Read Online Switchback by Catherine Anderson - Free Book Online Page B

chest nearly touched her knees.
    Mac sighed and crouched next to Mallory, placing his hand on her hair at the back of her neck. The warmth of his touch was nearly her undoing. Tears burned in her throat, forming a huge lump that suffocated her. Closing her eyes, Mallory clung to what little self-control she had left and conjured a vision of her mother to put some starch back into her spine. Crying in front of a stranger would be the unforgivable sin in Norma Steele’s books.
Ladies
didn’t make spectacles of themselves,
not ever
. And her mother was right. How could she help Emily if she was falling apart.
    Keeping her head bowed, she straightened her shoulders. “I’m handling this badly. Just, um, give me a second. I’ll—”
    â€œYou’ll what? Pretend everything’s fine for another hour? I think you’re handling this better than most people could.”
    â€œNo, I’m not.”
    Her voice floated up to Mac no louder than a whisper. He studied her bent head and wished he knew what to say to her. There was no shame in tears, after all. But she seemed to think so. Who had done this to her? Beneath his hand, he could feel her shaking, feel the brittle tension in the column of her neck.
    â€œI’m not real good at comforting people, but I’ve got a great shoulder to lend you. Absorbent, anyway.” Mac watched her, feeling inept. Why couldn’t he just say what he meant, that he wouldn’t mind holding her? The words caught at the base of his throat. “I—Mallory, come here.”
    She shook her head emphatically. “Crying never solved anything. In my family...” Her voice trailed off.
    With a heavy sigh, he cupped her chin and lifted her face. His touch felt sandpapery and warm against Mallory’s skin, so strong and solid that she wanted to lean into it. In the moonlight, his eyes shimmered silver, delving so deeply into hers she felt as if he knew her every thought.
    â€œCrying may not solve anything, but it sure can make you feel better sometimes.”
    â€œHow would you know?”
    â€œExperience. When my little brother—” He broke off and shrugged one shoulder. “There have been a few times. Over in Nam. Here. We all have to let go sometimes.” He tightened his grip on her chin. “The point is, you don’t have to pretend with me, okay? There’s no sin in having feelings.”
    Drawing away from him, Mallory dragged in a deep breath of air, acutely conscious of his other hand where it still rested against her hair. “It’s just that I feel so helpless, so alone. When something happens to your kids, you expect to have the other parent to share it with. You can lean on each other, you know? I’m so
scared
. I wish it was me instead of her. If only it was.”
    He slid his hand to her shoulder, draping his other arm across his bent knee. He studied the brick pattern of the porch for a long while. “I know I’m a poor substitute for your husband or Keith, but you’re not alone. And if you need that shoulder I offered, I won’t think any less of you for it.”
    â€œI’m afraid that’s not saying a lot.”
    He looked up at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    â€œThat you don’t think much of me anyway.”
    She felt his thumb rasp along the arm seam of her jacket, saw the corners of his mouth quiver with a repressed smile. “It’s a bad habit, I guess, judging people by their addresses.”
    A peculiar awareness electrified the air between them. Not sensual, but powerful just the same, a drawing together, a feeling of having known one another always. It frightened her. They had been thrown together by crazy circumstances, then shaken up for most of the day like the dried seeds in a maraca. There hadn’t been time for the usual proprieties, and now it seemed too late for them. Her emotions were roller coastering out of control.