Read Online Sunflowers by Sheramy Bundrick - Free Book Online Page A

and although we couldn’t marry, we lived as man and wife—as a family—for well over a year.” He looked up, not at me but into the past, a wistful smile on his face.
    Over a year. She’d taken care of him, he’d taken care of her. She cleaned his house and cooked his meals, and they lived together in a real home. She slept beside him in his bed the way I had, like me she fussed at him about breakfast. “What happened?”
    He drew on the table with his fork again, and his voice changed. “It didn’t last. When I finally told my parents, my father thought I’d gone mad. Sien and I never had enough money, and she complained that I spent too much on my paintings and drawings. We started fighting more and more. Theo came to visit, and he helped me see that the situation was hopeless, that for the sake of my work and my health I needed to leave. I went to Drenthe to live on the heath, then to Nuenen to live with my parents. I saw Sien and the children once more, when I returned to The Hague to collect some things I left behind.”
    “You left her?” I gasped. “Just like that?”
    “She didn’t love me anymore, and if Theo had cut me off…” His eyes were liquid. “For months I wondered if I did right, and sometimes I still do. It broke my heart to leave the children. If they’d been mine, no force on earth could have taken me from them, but…”
    Of course for a man of his age there had to have been other women—I wasn’t so naïve to believe otherwise—but I hadn’t expected this. He’d created a home with Sien then left her because Theo had said he should. What would Theo say if he knew about me? I wondered. Was I any better a match than Sien Hoornik?
    Vincent reached across the table to take my hand in his. “Rachel, what happened between me and Sien was a long time ago. I made a lot of mistakes that I wouldn’t make again, mistakes that shame me now, but I felt you had to know. Especially after yesterday. I hope this won’t change things between us, although I’d understand if…” He let the thought fade away.
    I could leave without looking back. I could forget him, the sunflowers, the feeling of his arms around me, pretend it never happened. Or I could believe, as I wanted to believe, that I was more to him than just another whore from the brothels, that I wouldn’t end up like Françoise when her man had left her, or like Sien. I stood at a crossroads, two paths winding before me to a distant, misty horizon. In my mind, I knew I had a choice. But in my heart, I knew I didn’t.

    We said good-bye at the public garden, Vincent continuing toward the beech tree and cedar bush in his yellow straw hat, me in yesterday’s dress heading to the Rue du Bout d’Arles. “Do you want to see me again?” he asked in a low voice before I walked away, and I assured him that nothing had changed. He looked relieved and kissed me on the forehead.
    I figured I’d get a scolding back at the maison , but I didn’t expect Françoise to be the one waiting for me. “Where have you been? Madame Virginie’s furious, as well she should be. Staying out all night without a word to anyone.”
    Jacqui couldn’t resist joining in. “She’s been with that crazy painter.” At my shocked expression, she added, “Yesterday wasn’t market day, idiote . I followed you to the Place Lamartine. His house is just as ugly as he is.”
    “Rachel, what were you thinking?” Françoise cried. “Don’t you remember what I—”
    “He needed help moving,” I broke in. “I cooked him supper and mended his clothes. To be nice.” Françoise crossed her arms without comment, and I glared at Jacqui. “He’s not crazy.”
    “Playing house, were you?” Jacqui jeered. “All night long? I can’t imagine why anybody’d want to sleep with that. Unless he has a really big—paintbrush!”
    “You’ll never know,” I snapped before turning back to Françoise. “He paid me four francs, and I’m giving half to Madame