Read Online Sunrise Fires by Heather LaBarge - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Heather LaBarge
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“Well…did you?” he pressed.
“Too afraid,” I whispered, feeling emotionally raw and vulnerable.
“What?”
I looked at him and scowled, “I said I was too afraid, all right. Fucking scared. Fearless at work and an imp at home. Okay?! There, I said it. Are you happy now?”
Ryan giggled. “Yep. Happy as a clam.” He slid back down onto the bed next to me, propping himself on his elbow again. He cupped my chin and drew my gaze toward him. “Listen here, my scared little imp.” He kissed me. “I love you. And Germany is nothing but a place. And in that place, you’ll find more success. I want you to shine. You’re brilliant at work. And clearly, they need someone like you there to take the German sporting goods market by storm. I’m proud to be with someone so successful. And when you’re gone, I’ll be bragging about you the whole time.”
“And what about us?” I looked down at his chest.
“What about us?”
“Why won’t you come with me?”
“You know the answer to that. Is it really fair of you to expect me to traipse over the globe after you? I have a job here and a life. My family and friends are here. Just as I want you to have success and happiness in your life, I want to find that in my own life as well. And that life is here. And in a year, when you get back, I will still be here, still loving you, still proud of you, still wanting to be with you.”
“But I’ll miss you,” my eyes searched his for reassurance.
“And I’ll miss you, babe.” He drew me into his chest and held me close. I entangled my legs in his and tried to lose my body inside his. “I’ll miss you a lot,” he said. We lay in silence for long minutes. I wept silently.
* * *
The call that had come that morning had been Dullberth again. I finally called him back and accepted the job in Germany. I spent the next month in a flurry of training my replacement and getting ready to go; making sure I had my passport, and that the offices in Germany had everything set. Did I have an apartment? Was there a company vehicle? What did I need aside from my bags and my passport?
And I made sure to spend time with those who mattered to me.
I started with my best friend, Talia.
I took a weekend trip to California to see her, and as my plane touched down in central California, the months that had passed since I’d last seen her suddenly felt like years. As I walked through the airport, making my way to baggage claim, my heart hastened along with my steps.
She was standing by my baggage conveyor, five foot six and with an attitude that made her seven feet tall. We’d met more than a decade ago in a class on developing successful business training strategies. The class was taught poorly and dragged on miserably. It was nearly unbearable, so much so that we built six months of a relationship during the three weeks we spent in Detroit attending it. We had similar work ethics and similar views on personal accountability. And we both loved Italian food. We did our assignments in tandem, and then searched Detroit for its redeeming qualities. Talia was one of the first women I loved and accepted in spite of our vast differences. First, her salsa music was so abhorrent to me that I graciously offered to drive whenever we went out on the town. Secretly, I was hoping that being the driver meant that I had more than a fifty percent say about what was played on the radio. Talia saw things in their objective reality, whereas I always added an emotional ‘human factor’ when I analyzed the same problem sets. She charged me with being blinded by emotion while I jovially called her heartless. She was stoic, strong, and unapologetic while I was strong, independent, but hoping to find friendly footing with everyone I met. Our differences were many and yet… we worked. We loved and respected one another wholly and even sometimes joked that if it weren’t for the lack of sexual interest, we’d be
“Too afraid,” I whispered, feeling emotionally raw and vulnerable.
“What?”
I looked at him and scowled, “I said I was too afraid, all right. Fucking scared. Fearless at work and an imp at home. Okay?! There, I said it. Are you happy now?”
Ryan giggled. “Yep. Happy as a clam.” He slid back down onto the bed next to me, propping himself on his elbow again. He cupped my chin and drew my gaze toward him. “Listen here, my scared little imp.” He kissed me. “I love you. And Germany is nothing but a place. And in that place, you’ll find more success. I want you to shine. You’re brilliant at work. And clearly, they need someone like you there to take the German sporting goods market by storm. I’m proud to be with someone so successful. And when you’re gone, I’ll be bragging about you the whole time.”
“And what about us?” I looked down at his chest.
“What about us?”
“Why won’t you come with me?”
“You know the answer to that. Is it really fair of you to expect me to traipse over the globe after you? I have a job here and a life. My family and friends are here. Just as I want you to have success and happiness in your life, I want to find that in my own life as well. And that life is here. And in a year, when you get back, I will still be here, still loving you, still proud of you, still wanting to be with you.”
“But I’ll miss you,” my eyes searched his for reassurance.
“And I’ll miss you, babe.” He drew me into his chest and held me close. I entangled my legs in his and tried to lose my body inside his. “I’ll miss you a lot,” he said. We lay in silence for long minutes. I wept silently.
* * *
The call that had come that morning had been Dullberth again. I finally called him back and accepted the job in Germany. I spent the next month in a flurry of training my replacement and getting ready to go; making sure I had my passport, and that the offices in Germany had everything set. Did I have an apartment? Was there a company vehicle? What did I need aside from my bags and my passport?
And I made sure to spend time with those who mattered to me.
I started with my best friend, Talia.
I took a weekend trip to California to see her, and as my plane touched down in central California, the months that had passed since I’d last seen her suddenly felt like years. As I walked through the airport, making my way to baggage claim, my heart hastened along with my steps.
She was standing by my baggage conveyor, five foot six and with an attitude that made her seven feet tall. We’d met more than a decade ago in a class on developing successful business training strategies. The class was taught poorly and dragged on miserably. It was nearly unbearable, so much so that we built six months of a relationship during the three weeks we spent in Detroit attending it. We had similar work ethics and similar views on personal accountability. And we both loved Italian food. We did our assignments in tandem, and then searched Detroit for its redeeming qualities. Talia was one of the first women I loved and accepted in spite of our vast differences. First, her salsa music was so abhorrent to me that I graciously offered to drive whenever we went out on the town. Secretly, I was hoping that being the driver meant that I had more than a fifty percent say about what was played on the radio. Talia saw things in their objective reality, whereas I always added an emotional ‘human factor’ when I analyzed the same problem sets. She charged me with being blinded by emotion while I jovially called her heartless. She was stoic, strong, and unapologetic while I was strong, independent, but hoping to find friendly footing with everyone I met. Our differences were many and yet… we worked. We loved and respected one another wholly and even sometimes joked that if it weren’t for the lack of sexual interest, we’d be
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