Read Online Soul Scars (Dog Haven Sanctuary Romance) by Tasman Gibb - Free Book Online
Authors: Tasman Gibb
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that she still carried, uncertain if showing Adam and Marlo would create a bigger issue for him. She toyed with her coffee cup.
Adam continued, “I handled it badly. I could see Vince had dissociated, and I didn’t want him to leave here when he came out of it. I played the tough card, but I think that was too confrontational. It’s probably why he’s taken off again.”
“It’s not your fault. There’s so much going on in that head of his I doubt your response was even the catalyst. We don’t have him totally on board yet with this training for Calliope. I’d thought of doing the tough thing, too. I was going to refuse to take Calliope anymore. You know, force him to take her with him. Now I see that won’t work.”
“Last year I went to his house when he’d had that meltdown, and he wanted to give Calliope up.” Marlo fixed Lulah with a firm stare. “I believe we need to make things as easy for him with Calliope as we can. The two of them clearly have a strong connection. If you don’t want to take her when he goes off, Lulah, she can always come and stay with us.”
Lulah shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It’s not the actual act of taking care of Calliope that is the problem. In truth, I tried to force Vince to be one hundred percent responsible for her care. It sounds so ignorant, but I wanted him to stop dumping her on me when it no longer suited him to have her. I’m aware of so much more about him now, and I realize that no matter how much I want Vince to take responsibility for her, some days he isn’t capable of that. It’s not a matter of what suits him; it’s more about what he can manage. Foremost, he’s caring about Calliope, and I was caring about…” She took a deep breath, nearly trembling with the emotional force.
She raised her head, looked from Marlo to Adam, back to Marlo again, hoping one of them would give her that nod that told her she’d said enough. There they sat, impassive, waiting for her to pull that last piece out. “Shit, I thought I could force him to get well. I thought, maybe if he tried a bit harder, he could make the horror parts of him go away.”
“You want him to be more reliable.”
Trust Adam to hit the spot. She nodded. Yes, that’s exactly what she wanted.
“Does he share much with you, Lulah?”
God, she could feel the weight of their expectation of her honest reply. She’d never been able to hide stuff from them. Obviously, her father’s poker face hadn’t passed down with his genes. “We don’t discuss much. Occasionally, he tells me something, but he tends to stop before he goes too deep. He wrote a note. Do you want to see it?” That offer felt like betrayal.
Marlo responded quickly. “No, that was written to you. Unless you think we should see it or you think he’d harm himself, keep it between you and Vince.”
She had spent much of the night worrying about that exact thing. Worrying that within the note was a clue that she might have missed. Something that would tell her he couldn’t go on. “I think it was more an apology for leaving Calliope again, rather than a cry for help.” All she could do now was hope she’d interpreted it right.
“Perhaps—” Marlo started, but Adam cut in, shaking his head.
“It’s between Lulah and Vince, hon.”
Lulah waited, struggling with herself, needing to say the words, to admit her own vulnerability this once, so that Marlo and Adam would know that although her strength wasn’t a facade, it also didn’t stay with her all the time. “Sometimes, I’m so scared.”
“Not of Vince.”
“No. I’m scared for Vince.” She took another breath. “I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility of deciding whether I’ve misunderstood a cry for help.”
Adam held out his hand. “Let me read the note.”
Lulah passed it to him. As she went back to her chair, she glanced out the window. “Mike’s here.”
“It’s okay; he doesn’t have to know about this.” Adam read
Adam continued, “I handled it badly. I could see Vince had dissociated, and I didn’t want him to leave here when he came out of it. I played the tough card, but I think that was too confrontational. It’s probably why he’s taken off again.”
“It’s not your fault. There’s so much going on in that head of his I doubt your response was even the catalyst. We don’t have him totally on board yet with this training for Calliope. I’d thought of doing the tough thing, too. I was going to refuse to take Calliope anymore. You know, force him to take her with him. Now I see that won’t work.”
“Last year I went to his house when he’d had that meltdown, and he wanted to give Calliope up.” Marlo fixed Lulah with a firm stare. “I believe we need to make things as easy for him with Calliope as we can. The two of them clearly have a strong connection. If you don’t want to take her when he goes off, Lulah, she can always come and stay with us.”
Lulah shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It’s not the actual act of taking care of Calliope that is the problem. In truth, I tried to force Vince to be one hundred percent responsible for her care. It sounds so ignorant, but I wanted him to stop dumping her on me when it no longer suited him to have her. I’m aware of so much more about him now, and I realize that no matter how much I want Vince to take responsibility for her, some days he isn’t capable of that. It’s not a matter of what suits him; it’s more about what he can manage. Foremost, he’s caring about Calliope, and I was caring about…” She took a deep breath, nearly trembling with the emotional force.
She raised her head, looked from Marlo to Adam, back to Marlo again, hoping one of them would give her that nod that told her she’d said enough. There they sat, impassive, waiting for her to pull that last piece out. “Shit, I thought I could force him to get well. I thought, maybe if he tried a bit harder, he could make the horror parts of him go away.”
“You want him to be more reliable.”
Trust Adam to hit the spot. She nodded. Yes, that’s exactly what she wanted.
“Does he share much with you, Lulah?”
God, she could feel the weight of their expectation of her honest reply. She’d never been able to hide stuff from them. Obviously, her father’s poker face hadn’t passed down with his genes. “We don’t discuss much. Occasionally, he tells me something, but he tends to stop before he goes too deep. He wrote a note. Do you want to see it?” That offer felt like betrayal.
Marlo responded quickly. “No, that was written to you. Unless you think we should see it or you think he’d harm himself, keep it between you and Vince.”
She had spent much of the night worrying about that exact thing. Worrying that within the note was a clue that she might have missed. Something that would tell her he couldn’t go on. “I think it was more an apology for leaving Calliope again, rather than a cry for help.” All she could do now was hope she’d interpreted it right.
“Perhaps—” Marlo started, but Adam cut in, shaking his head.
“It’s between Lulah and Vince, hon.”
Lulah waited, struggling with herself, needing to say the words, to admit her own vulnerability this once, so that Marlo and Adam would know that although her strength wasn’t a facade, it also didn’t stay with her all the time. “Sometimes, I’m so scared.”
“Not of Vince.”
“No. I’m scared for Vince.” She took another breath. “I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility of deciding whether I’ve misunderstood a cry for help.”
Adam held out his hand. “Let me read the note.”
Lulah passed it to him. As she went back to her chair, she glanced out the window. “Mike’s here.”
“It’s okay; he doesn’t have to know about this.” Adam read
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