to hit me hard throwing my system into overdrive no matter where I went in the court. I still don’t understand the reasons why I have this great sense of smell around these men anyway. In fact, I don’t smell anyone else so potently like the three . They just seem to penetrate deeper into my soul. Pike was able to read me well without links and magic. Like he knew me. He just gets me. Understands even what I don’t say. But Ian can’t seem to ever guess my thoughts or moves.
I was so alone. Ian hadn’t spoken to me again yet and the ignoring thing was getting to me now more than ever. My parents were in so much danger. I was still doing all the wrong things. What else could go wrong? Don’t ask! Don’t ask! That was all I repeated into my pillow as I drifted off to sleep with tears gluing my face to the pillow’s edge.
Long into the night, I didn’t hear the soundless footsteps that led up to and stood beside my bed. The angel dressed in devil’s clothing lying beside me was too still to have just sat down and I wondered how long he’d been here, watching me.
I took a breath, looked at his face, and moved my hand down under the covers to check that all of my clothing was lying against me. He chuckled at my reaction.
I wanted to ask why he was here, but couldn’t find the courage to go first, so I just stared at his eyes avoiding his lips. Trying to concentrate on being mad, my lip curled into my mouth biting my bottom lip.
He knew I was not done quizzing myself inside, but he wanted to be first. “I’m sorry.”
Not enough. I didn’t budge.
He cupped my chin and brushed his thumb against my jaw. “I should be quicker to show you all there is to know, but my self-preservation of what is mine and my non-willingness to lose you takes over. I know you are thinking my man-pride is what it’s all about, but…”
I opened my mouth slightly at that admission of truth giving him an open and acknowledging him using my lingo from years of attacking his ego. Maybe he’s getting somewhere close to what I want to hear using my words to say it.
“…it’s selfishness in its entirety. I can’t lose you, Grace. I won’t lose you.” His eyes flickered. Just for a second only. “I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you,” he repeated. He stared at me and my breath caught in my throat.
I found my voice, but it still cracked from sleep, “I do know that, but it gets in the way of letting me be me. I can’t live under your wing. Forgive the picture, but you’ve got to let me fly. Keeping things from me tears us apart. I can’t go on if you hide from me. I just can’t. What you did, ignoring me. I messed up Ian, but if you hate me that much when I mess up…well, I just can’t bear that either.”
He pulled closer to me. “What else are you keeping from me?” I said thickly being bold and daring in the heat of the moment.
“I’m keeping a lot from you, but that’s beside the point.”
My lungs panged out a sharp tug. “And, you’re not up to sharing just yet?”
“If I told you how much I feel about you, you might be so frightened I’d lose you,” he said in a voice meant only for me! His heart broke in all ways of broken. “So, we will compromise.” His voice was sharp all over again.
I raised my eyebrows because I’d heard this before.
“I mean, if I assure you that you will know every detail from now on that is pertinent for you to know, no matter the severity, you promise to absolutely, never go running off on your own ever, ever again. And you will council before you decide anything that endangers yourself in any way.”
I was looking for a loophole or if he left himself one, but couldn’t find one. Maybe later. “Deal! On one condition.” His hackles rose impulsively. I laughed on the inside. “I will go see my mother.”
“Not that!” He rolled over on his back beside me.
“Why
I was so alone. Ian hadn’t spoken to me again yet and the ignoring thing was getting to me now more than ever. My parents were in so much danger. I was still doing all the wrong things. What else could go wrong? Don’t ask! Don’t ask! That was all I repeated into my pillow as I drifted off to sleep with tears gluing my face to the pillow’s edge.
Long into the night, I didn’t hear the soundless footsteps that led up to and stood beside my bed. The angel dressed in devil’s clothing lying beside me was too still to have just sat down and I wondered how long he’d been here, watching me.
I took a breath, looked at his face, and moved my hand down under the covers to check that all of my clothing was lying against me. He chuckled at my reaction.
I wanted to ask why he was here, but couldn’t find the courage to go first, so I just stared at his eyes avoiding his lips. Trying to concentrate on being mad, my lip curled into my mouth biting my bottom lip.
He knew I was not done quizzing myself inside, but he wanted to be first. “I’m sorry.”
Not enough. I didn’t budge.
He cupped my chin and brushed his thumb against my jaw. “I should be quicker to show you all there is to know, but my self-preservation of what is mine and my non-willingness to lose you takes over. I know you are thinking my man-pride is what it’s all about, but…”
I opened my mouth slightly at that admission of truth giving him an open and acknowledging him using my lingo from years of attacking his ego. Maybe he’s getting somewhere close to what I want to hear using my words to say it.
“…it’s selfishness in its entirety. I can’t lose you, Grace. I won’t lose you.” His eyes flickered. Just for a second only. “I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you,” he repeated. He stared at me and my breath caught in my throat.
I found my voice, but it still cracked from sleep, “I do know that, but it gets in the way of letting me be me. I can’t live under your wing. Forgive the picture, but you’ve got to let me fly. Keeping things from me tears us apart. I can’t go on if you hide from me. I just can’t. What you did, ignoring me. I messed up Ian, but if you hate me that much when I mess up…well, I just can’t bear that either.”
He pulled closer to me. “What else are you keeping from me?” I said thickly being bold and daring in the heat of the moment.
“I’m keeping a lot from you, but that’s beside the point.”
My lungs panged out a sharp tug. “And, you’re not up to sharing just yet?”
“If I told you how much I feel about you, you might be so frightened I’d lose you,” he said in a voice meant only for me! His heart broke in all ways of broken. “So, we will compromise.” His voice was sharp all over again.
I raised my eyebrows because I’d heard this before.
“I mean, if I assure you that you will know every detail from now on that is pertinent for you to know, no matter the severity, you promise to absolutely, never go running off on your own ever, ever again. And you will council before you decide anything that endangers yourself in any way.”
I was looking for a loophole or if he left himself one, but couldn’t find one. Maybe later. “Deal! On one condition.” His hackles rose impulsively. I laughed on the inside. “I will go see my mother.”
“Not that!” He rolled over on his back beside me.
“Why
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