James might – until it was time to take another cab to the spa.
The waiting room at Spa-tastic felt very Zen-like. Birds chirped and a pan flute floated across scented air. Water gurgled gently from various fountains and white flowers soothed the eye.
A small elderly Asian woman appeared out of nowhere and gently guided me into a tiny room with bare walls and a massage table. She informed me that her name was Miss Tan and that she’d come here from Korea thirty years ago. Her countenance was sweet, but she was also no-nonsense – something like a cute but maturing tiger.
But nothing could dampen my anticipation. It had been a long time since I’d treated myself to such an indulgence and I couldhardly wait to feel her capable hands gently massaging away my broken heart.
Miss Tan removed her buckled slippers with great ceremony and then lit a stick of musky incense. I stood as still as possible out of respect for her ritual until she barked at me to hurry up, disrobe, and slip under the sheet – face up.
It was a mighty good thing that I’d shaved everything so pristine. I was expecting her to leave the room as is proper etiquette but she remained where she was, with hands on hips. I tried to undress as quickly as possible without giving her much visual access to my ample thighs and hips. Soon I was safely concealed under the cool sheet. But she promptly positioned herself over me – studying me with a very concerned, almost puzzled expression.
“You don’t need massage,” she said.
“I don’t?”
“You need reike.”
“What’s that?”
“I spin your circles – they clogged up.”
“Circles?”
“The chakras are stuck, the chi is backed up – like a clogged pipe,” she said, rather annoyed.
“Oh.”
“What wrong with you?” she asked.
“I don’t know.”
“We find out.”
“Okay.”
Before I could inquire further, she was pulling invisible bands of energy out of my chest.
“Spin spin spin,” she cried. “Spin the sex, spin the dust, spin the crown.”
I had no clue what was happening but my tummy felt the way it does when a roller coaster plummets.
“You squirmy inside,” she said. “A big ball of mix-up.”
“Yes – that seems about right.”
Tan closed her eyes and motioned her hands in slow ovals over my body – she looked like a human metal detector.
“Ahhhhhhhhh,” she said. “A-ha.”
“What?”
“You shut yourself off like a light.”
“I do?”
“You in off mode.”
“I am?”
“Yes.”
“How do I turn myself back on?”
“Only you know,” she said.
“Know what?”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“How?” I asked.
She shrugged again.
“Miss Tan?”
“Call me Tan.”
“Tan.”
“Stop whining, child – this is half your problem.”
“Yeah, but – ”
“But nothing. The answers in your chest.”
“They are?”
“You not foolish – you know already.”
“But I’m confused.”
“No, you not confused. You stuck.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“No, stuck is to know and not act.”
“So then what is confused?”
“To not know and not act.”
I scratched at the palm of my hand.
“Empowerment is to not know but act anyway.”
“Or maybe that’s the definition of reckless,” I said.
She ignored me and concentrated on wiggling each of her strong but tiny fingers.
“Do you have any juice?” I asked.
“Stop distracting,” she snapped.
“But I’m thirsty.”
“Distracted.”
“But even you said I was a big ball of mix-up.”
“Until I examined your chest.”
“What about it?”
“You in love. Simple.”
I was shocked. How could she possibly know such a thing? And how could it possibly be simple? But even more importantly, how could I be in love with someone after only a few hours together – a guy too spoiled to ever even hold a job.
“I am not.”
“Stop judging.”
“I’m not,” I said.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“So now you can see my thoughts?” I asked.
“Your energy.
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