Read Online Tainted Love (Book 1) by Ghiselle St. James - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Ghiselle St. James
Ads: Link
leave her the voice message, hoping that nothing is wrong. I’d so love to kick Ryan’s ass.
Ben stares crossly at me. “Who’s Ray?”
“My roommate.”
“You live with a guy?” he inquires angrily, he releases his fork, the utensil clattering down on the dish he is eating from. I laugh at the question and his unwarranted jealousy, then I quail when he gives me an icy glare.
“No. No. Rae’s not a guy. Rachel. She’s my best friend,” I explain, fumbling to put a sentence together.
“Oh.” He resumes eating his Mac and cheese.
What? I shake out of the trance of what just happened.
“Ben,” I sigh. I know what I have to say next is going to start another argument between us and I am already exhausted.
“What do I have to do to make you say yes?” He rests his dish on the lamp stand and takes mine, putting it alongside his. “Okay, you don’t want a relationship. Let’s find a middle ground.”
“This is not a business deal, Ben,” I scold him.
“Well, fuck, Sullivan,” he pulls me closer to him, pressing his forehead to mine. “Call the shots, Sullivan. The ball is in your court.”
I gawk at him. The pleasure has already been out of this world, and he’ll take care of me? Those should be magic words, but none of the bad in me is giving me the slightest push toward using him. I just can’t do it. What’s more, he’s giving power to me. This is what scares me. He does and says things that have me crumbling before him. His intensity frightens and arouses me all in the same breath. He wants to own me and by God, I want him to; but it is such a scary thought. He doesn’t know me, only the “me” that I’ve allowed him and others to see. I can imagine that leaving him would prove difficult if we ever got to that point. In the long run everything ends. Nothing is ever permanent – nothing can ever be – and I will make things remain so for as long as I live. No one deserves my level of fucked up.
“Ben, even if we wanted to, we couldn’t. You’re Simone’s boss and she’s one of my closest friends aside from Rae.”
“Can you please call her Rachel?” he snaps.
“You’re diverting from the point, Ben. Do you know how weird that is, fucking my friend’s boss?”
“It’s not,” he insists.
“It is to me. What if we broke up?” I contend.
“We wouldn’t be dating, remember?” he reminds me, grasping my knees.
“What if I talk about you to her? She wouldn’t see you the same way.”
“Then don’t talk about me,” he says resolutely. I let out an exasperated sigh. I can’t win with him.
“Fine,” he settles. “We won’t date, or fuck.”
I don’t know why I feel so disappointed about him giving up so quickly. It’s a strange feeling, one I shouldn’t harbor, and it irks the shit out of me.
“I have to go,” he says, getting up. His face is callous and unfeeling.
“Please don’t go,” I beg, my voice soft.
“What’s the sense in staying, Sullivan?” He is annoyed, I can tell.
He is right, though. Why would he stay? We’d probably end up having sex again, but that would be it.
He pads into my room and readies himself. Re-entering the living room, I take him all in. Am I really willing to give up all this sexiness; this rugged specimen of beautiful maleness? Damn, he is magnificent in all his tall, mesomorphic glory.
I walk to the door to let him out. I can’t resist. I lock my lips over his. Deepening the kiss, he squeezes my waist, his breathing ragged. He runs his hand up my back and grasps my ponytail and tugs it hard so my head tilts up to him. Ben kisses me hard, overpowering my mouth with his tongue. With every flick of his tongue, desire courses through my veins, hot and livid.
I am left bereft when he pulls away from me. “Fuck, Sullivan.” He adjusts himself and I can see his erection. “This…conversation…” he motions between us, “is not over.”
Ben swings the door open then slams it shut, leaving me alone in the
Ben stares crossly at me. “Who’s Ray?”
“My roommate.”
“You live with a guy?” he inquires angrily, he releases his fork, the utensil clattering down on the dish he is eating from. I laugh at the question and his unwarranted jealousy, then I quail when he gives me an icy glare.
“No. No. Rae’s not a guy. Rachel. She’s my best friend,” I explain, fumbling to put a sentence together.
“Oh.” He resumes eating his Mac and cheese.
What? I shake out of the trance of what just happened.
“Ben,” I sigh. I know what I have to say next is going to start another argument between us and I am already exhausted.
“What do I have to do to make you say yes?” He rests his dish on the lamp stand and takes mine, putting it alongside his. “Okay, you don’t want a relationship. Let’s find a middle ground.”
“This is not a business deal, Ben,” I scold him.
“Well, fuck, Sullivan,” he pulls me closer to him, pressing his forehead to mine. “Call the shots, Sullivan. The ball is in your court.”
I gawk at him. The pleasure has already been out of this world, and he’ll take care of me? Those should be magic words, but none of the bad in me is giving me the slightest push toward using him. I just can’t do it. What’s more, he’s giving power to me. This is what scares me. He does and says things that have me crumbling before him. His intensity frightens and arouses me all in the same breath. He wants to own me and by God, I want him to; but it is such a scary thought. He doesn’t know me, only the “me” that I’ve allowed him and others to see. I can imagine that leaving him would prove difficult if we ever got to that point. In the long run everything ends. Nothing is ever permanent – nothing can ever be – and I will make things remain so for as long as I live. No one deserves my level of fucked up.
“Ben, even if we wanted to, we couldn’t. You’re Simone’s boss and she’s one of my closest friends aside from Rae.”
“Can you please call her Rachel?” he snaps.
“You’re diverting from the point, Ben. Do you know how weird that is, fucking my friend’s boss?”
“It’s not,” he insists.
“It is to me. What if we broke up?” I contend.
“We wouldn’t be dating, remember?” he reminds me, grasping my knees.
“What if I talk about you to her? She wouldn’t see you the same way.”
“Then don’t talk about me,” he says resolutely. I let out an exasperated sigh. I can’t win with him.
“Fine,” he settles. “We won’t date, or fuck.”
I don’t know why I feel so disappointed about him giving up so quickly. It’s a strange feeling, one I shouldn’t harbor, and it irks the shit out of me.
“I have to go,” he says, getting up. His face is callous and unfeeling.
“Please don’t go,” I beg, my voice soft.
“What’s the sense in staying, Sullivan?” He is annoyed, I can tell.
He is right, though. Why would he stay? We’d probably end up having sex again, but that would be it.
He pads into my room and readies himself. Re-entering the living room, I take him all in. Am I really willing to give up all this sexiness; this rugged specimen of beautiful maleness? Damn, he is magnificent in all his tall, mesomorphic glory.
I walk to the door to let him out. I can’t resist. I lock my lips over his. Deepening the kiss, he squeezes my waist, his breathing ragged. He runs his hand up my back and grasps my ponytail and tugs it hard so my head tilts up to him. Ben kisses me hard, overpowering my mouth with his tongue. With every flick of his tongue, desire courses through my veins, hot and livid.
I am left bereft when he pulls away from me. “Fuck, Sullivan.” He adjusts himself and I can see his erection. “This…conversation…” he motions between us, “is not over.”
Ben swings the door open then slams it shut, leaving me alone in the
Similar Books
