t figured out how to do that. But she was home and back in her right mind, so figuring out her new life would become priority number one, first thing in the morning. But tonight, she just wanted to veg out and watch television mindlessly for a few hours.
    As she switched from channel to channel, she happened upon a Christian station, which reminded her that she hadn’t been to church since this ordeal with Nelson began. Carmella didn’t want to be preached at or feel convicted tonight, so she switched to the next station. It was another Christian station. But this one was showcasing a gospel concert. Carmella loved gospel music and would spend all day in the kitchen cooking and praising God while her praise music vibrated against the walls.
    Recently though, when she’d gone into her beloved kitchen, it had only been to fix a quick meal, so she hadn’t bothered turning on her gospel music. Nor had she bothered to praise the Lord while she went about her day. As she lay there watching and listening to the video of Deitrick Haddon singing Well Done, she realized that even after all that had happened to her, she still wanted to make it to heaven and wanted to hear God say well done.
    As Deitrick asked, through song, if anyone wanted to see their loved ones again, tears dripped down Carmella’s face as she thought of her parents and her brother, the loved ones she had