Read Online Tainted Love (Book 1) by Ghiselle St. James - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ghiselle St. James
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quiet apartment. I almost want to chase after him, but knowing I’m bad news for him, I remain planted. It’s better this way.
I don’t know when Rachel came home the night before, but when I check her room, she is passed out. I had to check to make sure she was breathing, my paranoia getting the best of me. I felt bad for still thinking the worst of Ryan. He took care of my girl, so maybe I ought to ease up on the guy. I’d closed her door and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling like the worst friend, not trusting her judgment.
It is 6 a.m. now and I ’d been jolted from my sleep. Green eyes had haunted me in my dreams all night. Ben is like those drugs I used to take, hard to get out of my system.
In the kitchen , I prepare myself a foamy cup of French vanilla coffee. In comfy bed slippers and a fluffy robe, I drag myself over to the chaise. Pulling my legs up and looking out at dusk over Philly, I slowly sip my delicious coffee. Philly at dusk is beautiful and quiet. There is a feeling of tranquility that I experience every time I look out of this window. I feel like nothing can touch me, I feel protected – both from my past and from myself.
Rachel disturbs my solitude with a loud yawn. “Morning, Lilah.”
Lilah is the shortened version of my real name – Delilah . Outside the apartment I am Sullivan Beal. Inside the apartment I am Delilah “Lilah” Keyes.
“ Mm, I smell French vanilla.” She takes a deep breath in, inhaling the aroma of the coffee. We both love French vanilla coffee with lots of foam. It is also our beverage of choice for heartbreaks or deep thinking moments.
Rachel shuffles into the kitchen and pours herself some coffee and sprays whipped cream on the top. Walking over to me, she stops and eyes me speculatively.
“Over,” she scoots as she sits on the chaise with me. She stares at me a beat, those grey eyes studying me.
“ Fluffy robe, foamy coffee, watching the dusk,” she observes. “What’s wrong?” She has the uncanny ability to always tell when something is wrong with me.
“ Ben was here yesterday,” I tell her.
“ Did he hurt you?” She rests her hand on my feet. I can feel her tension.
“No. No, he didn’ t.” I proceed to tell her what happened yesterday, glossing over the sexual details.
“Cut the bullshit, Lilah,” she bites out. “ You want him. You wouldn’t be sitting here thinking about him if you didn’t.”
“We can’ t be together, Rae,” I argue. “You know I’m wrong for him. I’ll hurt him, you know it.”
“ When did you start having a heart?” she debates. “You’ve never cared. Shit, you’ve never cared for anyone except Jared!”
“Come on, I care for you,” I joke, but Rachel gives me a hard stare, not taking the bait.
I sigh. “I know. And that’s what’s freaking me out. Why do I care if I hurt him?” I bury my face in Rachel’s lap. Why did I care?
Rachel strokes my hair, a comforting touch I need. “Honey, you like him. And not for his money,” she deduces. “It’s Jared all over again.”
A pained look crosses my features. I hate talking about Jared. The loss still seemed fresh at times.
I growl at Rae’s deduction. So what if I like Ben? We wouldn’t last and I’d only end up hurting him.
“I don’ t want to give it another thought. Enough of my issues,” I change the subject, not wanting to give into the thought of liking Ben or losing Jared. “How was your day with Ryan?”
“Lilah, it was amazing!” Rachel gushes. A big smile parades across her face and it warms my heart to see her so happy. “We had sex in a meadow – that’s why I didn’t answer your call by the way – and we ate pizza as we drove. We took so many pictures. He owns the Bay Bridge franchise of clothing stores. You remember that chic store we went in to get you that purple dress you wore to Simone’s office party?” Yet another thing that reminds me of Ben. That dress has got to go.
“ He said he saw me
I don’t know when Rachel came home the night before, but when I check her room, she is passed out. I had to check to make sure she was breathing, my paranoia getting the best of me. I felt bad for still thinking the worst of Ryan. He took care of my girl, so maybe I ought to ease up on the guy. I’d closed her door and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling like the worst friend, not trusting her judgment.
It is 6 a.m. now and I ’d been jolted from my sleep. Green eyes had haunted me in my dreams all night. Ben is like those drugs I used to take, hard to get out of my system.
In the kitchen , I prepare myself a foamy cup of French vanilla coffee. In comfy bed slippers and a fluffy robe, I drag myself over to the chaise. Pulling my legs up and looking out at dusk over Philly, I slowly sip my delicious coffee. Philly at dusk is beautiful and quiet. There is a feeling of tranquility that I experience every time I look out of this window. I feel like nothing can touch me, I feel protected – both from my past and from myself.
Rachel disturbs my solitude with a loud yawn. “Morning, Lilah.”
Lilah is the shortened version of my real name – Delilah . Outside the apartment I am Sullivan Beal. Inside the apartment I am Delilah “Lilah” Keyes.
“ Mm, I smell French vanilla.” She takes a deep breath in, inhaling the aroma of the coffee. We both love French vanilla coffee with lots of foam. It is also our beverage of choice for heartbreaks or deep thinking moments.
Rachel shuffles into the kitchen and pours herself some coffee and sprays whipped cream on the top. Walking over to me, she stops and eyes me speculatively.
“Over,” she scoots as she sits on the chaise with me. She stares at me a beat, those grey eyes studying me.
“ Fluffy robe, foamy coffee, watching the dusk,” she observes. “What’s wrong?” She has the uncanny ability to always tell when something is wrong with me.
“ Ben was here yesterday,” I tell her.
“ Did he hurt you?” She rests her hand on my feet. I can feel her tension.
“No. No, he didn’ t.” I proceed to tell her what happened yesterday, glossing over the sexual details.
“Cut the bullshit, Lilah,” she bites out. “ You want him. You wouldn’t be sitting here thinking about him if you didn’t.”
“We can’ t be together, Rae,” I argue. “You know I’m wrong for him. I’ll hurt him, you know it.”
“ When did you start having a heart?” she debates. “You’ve never cared. Shit, you’ve never cared for anyone except Jared!”
“Come on, I care for you,” I joke, but Rachel gives me a hard stare, not taking the bait.
I sigh. “I know. And that’s what’s freaking me out. Why do I care if I hurt him?” I bury my face in Rachel’s lap. Why did I care?
Rachel strokes my hair, a comforting touch I need. “Honey, you like him. And not for his money,” she deduces. “It’s Jared all over again.”
A pained look crosses my features. I hate talking about Jared. The loss still seemed fresh at times.
I growl at Rae’s deduction. So what if I like Ben? We wouldn’t last and I’d only end up hurting him.
“I don’ t want to give it another thought. Enough of my issues,” I change the subject, not wanting to give into the thought of liking Ben or losing Jared. “How was your day with Ryan?”
“Lilah, it was amazing!” Rachel gushes. A big smile parades across her face and it warms my heart to see her so happy. “We had sex in a meadow – that’s why I didn’t answer your call by the way – and we ate pizza as we drove. We took so many pictures. He owns the Bay Bridge franchise of clothing stores. You remember that chic store we went in to get you that purple dress you wore to Simone’s office party?” Yet another thing that reminds me of Ben. That dress has got to go.
“ He said he saw me
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