yet, at least. By the time I see him again, I don't know if I'll want to.
He's far away and I'm here. Our plans for weekend visits are probably out of the question now. This may be a good thing, though. It means I won't have to see him until Christmas break if I don't want to.
I'm not sure if that's what I want. I really don't know right now. I...
I turn off my computer and quickly walk out of my room. I'm not sure where I'm going at first. I just need to go. I need to be somewhere else entirely. I want to go somewhere I wouldn't usually go, so I can pretend I'm someone else.
I walk down the hall without any particular destination in mind. I turn quickly, heading through the open double doors on my left. It's the common room almost right across from the elevator. There's no one here right now. It's too early. I don't think anyone ever comes here this early, but I'm not really sure. I don't usually come here at all, or at least very rarely.
I sit on the couch and stare at the TV. The TV is off, but I kind of like it. It's dark and quiet and I kind of just feel like I want to be in a dark and quiet mood at the moment. I sit and stare at it and seethe and brood and...
Really, Ethan? I mean, really? I was trying so hard to make this work! True, I enjoyed everything, too. I liked thinking of ways to keep our sex life exciting, even when we were far apart. I liked that Ethan thought of some things for us to do, also.
His shower idea? With me putting my phone in a clear plastic bag and taping it to the shower wall so that he could watch me masturbate in there? Yes, um... I don't think I would have ever done that before, but it was exciting in its own way. I liked how it was kind of risky, but not too much, and I liked how he really enjoyed it.
He seemed to like my headphone blowjob idea, too. And more. The pictures we texted to each other. The video he sent me. All of it. Everything.
Apparently not, though. Apparently it wasn't enough. He needed the real thing, or at least he wanted it, and Ethan's a bad boy. He doesn't follow the rules, and I'm not sure he ever has. I don't know why I thought he'd follow the rules we made for each other.
It just seemed different. He seemed different...
Someone comes in to the common room and sits next to me on the couch. I start to look over and glare at them, but I'm met with a bright smile instead.
"Oh, I love this show!" Kevin says, looking at me, and then to the turned off TV.
I don't want to laugh. I want to glare and be angry, because I really am angry. It's kind of funny, though. It's hard not to laugh and smile a little bit when someone smiles at you the way Kevin is smiling at me. It's not his fault Ethan is an asshole, either.
"I didn't want to watch anything," I say, grumping and crossing my arms over my chest. "I just wanted to get away for a second and this was the closest place."
"What's wrong?" he asks. "Sorry about teasing you. I didn't realize you were upset before."
I look at him quick. Then I look away. I stare at the floor for a second, then I look back at him. He's... pensive, I guess is the best way to describe it. He looks concerned. He looks like he actually cares and wants to know what's bothering me and he's not just asking because that's what you usually do if you see someone that's upset.
I thought Ethan cared, too, but you know how that turned out.
"You knew Ethan, too, right?" I ask him. "I mean, you did, I guess, but did you really know him? You know what he's like? With girls and everything? He was always just with them for a week or two and then he moved on to someone else..."
"Yeah," Kevin says, shrugging slightly. "I mean, that's how he was, but he's different with you, isn't he? That's how you made it seem, at least. I don't really know. I haven't seen him since high school, so I'm not sure if he's changed. You'd know him better than me."
"I thought I did," I say. "We've been dating the entire summer. It's been a little over two months, which
He's far away and I'm here. Our plans for weekend visits are probably out of the question now. This may be a good thing, though. It means I won't have to see him until Christmas break if I don't want to.
I'm not sure if that's what I want. I really don't know right now. I...
I turn off my computer and quickly walk out of my room. I'm not sure where I'm going at first. I just need to go. I need to be somewhere else entirely. I want to go somewhere I wouldn't usually go, so I can pretend I'm someone else.
I walk down the hall without any particular destination in mind. I turn quickly, heading through the open double doors on my left. It's the common room almost right across from the elevator. There's no one here right now. It's too early. I don't think anyone ever comes here this early, but I'm not really sure. I don't usually come here at all, or at least very rarely.
I sit on the couch and stare at the TV. The TV is off, but I kind of like it. It's dark and quiet and I kind of just feel like I want to be in a dark and quiet mood at the moment. I sit and stare at it and seethe and brood and...
Really, Ethan? I mean, really? I was trying so hard to make this work! True, I enjoyed everything, too. I liked thinking of ways to keep our sex life exciting, even when we were far apart. I liked that Ethan thought of some things for us to do, also.
His shower idea? With me putting my phone in a clear plastic bag and taping it to the shower wall so that he could watch me masturbate in there? Yes, um... I don't think I would have ever done that before, but it was exciting in its own way. I liked how it was kind of risky, but not too much, and I liked how he really enjoyed it.
He seemed to like my headphone blowjob idea, too. And more. The pictures we texted to each other. The video he sent me. All of it. Everything.
Apparently not, though. Apparently it wasn't enough. He needed the real thing, or at least he wanted it, and Ethan's a bad boy. He doesn't follow the rules, and I'm not sure he ever has. I don't know why I thought he'd follow the rules we made for each other.
It just seemed different. He seemed different...
Someone comes in to the common room and sits next to me on the couch. I start to look over and glare at them, but I'm met with a bright smile instead.
"Oh, I love this show!" Kevin says, looking at me, and then to the turned off TV.
I don't want to laugh. I want to glare and be angry, because I really am angry. It's kind of funny, though. It's hard not to laugh and smile a little bit when someone smiles at you the way Kevin is smiling at me. It's not his fault Ethan is an asshole, either.
"I didn't want to watch anything," I say, grumping and crossing my arms over my chest. "I just wanted to get away for a second and this was the closest place."
"What's wrong?" he asks. "Sorry about teasing you. I didn't realize you were upset before."
I look at him quick. Then I look away. I stare at the floor for a second, then I look back at him. He's... pensive, I guess is the best way to describe it. He looks concerned. He looks like he actually cares and wants to know what's bothering me and he's not just asking because that's what you usually do if you see someone that's upset.
I thought Ethan cared, too, but you know how that turned out.
"You knew Ethan, too, right?" I ask him. "I mean, you did, I guess, but did you really know him? You know what he's like? With girls and everything? He was always just with them for a week or two and then he moved on to someone else..."
"Yeah," Kevin says, shrugging slightly. "I mean, that's how he was, but he's different with you, isn't he? That's how you made it seem, at least. I don't really know. I haven't seen him since high school, so I'm not sure if he's changed. You'd know him better than me."
"I thought I did," I say. "We've been dating the entire summer. It's been a little over two months, which
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