they knew.”
“ It's
disturbing to think opinions like that still exist in this day and
age,” Alex said. “I'm sorry you've had no one to confide
in before now. I know from experience what a difficult secret this
is to live with.”
Chase shrugged. “It
doesn't bother me.”
“ I
think it does,” Alex said. “I think it bothers you a
lot, and that's why you don't want anyone to know.” Alex
drained his drink and set the glass down on the table in front of his
empty plate. “Fear can suffocate you, Chase, and prevent you
from living.”
“ I am living life,” Chase said. “Danni and I are getting
married next year and I'm happy. What more is there?”
“ The
other half of yourself,” Alex said. “You're only
allowing half of yourself to live and the other half – the half
you think you need to hide, is clawing at your insides to get out.”
“ It's
not as easy as you make it sound.”
“ I
never said it was easy, Chase. Life isn't meant to be easy, but you
should live it honestly – at least be honest with yourself and
Danni.” Alex stood up and started collecting their empty
plates from the table. Chase stood up with him to help and Alex
pressed his shoulder to the firm muscle of Chase's arm. He waited
until Chase met his gaze before he spoke. “This isn't a life
choice, like suddenly waking up one day and deciding you want to be a
vegetarian. This is part of who you are; who you were born to be.
It's only a negative if you allow it to be one.”
Chase carried an armload of
the dishes inside with Alex and set them on the granite counter top
beside the sink “Want me to rinse them before they go into the
dishwasher?”
“ No,
I want you to leave them where they are and do a shot with me,”
Alex said. He removed a bottle of Petron from a cabinet and two shot
glasses and started walking back out by the pool. Chase followed
Alex and stood beside him at the table where they'd eaten their
dinner.
“ You
drank the margaritas, so I guess it's safe to say you like tequila,”
Alex said.
Chase's
head was already fuzzy from what he'd consumed before and during
dinner; couldn't even remember the exact number of times he'd
refilled his glass. The idea of doing shots with Alex on top of
everything else made him nervous.
“ I'm
getting pretty drunk,” Chase said. “I should probably
head home before I get stupid.”
“ Stupid
how?” Alex asked, arching one eyebrow. He filled both shot
glasses and lifted one to his mouth, tossed the liquid into the back
of his throat, and set the empty glass onto the table.
Chase didn't say anything.
He stood there mindlessly staring at Alex with glassy-eyed wonder.
He watched Alex throw his head back and do the shot, wipe his lips
off with the back of his hand, then Alex met his gaze and stepped
closer. They were almost the same height, putting them eye to eye;
Alex's chest a few sparse inches from pressing into Chase's. Chase
had never let a man stand this close to him, so why was he allowing
Alex into his personal space like this?
Chase felt the warmth of
Alex's fingers fan over the soft hairs of his forearm, then slide up
to curl around the tight muscle of his bicep. A burst of heat shot
through him, like a blast of adrenaline that went straight to his
cock. He tried to get his feet to move backward and they wouldn't.
He needed space between them. His lungs ached from the breath he
just now realized he was holding.
“ I
think it's obvious I want you, Chase,” Alex said, his voice was
a whisper that fluttered over Chase's face like a soft caress. “And,
I'm pretty sure you want me, too, but I won't cross that line with
you until I know Danni is cool with it.”
Alex stepped away and Chase
staggered from the sudden loss of him. His hands went to his head,
as if preventing it from falling off his neck and shoulders.
“ Fuucck,”
Chase said in a breathy sigh, his gaze dropped to the patio stones
beneath his feet.
“ I
know, right?” Alex tossed the
“ It's
disturbing to think opinions like that still exist in this day and
age,” Alex said. “I'm sorry you've had no one to confide
in before now. I know from experience what a difficult secret this
is to live with.”
Chase shrugged. “It
doesn't bother me.”
“ I
think it does,” Alex said. “I think it bothers you a
lot, and that's why you don't want anyone to know.” Alex
drained his drink and set the glass down on the table in front of his
empty plate. “Fear can suffocate you, Chase, and prevent you
from living.”
“ I am living life,” Chase said. “Danni and I are getting
married next year and I'm happy. What more is there?”
“ The
other half of yourself,” Alex said. “You're only
allowing half of yourself to live and the other half – the half
you think you need to hide, is clawing at your insides to get out.”
“ It's
not as easy as you make it sound.”
“ I
never said it was easy, Chase. Life isn't meant to be easy, but you
should live it honestly – at least be honest with yourself and
Danni.” Alex stood up and started collecting their empty
plates from the table. Chase stood up with him to help and Alex
pressed his shoulder to the firm muscle of Chase's arm. He waited
until Chase met his gaze before he spoke. “This isn't a life
choice, like suddenly waking up one day and deciding you want to be a
vegetarian. This is part of who you are; who you were born to be.
It's only a negative if you allow it to be one.”
Chase carried an armload of
the dishes inside with Alex and set them on the granite counter top
beside the sink “Want me to rinse them before they go into the
dishwasher?”
“ No,
I want you to leave them where they are and do a shot with me,”
Alex said. He removed a bottle of Petron from a cabinet and two shot
glasses and started walking back out by the pool. Chase followed
Alex and stood beside him at the table where they'd eaten their
dinner.
“ You
drank the margaritas, so I guess it's safe to say you like tequila,”
Alex said.
Chase's
head was already fuzzy from what he'd consumed before and during
dinner; couldn't even remember the exact number of times he'd
refilled his glass. The idea of doing shots with Alex on top of
everything else made him nervous.
“ I'm
getting pretty drunk,” Chase said. “I should probably
head home before I get stupid.”
“ Stupid
how?” Alex asked, arching one eyebrow. He filled both shot
glasses and lifted one to his mouth, tossed the liquid into the back
of his throat, and set the empty glass onto the table.
Chase didn't say anything.
He stood there mindlessly staring at Alex with glassy-eyed wonder.
He watched Alex throw his head back and do the shot, wipe his lips
off with the back of his hand, then Alex met his gaze and stepped
closer. They were almost the same height, putting them eye to eye;
Alex's chest a few sparse inches from pressing into Chase's. Chase
had never let a man stand this close to him, so why was he allowing
Alex into his personal space like this?
Chase felt the warmth of
Alex's fingers fan over the soft hairs of his forearm, then slide up
to curl around the tight muscle of his bicep. A burst of heat shot
through him, like a blast of adrenaline that went straight to his
cock. He tried to get his feet to move backward and they wouldn't.
He needed space between them. His lungs ached from the breath he
just now realized he was holding.
“ I
think it's obvious I want you, Chase,” Alex said, his voice was
a whisper that fluttered over Chase's face like a soft caress. “And,
I'm pretty sure you want me, too, but I won't cross that line with
you until I know Danni is cool with it.”
Alex stepped away and Chase
staggered from the sudden loss of him. His hands went to his head,
as if preventing it from falling off his neck and shoulders.
“ Fuucck,”
Chase said in a breathy sigh, his gaze dropped to the patio stones
beneath his feet.
“ I
know, right?” Alex tossed the
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